WWE Elimination Chamber 2018 Review, Comments, Etc.

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Good lord was that show trash. It was such trash that, for only the second time in history, I didn’t even watch the whole thing. So – this isn’t even going to be a real review and I’m not giving ratings. I watched the chambers and the contract signing. After the bullshit of the first chamber there was no good reason to make myself suffer through three other shitty matches.

The women’s elimination chamber wasn’t even good. But, I’m not surprised. Mandy Rose is awful, Sonya Deville is average, and Alexa Bliss is a steaming pile of bear shit. To their credit, Mickie and Bayley are good to great, but niether have credibility. Why in the world this match opened with a 2 on 1 of Absolution vs. Bayley I’ll never know. Mandy is SO FUCKING BAD. It took the match down before it could even start. It should’ve started with Mickie and Bayley. The crowd was legitimately dead from the get go. And then Sasha entered which was no surprise because we gotta do the pointless two on two shit. Mandy got eliminated first because even backstage peeps know she sucks. Mickie came in after and even though she was only in for a few minutes, I enjoyed what we got from her. She took Sonya out with a Thesz Press off the pod. Then Sasha and Bayley took her out collectively and waited for Alexa to get out. See how Alexa has been champion for so long but then she can’t even be counted on to take part in the match for more than seven minutes. You know the real workhorses and the ones who are ACTUALLY good at what they do are the ones that are in the match the longest, like when you’re in a match for 50 minutes plus. Alexa runs and climbs like a bitch from Sasha and Bayley until Sasha stupidly knocks Bayley off a pod far too early. Bayley inevitably Super-Bayley-plexes Sasha off the top and then Alexa eliminates Bayley for funsies with a random pin. Alexa inevitably executes about two moves or so on Sasha and wins after a super DDT after being shoved face first into a pod – because if you’ve noticed anything in women’s wrestling, you know that you just shove them face first into a turnbuckle pad and you’ll win almost 100 % of the time.

God, this match wasn’t even any good until all of Absolution was gone, and even then, the rest was predictable as fuck. Idiots chanted “You deserve it” at Alexa because apparently when you perform four maneuvers to retain a title you haven’t defended since October to make sure you go into WrestleMania as the champion – well, apparently that means you deserve it. Even though you’ve legit forgot you’re the champion, as have many others. I’m going to laugh hysterically at all the sad little Alexa Bliss fans when Nia Jax pins her ass at Mania because they’re going to cry like bitches. WWE has made their bed and now they have to lie in it. I can’t wait for Vince to just retire or die so we can’t end up with women who suck at their jobs so badly as champion just because they’re blonde – because that’s legit the only reason Alexa is the champion. She isn’t talented. She can’t wrestle. She can talk, sure – but who gives a fuck about that when you can’t go in the ring at all?

This is how you know the women’s revolution is a sham. They give the women rumbles and chambers, but when it comes down to who is in the big important title matches at Mania – it’s always the ones who suck but are there because of nepotism – like Charlotte, like Nia, like Alexa. Asuka somehow gets to be there too, but there’s an exception to every rule. She’s the only one who deserves to be in a title match.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax isn’t worthy of a WrestleMania preshow, much less the main card.
Charlotte vs. Asuka is not something I want to see at all.

Sasha vs. Bayley at Mania will be nice, but it’s not really a good enough consolation prize to me. Bayley doesn’t have credibility.

You fucked up, WWE. Why you intentionally bypass legitimately good rivalries and matches – ones that everyone wants to see – and decide to put on a Raw Women’s Title match that will literally make you a laughing stock to anyone who actually cares about wrestling, I’ll never know. Why do you choose crap instead of legitimately great matches? DON’T YOU WANT PEOPLE TO TALK POSITIVELY ABOUT YOUR SHOWS? ISN’T THAT THE GOAL?

Whatever. The main women’s match at Mania will be Sasha vs. Bayley while Nia/Alexa happens on the preshow and everyone will forget it an hour after it happened.

WWE really wants people not to watch WrestleMania at this point. They’re trying really hard.

Anyways, Ronda Rousey! How awful was that promo? LOL. Also Kurt can’t remember WrestleManias. Anyways, still enjoyed Triple H going through a table, but the fact that Stephanie STILL didn’t get any comeuppance is bullshit.

The crowd was shit tonight, btw.

Anyways – the men’s chamber – meh. I mean, Braun eliminating everyone is great, but then he lost to Roman as we knew he would SO WHY DO I FUCKING CARE NOW? Snore.

