WWE No Mercy 2017 Final Card and Results

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WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman
My Winner: Braun Strowman
Probable Winner: Brock Lesnar
Winner, and still WWE Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar

Roman Reigns vs. John Cena
My Winner: Meh
Probable Winner: Roman Reigns
Winner: Roman Reigns

Fatal 5 Way for the WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Emma vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax
My Winner: Sasha Banks or Emma
Probable Winner: Alexa Bliss
Winner, and still WWE Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (c) vs. Sheamus and Cesaro
My Winners: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
Probable Winners: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
Winners, and still WWE World Tag Team Champions, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt
My Winner: Finn Balor
Probable Winner: Finn Balor
Winner: Finn Balor

WWE Intercontinental Championahip
The Miz (c) vs. Jason Jordan
My Winner: The Miz
Probable Winner: The Miz
Winner, and still WWE Intercontinental Champion, The Miz

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs. Enzo Amore
My Winner: Neville
Probable Winner: Neville
Winner, and new WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Enzo Amore

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Wrestling PSA 9/20/17: Stupid Stalker Fans

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It’s really sad that this entire post needs to be done, but it seems to be becoming a thing now. We’re getting people in the business talking about it now – not just fans.

So, we all love wrestling, right? Well, I’m assuming you’re a wrestling fan if you’re reading this because if you aren’t…well read on if you want, I suppose. I’m not going to stop you from reading. So, naturally, we all have an appreciation for the people who are on our tvs entertaining us, right? Right. I mean, even if we aren’t particularly fans of them, we respect them to a point for getting in the ring and putting their bodies on the line each week, several times a week, and so on. (Well, assuming they aren’t garbage humans, anyway.)

Still, we all have our favorites, and we’d love to meet them. Or, if we just happen upon one of them, it’s still cool to meet them given the opportunity.

Now, as long as we’re all respectful of their personal space and their time and so on, that’s cool.

But, unfortunately, with the age of the internet and just idiot fans in general, there now comes along this sect of fans that go far beyond the realm of respectability. We now have fans who look up where wrestlers stay while they’re in town and also looking up their flight information and just happening to be at the places these wrestlers are. They’re there just for autographs and pictures that they just want to sell on eBay.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the real world, this is called STALKING.

There is no other word to describe it. You are all stalkers.

And then, when the wrestlers are rude to them, they act indignant. They act like they, the STALKERS, were wronged.

NEWS FLASH

You.Are.Stalkers.

When you are the one doing the wronging, you can NOT be wronged.

You are why we, as wrestling fans, are looked down upon. You make us look like the trailer trash stereotypes most people have of wrestling fans.

Do NOT go to their hotels. Do NOT go to the airport. If you happen upon them at random, THAT is fine. But do NOT go looking for their information.

If you go to a hotel that you know wrestlers stay at, you are stalking. It doesn’t matter if you know there are any wrestlers there or not, you are stalking. You should be in jail.

If some of the wrestlers are nice, that’s cool. But you have literally zero right to be mad if they treat you like the assholes that you are. I have zero sympathy for your sorry asses.

At this point you’re barely wrestling fans anymore. You are garbage fans.

If you are wrestling fans like you claim to be, you would have respect for the wrestlers and leave them be. If you’re old enough to figure out where they’ll be, you’re old enough to know better than to actually do it.

Now, this seems to be centering around Sasha Banks these days because she’s really one of the first to step up and put the fans in their proper place for doing this. It was really only CM Punk before her that it was fairly well known that he didn’t like fans doing this kind of shit like him – and yea there were entitled fans bitching about it – but there were never any people in the actual business talking about him. It’s only now that it’s happening with Sasha that people like Shane Douglas and apparently Bubba Dudley, Jerry Lawler, and Chris Masters are talking about her and calling her out on it – literally victim blaming her for not accepting stalkers stalking her as any normal person would do.

You know, four random guys who wouldn’t have fans stalking them to airports because no one gives that much of a fuck about them these days, so how would they know how this feels? (Granted Masters and Douglas never had any fans to begin with so what would they know about anything?)

Just four nobodies trying to stay relevant by attaching themselves to Sasha by defending stalking.

Seth Rollins has spoken against it too, so let’s give fair credit where due.

If you were Sasha Banks, and you had just gotten to your hotel after having yet another competitive match and there were fans waiting there for you, would you be all overjoyed or would you be annoyed because you just got back to the place where that’s your home for the night and now it’s time to relax? You’d be the latter. Don’t lie to me and say the former.