Anyways, that’s all of my energy that this show is worth. Fuck this company.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

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WWE Elimination Chamber 2018 Final Card and Results

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Elimination Chamber Match
Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. Braun Strowman vs. Elias vs. John Cena vs. The Miz vs. Roman Reigns
My Winner: Braun Strowman or Seth Rollins
Probable Winner: Roman Reigns
Winner: Roman Reigns

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Mickie James vs. Sonya Deville vs. Mandy Rose
My Winner: Sasha Banks
Probable Winner: Alexa Bliss
Winner, and still WWE Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss

Asuka vs. Nia Jax
My Winner: Asuka
Probable Winner: Asuka
Winner: Asuka

Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt
My Winner: Don’t Care
Probable Winner: Matt Hardy
Winner: Matt Hardy

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Bar (c) vs. Titus Worldwide
Winners, and still WWE World Tag Team Champions, The Bar

WWE Elimination Chamber 2018 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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A month ago, I had hope that WrestleMania could actually be good this year. Despite the fact that I would inevitably get another bogus Roman vs. Brock match, the rest of the show could have been really good. But from what I’ve heard about what they want to do at WrestleMania now, I have no hope at all. Literally the only good match that will be on the show is the AJ vs. Shinsuke match we already know is happening. They still have time to change that, and all of those changes can be applied by making the right decisions on this show. That being said, this is WWE and we aren’t allowed to have more than one nice thing per show, so it’s not happening.

I’m pretty sure The Bar is going to defend the titles in a pointless match against Titus Worldwide and they’ll retain, but there’s no confirmation that it’s happening yet so just keep that in mind.

Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt

I don’t care.

Prediction: Matt Hardy

Asuka vs. Nia Jax

This is one of the problems/changes I was mentioning. On paper this match is fine. Or, well, it exists. It’s Nia Jax so the match won’t be good. But given what we know WWE wants to do at Mania, this is lose-lose situation. If WWE is dumb enough to go ahead with Alexa vs. Nia and Charlotte vs. Asuka, then there’s nothing good you can do with this match. First off, let’s not pretend that Asuka has any reason to be afraid of Nia Jax considering she’s beaten Nia multiple times and Nia doesn’t improve so there’s no point. So, if Asuka wins and then just decides to go to Smackdown and face Charlotte to play into the wrestling world’s grand delusion that Charlotte is the best female wrestler to ever exist ever and thusly Asuka wants to face her to earn her first title, then Nia gets a title match with Alexa because of why exactly? She LOST. Why should someone who just LOST get a title match at Mania? Also, why would Asuka make her decision of who to face directly after this show? . She would need to wait until after Fast Lane to see who the Smackdown Women’s Champion is. And why should Asuka go to Smackdown when she knows she can easily beat Alexa Bliss in less than 30 seconds? That’s literally a squash match in the making because Alexa will be too afraid to take a bump and lose immediately because she’s got literally nothing she can do against someone who is actually good. Anyways. And then, if Nia wins – you seriously wasted Asuka’s undefeated streak on Nia fucking Jax? Are you that fucking stupid? YOU DON’T WASTE THINGS LIKE THAT ON TALENTLESS TRASH. But, assuming WWE is that fucking dumb, then you’re going to tell me that Asuka is going to go face Charlotte instead of having a triple threat with Alexa and Nia? Why? You think we’re going to believe that the almighty Asuka is going to be afraid of a measly triple threat match with Alexa Bliss, someone who’s too afraid to defend her title to the point that hasn’t since the end of October and won that match with a slap, and Nia Jax who is terrible? Why would take scare her when Asuka has won fatal 4 ways against Nikki Cross, Billie Kay, and Peyton Royce? I mean, those three women are all far superior to both Alexa and Nia so why would a far lesser challenge scare Asuka? Come on now – at least give me something I can believe, because that’s not it. Asuka would wipe the floor with those scrubs in a minute and a half. WWE, don’t be stupid.

Prediction: Asuka

Elimination Chamber Match for the WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Mickie James vs. Sonya Deville vs. Mandy Rose


While I was excited for the women’s rumble, I would like to say I’m excited for the women’s chamber match. But I can’t really say that I am. It’s obviously not that it’s women in a chamber match, it’s that 2 of them don’t belong. Mandy Rose being inside an elimination chamber this early in her career can only be a disaster. Sonya may not be a disaster but she isn’t much better. And if Alexa hadn’t devolved into useless trash and was still moderately believable as a champion – which she hasn’t been since Kendo Stick on a pole – she might be believable. But, again, she’s afraid to defend her title, wins matches with slaps, hasn’t improved any, and has been basically been a dumpster fire since May of last year. But what can you do? Even Mickie, someone who we know is good in the ring, has been doing fuck all since her move to Raw. And Bayley was the victim of Kendo Stick on a pole and This is Your Life, and she hasn’t been salvaged since then – still, most realize how good in the ring she is, regardless of her character and what WWE has done to her. It’s only Sasha who looks like a legit threat – and even she is in a desperate need of a heel turn. (Thankfully that’s going to happen quite soon. It basically has to now.)

There are literally only two winners here. If Alexa doesn’t retain, Sasha wins. Bayley would be the only dark horse but let’s be real – that’s not happening. And I’ve been deadset on Alexa retaining since two weeks ago when i read their plans for Mania. The only reason I thought that it wouldn’t happen was how Raw ended. This match now seems like there are three sets of two teams involved. Sasha/Bayley, Absolution, and Alexa/Mickie. My only thought now is that – is Mickie really on Alexa’s side or did she just help her on Raw, and will help her in the chamber until a certain point. But when does that come to pass? If it comes down to Alexa, Mickie, and Sasha, then I could see Mickie turning on Alexa costing Alexa the match. But if it happens earlier on with more competitors still involved, then it will happen, but before we get Mickie pinning Alexa, Absolution will probably ruin it and nothing will really change.

There are only two courses of action that can be taken after this match.

1. WWE decides to do the smart thing and has Sasha win so she and Asuka can have a classic match at WrestleMania. A title match worthy of the big stage. One that we’ll be talking about for years. They already had an amazing match on Raw – this one will be better. This is the match people WANT to see. Nobody – literally nobody – wants to see Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax. (Except for irrational Alexa fans who are under the delusion that this is a “dream match,” proving that they don’t know the definition of dream match. I would say Nia Jax fans want it, but Nia Jax doesn’t have fans. Rational Alexa Bliss fans know Nia Jax is trash and would rather Alexa lose the title for the sake of having an actual good match as opposed to a match that will undoubtedly suck and you can’t be sure Nia won’t kill Alexa in the process like she almost killed Charlotte.) How WWE ever came to the conclusion that even one person would rather see Alexa vs. Nia instead of Sasha vs. Asuka is beyond me – but that’s how WWE gets you. They make you think they care about women’s wrestling by giving them Rumbles and Chambers, but when it comes down to it, they still so transparently don’t care at all because they choose Alexa, Charlotte, and Nia to be in the big title matches at Mania – women ranging in talent levels from mediocre at best to absolute trash – over women that are absolutely exceptional like Sasha and Becky and Bayley – with the exception being Asuka, of course, who will make Charlotte look like the chump that she is. There’s such a vast divide between the likes of the women WWE likes to push and the women WWE should be pushing in terms of talent,  but somehow in the age where WWE wants you to believe that they care about their women and that they will treat them as they should be – as in, the best of the best are at the top – the only women that still matter to them are ones that are blonde and/or are tall and/or have a relative in the business. How pathetic. If this is the route they go, I expect Sasha to go on to turn heel during her match with Asuka and retain the title, breaking the streak. The only reason I think it has some chance of happening is that Sasha was seen watching her match with Asuka back saying that “she knows how to beat her now” and there’s no point of her doing that if Asuka is just going to get up and go to Smackdown – that and the end of Raw.

2. The other course of action – the stupid one – is where Alexa retains and for some reason faces Nia even though Nia lost to Asuka, so why? Anyways – if that happens, I expect Bayley to eliminate Sasha somewhere in this match, and then Sasha will turn heel on her the next night, and then ultimately WWE will have to give us Sasha vs. Bayley at Mania. So while Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax are having their meaningless match on the preshow, Sasha and Bayley will give us the classic match we know they will and show those other two how the pros do it. Now I’d still much rather have Sasha vs. Asuka but I will accept a Sasha/Bayley match so that Sasha is still in a meaningful match at Mania – one that will have more meaning than either women’s title match that would end up happening – and also Sasha would ultimately have to win this time because she hasn’t beaten Bayley in ages. And she needs a Mania win – that fact that she didn’t win at 32 or 33 is criminal. Of course, I would have liked it a lot more if Bayley hadn’t been buried and she had the credibility her character came with when she first came to the main roster when we finally got Sasha vs. Bayley at Mania, but most of us know what to expect from this match when we hear it that we can look past that, at least a little bit.