You all really need to put yourself in that position because you absolutely wouldn’t want people stalking you at your hotel and especially at the airport. You don’t know these fans. You don’t know what they might do. Some might be well-intentioned, but some might attack them. A lot of people in the world are assholes, and clearly a LOT of people do not understand the word no. Look at all the people who get pissed off when they stalk them and are told no.

Like, people are literally stalking Sasha to hotels, then getting mad when she doesn’t want to for obvious reasons, stick around and then try to fight her husband when he comes back out later.

Some people are taking photos with Alexa while she doesn’t have makeup on, then posting it online and asking if people still love her now that they’ve seen her without makeup.

Some people just want the autographs to sell on eBay. Some people just want to look cool on Twitter for being with a famous person.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re stalking them or not, you are not entitled to an autograph or a picture. You are not entitled to any moment of their time. And if you did stalk them, you are certainly not entitled to a polite no. Because there are silly people who think they’re even entitled to a polite no when they do this.

I don’t care who you are. If you did this, and Sasha steps on your dumbass flag, as a friend of mine said reportedly happened to one of his other friends, it’s too bad she didn’t take it from you and set it on fire. If she “hair flipped” a kid as the same friend of mine said reportedly happened (now with a personal bias so it’s left for objective people to judge whether this actually happened in the way he reports because literally anything he says about Sasha now is biased and not to be taken seriously) – it’s too damn bad she didn’t hair flip them so hard that the kids flew into a wall. Kids are extensions of their parents, and while the kids didn’t necessarily do anything wrong themselves, it’s best they learn young from their parents’ mistake that this is garbage human behavior.

If you so desperately want to meet them, go to conventions. Or hope you RANDOMLY run into them. And if you do, be respectful. If they oblige, cool. If they don’t, move on.

You aren’t entitled to anything. And don’t give me that bullshit that you pay their salaries. You DO not. You pay WWE for a chance to watch them entertain you. They are paid by WWE. WWE pays them for their talents. The thought that you pay their salaries because you’re under the delusion that they wouldn’t be on our screens without us is comical because since when has WWE given a shit about who we, the fans, actually like and also disrespects all of the hard work the wrestlers do to get to where they are today – lest you forget that the fan support we give them is a reaction to their talent and ability and skill that they’ve taken years to acquire – We are not why they’re where they are, they are why we are their fans. Anyone who thinks otherwise has it backwards.

So, we’ve reached the end of this. Hopefully this leaves you knowing better. Don’t be a garbage fan. And if somehow you think this is still okay, well then you’re far too delusional to ever reach. Hopefully you end up in jail sometime quite soon. And, well, maybe you think I’m an asshole, but I’m not wrong.

WWE No Mercy 2017 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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Well it kind of feels like forever since there’s been a PPV, even though it’s only been a month. And, to be fair, the card for this looks decent, but I just don’t really care about anything in WWE at the moment. In a general sense, everything sucks, and even if there’s some good stuff going on, I have no investment.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs. Enzo Amore


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Prediction: Neville

WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Jason Jordan


I’m sure this match will be fine but really, who cares? Is anyone going to actually get behind Jason Jordan as Kurt Angle’s son? He’s not a bad wrestler, but this storyline is stupid and the fucked up thing is that they’re playing a bogus nepotism story with him when we know it’s faked all the while actual cases of nepotism like Charlotte and Roman are running rampant.

Prediction: The Miz

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Are we really doing a “I bet you can’t beat me without body paint on!” story??

Prediction: Finn Balor

WWE Raw World Tag Team Championship
(c) Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (c) vs. Sheamus and Cesaro


Well the SummerSlam match was really good, despite the idiots with beach balls, so I’m sure this will be the same.

Prediction: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

Fatal 5 Way for the WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Emma vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax


Well, WWE has gone and fucked up again. Even when you finally think they figured out their shit, they went back to it. Apparently it wasn’t just a Charlotte’s PPV Streak!!! ZOMG! thing. It’s a WWE is even dumber than we all thought thing. If Sasha is going to win the title and lose it back eight days later, DON’T HAVE HER WIN IT AT ALL. DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND BASIC LOGIC? All you did was give actual wrestling fans hope that you were going to give the title to the best person in the entire division. But instead you have her lose it back and immediately have Nia Jax attack Alexa so now Sasha gets to play third fiddle to two much lesser talents. And then you throw Emma into it for reasons – and don’t get me wrong, FINALLY – but kayfabe-wise what has Emma done to deserve this title shot? Come back, lose, change her theme twice to worse themes, win once, and now we’re here? Going to have to do better than that for me – even though Emma is easily the second best performer in this match behind Sasha – and let’s be truthful, she did start the women’s revolution! And Bayley – well, I love you Bayley, but coming back and just inserting yourself into a title match – no thanks. Sigh – you know you’ve pushed someone too hard too fast when I’m annoyed by an actually good talent, but calm the fuck down with Alexa Bliss already. I mean, I like her – she’s good, there’s absolutely no denying that. But she’s only JUST good, and there’s no denying that. She’s been on the main roster for somewhere around 450 days or so and has been champion for 220 of them. This is Charlotte levels of bullshit – and she’s better than Charlotte, but still – she’s not good enough to be champion for as long as she has been. Fuck, when Nia attacked her I thought that meant a face turn and that would basically be the end of Alexa because for those of us who’ve seen her as a face – lord is she bad. But she’s come to the main roster based off of huge reactions due to her facial expressions, moderate in-ring ability, and basically trying to be an A.J. Lee ripoff which, I mean, I’ll always get behind, but she’s not quite there. (Oh, and don’t forget the asshole dudebro fans who like her because her butt makes their penis happy (Actual text someone I sat next to at an NXT show got about Alexa)). But this overpush has actually made people believe Alexa is THAT good. They actually THINK Alexa is the best. Kayfabe is real for a lot of people, sadly. Can’t actually look at things objectively. I guess we’ll call it the Charlotte effect because the worst thing the overpush of Charlotte did was actually make A LOT of people have the delusion that Charlotte is some kind of god when she’s literally the second worst female performer in the company that’s actively competing. And now it’s happening with Alexa – someone who’s good but objectively she’s in the middle to upper-mid level of female talent that they have. Objectively she’s a B. But now we have delusional fanboys who think she’s some kind of god when literally everyone that’s not Nia Jax in this match is miles better than her and it’s not even remotely close. For example, people think Alexa somehow outperformed Sasha in the SummerSlam match even though that match was set up for the heel to dominate and the face to come back – it literally had nothing to do with her. But I guess it’s still real to them, somehow. Sasha is literally everyone in the division’s best match and that’s not a coincidence. Emma is everything Alexa is and so much more. Bayley is far better at what she does than Alexa. And Nia is pure trash. I fucking dare you to make the right decision, WWE – and I dare you to actually run with it. Until you do that, your revolution is nothing more than a joke because you can’t put the title on the one that deserves it more than anyone on the roster and keep it on her at the same time.

Prediction: Alexa Bliss

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Am I supposed to care about this? Am I supposed to be happy this isn’t happening at Mania? I don’t know – you tell me, WWE – tell me how I’m supposed to feel about this match like you’ve been trying to tell me how I feel about both John Cena and Roman Reigns for years now.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman


I really want Braun to win but it’s just not going to happen.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Anyways, review Sunday as always.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

The Story of the Women’s Revolution: A Metaphor

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So, it begins with A.J. Lee. She took over from a moron who had the state of the women’s division in the worst it had ever been, at least in modern times, Kelly Kelly. A.J. was the best in the world during her time period in the company and of my lifetime. She accomplished as much as she could, became incredibly popular, nobody could touch her no matter how much people tried to fuck it up for her. A lot of people did try to fuck it up for her, but she was the best, and she left on her own terms, and she will always be remembered as one of the best of all time. She started the ball rolling for change in an otherwise stagnant division – she didn’t really change much herself because there were too many forces trying to fuck with her to really get anything done that’d be lasting. She was the one who showed that change was possible, and her fans would stop at nothing to make sure that permanent change in the division would happen – it might just take time.

Now, during A.J.’s reign on top, there were also the Bellas. The Bellas have always kinda just been around but no one really paid attention to them because they were a joke, and then they got this reality show where they got to display how much of a joke they were to an even larger audience than to the niche audience they were already a joke too, and now around the time of the reality show they started to be that much of a joke and started to try to fuck over A.J. as much they could – they really can’t no matter what they do but they will always try because they hate her for telling the truth and making them look like the jokes that they are. They were jealous as fuck of how good A.J. was, and they would stop at nothing to try to overshadow her.

Unfortunately, the company decided to get behind the Bellas as A.J. was leaving, and sent them on a reign of terror. Everyone hated them. Nikki won the title and held it for way too long. It started out awful, and the longer it went, the more painful it became. Everyone was just dreading everyday that they were living under the Bella reign of terror – because they just didn’t know when the time was going to come where they just keeled over and died because of one of the many facets of this reign of terror was finally the one that killed them. But, unfortunately, the Bellas were the puppets the company was hell bent on using to erase all of the good that A.J. did, even though that’s impossible because all of us intelligent fans know what was actually going on, why the Bellas were on top, and would know better than to ever forget A.J. because A.J. was far too good to just be erased from history no matter how much the company desperately tried. The fans would remember A.J. even more fondly with each act of the company trying to make them forget her. They would see the company’s spite at someone coming in and being as awesome as they were and then leaving when she’d done all she could do on her own terms and knew that there was nothing left that she could do without more rallying around her.