Don’t be stupid, WWE.

Prediction: Alexa Bliss

Elimination Chamber Match
Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman vs. Finn Balor vs. Elias vs. Roman Reigns vs. John Cena vs. The Miz


Well this should be fun. I’m glad I didn’t have to pick between Seth and Finn to be in this match. And holy shit Seth beat Roman and Cena in one night! But when it comes down to it – we all know Roman is winning. As much as Braun or Seth would be a better choice, It’s going to be Roman.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

Review Sunday as always

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

WWE WrestleMania 34 Fantasy Card

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Edited version to be more realistic:

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman

WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Sasha Banks (c) vs. Asuka
(Sasha turns heel and wins)

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Becky Lynch

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon vs. Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey

Seth Rollins vs. Jason Jordan

WWE U.S. Championship
Rusev (c) vs. Chad Gable

The Revival vs. The New Day

WWE Smackdown World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Usos (c) vs. The Bludgeon Brothers

Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor

John Cena vs. Elias

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Tye Dillinger

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Hideo Itami

WWE Royal Rumble 2018 Review, Comments, Etc.

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What is this? I’m….happy…after a Royal Rumble. What is this? I haven’t felt this feeling after a Rumble since….um…..uh…….2010. Maybe 2011 – I didn’t hate Del Bitchbag yet in 2011. But I didn’t want him to win in specific, so the fact that this year they got not one but TWO rumble winners correct, I am quite flabbergasted. Now, there were some weird moments and some disappointing parts of the show, but all in all, they got the Rumble winners right and didn’t fuck anything else up really, so I can’t complain. Nothing on this show was the quality of Almas/Gargano, but this is probably the first show that followed a Takeover that wasn’t a failure overall. So all in all, a good weekend for WWE.

The first match, surprisingly, was A.J. Styles defending the WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn in a fairly fun handicap match. It was about what you’d expect from this match. Styles inevitably got a pinfall on Owens when he wasn’t legal, so I was expecting Bryan to come out to restart the match – to lead to more nonsense where the nonlegal man pinned A.J. and Shane restarted to do it again. But, nothing. This storyline will very likely continue, but we got nothing more to this match in specific on this show.

Rating: ***

Next was the Usos defending and retaining the WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship against Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable in a really good 2 out of 3 Falls match. The opening fall was basically the meat of the match with a lot of the fast paced action you’d expect from them, until the Usos took the first fall. And once that happened, it seemed like Benjamin and Gable would tie the match up as they seemed to have a strategy – but the Uso that was in the ring quickly rolled up Shelton for the three count before Gable could break it up and won the match at two straight falls. It was a little weird – I’m happy the Usos retained but the finish was odd.

Rating: ***1/2

Next was the men’s Royal Rumble Match. I was quite pleased to find that the women main evented because their Rumble definitely seemed more properly built up. I enjoyed this match a lot – I liked that Finn was in it for a long time. I was pleased to see Andrade and Adam Cole in the match, and I guess Rey coming back was cool even though Johnny freaking Mundo is way cooler. I was able to call Elias’s entrance. I enjoyed that the match came down to Finn and Shinsuke vs. Roman vs. Cena Orton and Rey in a way. It seemed like a few eras against each other. And then it came down to Finn and Shinsuke vs. Cena and Reigns which was also fun. And Shinsuke won!! I can’t believe it. I didn’t trust them to do it at all and they did the right thing. I know we’re obviously getting Roman vs. Brock no matter what but A.J. vs. Shinsuke is our gift for eating some crap.

Rating: ***1/2

The Bar defeated Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan – three fourths of which had been in the Rumble – to win the WWE World Tag Team Championship. Jordan got taken out and did the A.J. Lee spot from A.J. and Paige vs. the Bellas at Mania 31 where you just spend most of the match down on the outside before coming in. Although, unlike A.J. Lee, Jason Jordan is completely useless and came back in, couldn’t do it, tagged out and left so Rollins could lose.

Rating: **1/2

Brock Lesnar retained the Universal Championship against Braun Strowman and Kane in the exact match you expected them to have, only worse.

Rating: *

And finally, the women’s Rumble match. It was quite fun, outside of Stephanie on commentary. Sasha and Becky started, which was a good idea. We got a ton of legends in this match – basically all of the ones that were on Raw 25 plus Lita and Molly Holly and Beth Phoenix. I was pleased to see Kairi Sane and Ember Moon. My only legit disappointment was no Iconic Duo and I’m really pissed Kelly Kelly was in it. I’d complain about the Bellas, but….you can’t really do anything about that. They didn’t win so it’s fine. I’m not even mad they eliminated Sasha – they kind of had to at that point. When it comes down to it – Sasha was #1, lasted longest, got to face her heroes, eliminated Trish, and proved that she’s the GOAT yet again. Oh and she eliminated Bayley. I’m a bit surprised they didn’t do something with Trish and Lita, though. You’d think they would since both were in the match. And Asuka won so all is good.

Rating: ***1/2

And then Ronda Rousey did indeed show up, but thankfully she didn’t win the Rumble. I’m really not pleased that Ronda is going to be a thing in WWE – but I do appreciate that she basically went straight past the scrubs WWE calls champions and went straight for the real talent in Asuka.

Overall, the show was a lot of fun and I’m pleased with the winners. I just wish there was no Ronda and Braun keeps getting screwed.

Overall Grade: B+

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

WWE Royal Rumble 2018 Final Card and Results

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Royal Rumble Match
Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Bayley vs. Asuka vs. Ruby Riott vs. Sarah Logan vs. Liv Morgan vs. Naomi vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Nia Jax vs. Tamina vs. Natalya vs. Lana vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke vs. Molly Holly vs. Ember Moon vs. Lita vs. Trish Stratus vs. Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella vs. Jacqueline vs. Vickie Guerrero vs. Kairi Sane
My Winner: Sasha Banks or Becky Lynch or Asuka
Probable Winner: Asuka or Ronda Rousey
Winner: Asuka

Royal Rumble Match
John Cena vs. Finn Balor vs. Randy Orton vs. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Elias vs. Rusev vs. Aiden English vs. The Miz vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy vs. Apollo Crews vs. Titus O’Neill vs. Baron Corbin vs. Xavier Woods vs. Big E vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Rhyno vs. Heath Slater vs. Andrade Cien Almas vs. Adam Cole vs. Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro vs. The Hurricane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Goldust vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns
My Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura or Finn Balor
Probable Winner: Roman Reigns or Shinsuke Nakamura
Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane
My Winner: Braun Strowman
Probable Winner: Brock Lesnar
Winner, and still WWE Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar

Handicap Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
My Winner: A.J. Styles
Probable Winner: A.J. Styles
Winner, and still WWE World Heavyweight Champion, A.J. Styles

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan (c) vs. The Bar
My Winners: The Bar
Probable Winners: The Bar
Winners, and new WWE World Tag Team Championa, The Bar

Two out of Three Falls Match for the WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Usos (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable
My Winners: The Usos
Probable Winners: The Usos
Winners, and still WWE Blue World Tag Team Champions, The Usos

NXT Takeover: Philadelphia Review, Comments, Etc.

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Well, that was yet another great show. I’m sure no one is surprised. Although, it’s not without its share of disappointments – but it’s only results, not quality.

The Undisputed Era retained the NXT World Tag Team Championship in a fairly good match against the Authors of Pain. It was better than expected – TUE were actually fairly dominant for a while before AOP got going, until they got caught by a rollup win. It was good, and it gets AOP out of the title hunt which is good.

Velveteen Dream defeated Kassius Ohno in a fun match. Dream is just the best – I love everything about the beginning of the match. And even though there was a little sloppiness, it didn’t take away from the match and thankfully Dream won.

Ember Moon retained the NXT Women’s Championship against Shayna Baszler, surprisingly. The match was very similar to Bayley vs. Nia Jax from Takeover London in structure. Baszler dominated but Ember got the win when it looked like all was lost. And honestly I don’t think it was the right decision – I think Ember should have lost and moved up. There’s really nothing left for her in NXT.

Adam Cole vs. Aleister Black had a great Extreme Rules match. This and the next match I’m just going to recommend people go watch to see how good they were because words are not enough. For some reason I thought Cole would win, but I guess not – that being said, Black is basically number one contender now.

And finally, Andrade Cien Almas defeated Johnny Gargano to retain the NXT Championship in an insane match. It’s the match of the year so far. I’d be lying though if I said I wasn’t sad Gargano didn’t win, though. I love ACA, but still. Thank God Ciampa came out at the end, because if he hadn’t I’d have been legit mad about it. But go watch this match right now.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

NXT Takeover: Philadelphia Final Card and Results

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NXT World Heavyweight Championship
Andrade Cien Almas (c) vs. Johnny Gargano
My Winner: Either, but Johnny Gargano
Probable Winner: Johnny Gargano
Winner, and still NXT World Heavyweight Champion, Andrade Cien Almas

NXT Women’s Championship
Ember Moon (c) vs. Shayna Baszler
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Shayna Baszler
Winner, and still NXT Women’s Champion, Ember Moon

Extreme Rules Match
Adam Cole vs. Aleister Black
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Adam Cole
Winner: Aleister Black

NXT World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Undisputed Era (c) vs. The Authors of Pain
My Winners: The Undisputed Era
Probable Winners: The Undisputed Era
Winners, and still NXT World Tag Team Champions, The Undisputed Era

Velveteen Dream vs. Kassius Ohno
My Winner: Velveteen Dream
Probable Winner: Velveteen Dream
Winner: Velveteen Dream

WWE Royal Rumble 2018 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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I feel like I’m about to have a lot more to say that I normally do for predictions posts these days, so let’s get right to it.

Two out of Three Falls Match for the WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Usos (c) vs. Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin


This match is going to be insane. The Usos track record speaks for itself and Chad Gable is insane – and Shelton’s no scrub either. And two out of three falls – damn. I don’t feel like there’s a good reason to take the belts off the Usos anytime soon.

Prediction: The Usos

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan (c) vs. The Bar


I can’t stand the fact that Seth Rollins is being forced to carry around this weight on his back. How ironic is it that I’m actually hoping for Sheamus and Cesaro – a team formed despite being rivals that I never wanted to exist – to win the titles from Rollins and Jordan – a team formed despite being rivals that I don’t want to exist? Like, Rollins and Jordan is to Angle as Sheamus and Cesaro is to Mick Foley. But at least Rollins FINALLY has the Curb Stomp back – and hopefully they’ll lose so he can curb stomp the fuck out of Jordan.

Prediction: The Bar

Handicap Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn


So first things first – A.J. is retaining. The match will be good. Now can we just get this Shane/Bryan shit done with? Because it’s getting old. Someone Shane McMahon is acting like the biggest heel with the world’s biggest vendetta against Owens and Zayn because….why exactly? They cost Smackdown a completely meaningless tag team match on Survivor Series? Fuck that. And now he’s basically trying to make Daniel Bryan look like the bad guy when all Bryan is doing is trying to unfuck everything Shane is fucking up. GOOD GOD. They can’t keep going down this path if Bryan isn’t going to be cleared to wrestle. END THIS.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane


Braun isn’t going to win so literally NO ONE CARES.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Men’s Royal Rumble Match
Significant Participants: Roman Reigns, John Cena, Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura, Finn Balor


This feels like the least built Rumble match ever. It feels like no one’s in it. There are only 17 people announced and like, four that have a chance. The betting odds are weird as fuck. Daniel Bryan has the third highest odds and he won’t even be in it. Dolph Ziggler has the fourth best odds and he hasn’t a shot in hell in winning. The rightful winner is, of course, Shinsuke Nakamura, but I don’t trust WWE to be that smart. I don’t trust WWE to be smart enough to get both rumble winners right. I don’t trust WWE not to be racist because I just envision them being “WHAT? SHINSUKE AND ASUKA? No way we can give them both to non-American talents.” Yea. Seems like a Vince thought process to me, as awful as it is. I hate to settle on the safe bet, but I feel like I have to go with it – although I hope they do the right thing and give it to Shinsuke. That said, I hope the match is actually fun and there are real surprises unlike last year.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

Women’s Royal Rumble Match
Significant Participants: Asuka, Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Bayley


I have A LOT of things to get off my chest here.

  1. Why the hell is Stephanie McMahon on commentary? AWFUL. Just so she can surprise us and be in it.
  2. No Ronda Rousey. We don’t need her, we don’t want her. Disrespectful to even think that this revolution thingy is being built by the women in the company and yet you want to bring in a random UFC fighter to win this? Grow up.
  3. The obvious victor is Asuka. BUT, considering she already beat Alexa’s bitch ass a few weeks ago, I’m wondering if Alexa’s useless ass might find her way into the ring and cost Asuka the match. I know that sounds crazy considering Alexa is afraid to do anything in the ring these days – she’s had one match since Survivor Series guys. (And it was a bad match. With Asuka. ALEXA BLISS MADE THE GREAT ASUKA HAVE A BAD MATCH. Release her.)
  4. If Asuka were to be taken out by Alexa’s waste of space ass, she’ll just win the title in the first women’s Elimination Chamber match and then Alexa’s irrelevant ass will find herself NOT even in the Raw Women’s Title match at Mania because that means we’ll get Sasha vs. Asuka and all will be right in the world.
  5. Speaking of the Raw Women’s Championship, have you seen that thing? I haven’t seen it in months. It’s like at SummerSlam, we finally saw that title again and then it was around for a week, and then a week later it fell into a dumpster that was on fire again.
  6. That being said, I haven’t seen the Smackdown Women’s Championship since like…………….TLC 2016? Becky Lynch won it….and then it just disappeared and was never seen again. Can we get that on a milk bottle?
  7. I got this feeling that WWE is going to do the right thing and give us Sasha vs. Asuka but to have that greatness we might have to have a repeat of the ultimate dumpster fire match of Alexa vs. Charlotte too, so we might have to accept some trash to get what we want.
  8. As far as surprises go, I sincerely hope we get some Ember Moon and even moreso, some Iconic Duo. Other surprises I would greatly enjoy are Toni Storm, Dakota Kai, Santana Garrett, or somehow Taya. Because I know I won’t get any A.J. Lee.
  9. For the love of God, NO KELLY KELLY. And no Bella Twins, but if I have to stomach the Bellas so there’s no Kelly, fine. It would be extremely disrespectful to have Kelly in this match – it was disrespectful enough to the current women that she was on Raw this week. Remember, Kelly Kelly went on live radio and said that the current women are NOT stars and that the women who had piss break matches WERE STARS. SHE IS FUCKING DELUSIONAL.
  10. I sincerely hope, even though I know it’s not, that the Paige injury is a work and that it’s all been a ruse so she can end up being #30 and win. I know that’s not real and it’s just me hoping, but I really don’t want her career to be over and I really want more to rub in the face of the insane fucktards who are blaming Sasha for Paige getting injured again when Paige was clearly a ticking time bomb. And yet they dare accost Sasha the Great. In the meantime, here’s to hoping Sasha comes to the ring and turns heel by saying she killed Paige’s career and then promptly break Alexa’s ass because really – the only reason people even like talentless Alexa is because of her overrated ass.
  11. WHY DOES CHARLOTTE HAVE BETTING ODDS TO WIN WHEN SHE CAN’T POSSIBLY BE IN THIS MATCH BECAUSE SHE’S A CHAMPION?? FFS.
  12. GO AWAY NATALYA NO ONE LIKES YOU.
  13. Fun surprises, please.

Prediction: Asuka

Anyways, that was fun.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

NXT Takeover: Philadelphia Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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A big four PPV means that the real show is the night before. This show is going to be amazing.

Velveteen Dream vs. Kassius Ohno

Excuse the self-made graphic. Anyways, this match was just kind of thrown together, so it doesn’t have much story besides Dream saying he can beat Ohno easily. And hopefully he does because Dream is awesome and I give no fucks about Kassius.

Prediction: Velveteen Dream

NXT World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Undisputed Era (c) vs. The Authors of Pain


I think it’s time we finally get AOP out of the title picture and I’m pretty sure the Undisputed Era will find a way to win.

Prediction: The Undisputed Era

Extreme Rules Match
Aleister Black vs. Adam Cole


This match should be great. I feel like since we’re past Aleister’s first loss that we’re going to see another one here.

Prediction: Adam Cole

NXT Women’s Championship
Ember Moon (c) vs. Shayna Baszler


Given how quickly Shayna has found herself in a title match, I can’t imagine her losing. Ember may have just won the title two months ago, but she seems more likely to be main roster/Rumble bound the day after this. It seems like the title win felt more like a show of thanks from NXT before whisking her on her way right up after Asuka.

Prediction: Shayna Baszler

NXT World Heavyweight Championship
Andrade Cien Almas (c) vs. Johnny Gargano


This match is going to be amazing. They’ve already had two great matches as it is. And while this is Andrade’s first title match – I don’t think there’s a point to this story unless Gargano finally beats him and thus become champion. (And so Ciampa can come back and beat him for it!)

Prediction: Johnny Gargano

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-