Now, most people hated the Bellas – all of the sane people do. Most of them see them for being awful trash. But then there’s the Bella Army. The Belly Army is obviously their fans – most of them are psychopaths who are just as awful as they are. Sure, there’s a few sane ones here and there who just like them because of something that kind of makes sense to them even though they know there’s a number of things wrong with them. Some are just fans from the reality show and don’t really care what they actually are doing, there just tuning in to see them be them. But most of them are psychos that, if you say one thing bad about them online, they will attack you online to no end. And then when you block them, they say “*Smug laugh* A.J. fans! LOL.” They keep talking about that one awesome promo that A.J. did even though it’s been years and they are STILL salty about it to this day, even though A.J.’s gone. All of them think that the Bellas did such a great job and how they “improved” even though they didn’t improve that much at all. They believe that everything the Bellas do are great and it’s SO MUCH BETTER than anything A.J. ever did even though that’s objectively false. What A.J. did was objectively good, and most people realize that the Bellas were objectively bad. They keep comparing the Bellas to the greats of the wrestling industry as if they have any place to do that – they clearly have no respect for the business. They didn’t realize that their beloved were always one step away from killing almost everyone’s passion for wrestling.

Now, back within the actual business, there were people fighting the Bellas.

One of them was Paige. Paige was the best woman for the job – the one that should have been on top instead of the Bellas. She fought and she fought, but she just couldn’t topple them because the Bellas and the company cheated her over and over again. But she never really stood a chance because of forces outside of her control – forces that should’ve never been involved in this to begin with.

There was also Emma, who at the beginning of this was kind of made to look like a joke, but a lot of people started to become fans of hers because she was actually really damn good and is still one of the better options for the future of the company.

Also, there were a bunch of other women who were around during the reign of terror that refused to help Paige fight the evil Bellas. I guess maybe they didn’t like Paige or maybe they were just disenfranchised with the state of the company but really they were just idiots because if you’re not fighting alongside Paige, you’re fighting for the Bellas.

But eventually the evil Bellas were taken down. They were taken down by four forces joined together.

There was Charlotte. Charlotte was someone you’d probably expect to be on the Bellas side because they kind of stand for some of the same stuff, but I guess Charlotte wasn’t cool with all of it. She decided to join up with the other three so that when the Bellas were gone, she could really just start her own reign of terror. But the rest of the combined forces would take care of that when the time came, because she’s still not as bad as the Bellas.

Then there was Bayley. Bayley is a little naive, and she stands for everything that’s right, and everyone loves her. Some people make fun of her because she seems like a child to them but she’s actually really great and can take all of the abuse because in the end, any name you call Bayley, really describes yourself.

There was Becky Lynch. She doesn’t care what anyone says, she’s just there to kick your ass. And that she will.

And finally, there’s Sasha Banks. Sasha is legitimately one of the best in the world. While A.J. was one person, Sasha Banks is a force unto herself. A.J. didn’t take shit, but anyone who tries to give Sasha shit will get themselves chewed up and spat back out. She will destroy you, much like she will destroy any and all of her opponents and naysayers. She’s called a lot of names but it doesn’t phase her. She’s the boss and no one can stop her. In the end she will always be known as the greatest ever – and not just one of the best women, one of the best wrestlers, ever.

These four took down the evil Bellas, and even though we still have to suffer through Charlotte, we will NEVER have to deal with the Bellas again.

Five Fave Fives (Or Something Like That)

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So after watching a video made by the best wrestling podcast by wrestling fans for wrestling fans on the web today, TWITWOW, last night (Go watch them all two people who read my blog), about their five favorite performers from different wrestling promotions, I’m inclined to do the same. I actually tried to do this post a few weeks ago but it felt like – what’s the point, just read the about me page on here and you can see who I like. But I felt like trying again.

Now, it’s not going to be exactly like their video – it’s not going to be based on the past four months. I don’t think I can weed out some of my overall favorites even if their booking in the past few months hasn’t been as strong. Some of them who may have made it may be affected by booking or injury, but not all. Also, I think I’m going to do a tag team one because I want to give them proper credit too and I don’t know if they’ll make the top fives. Also, some of them I may like too many people to not do a top ten – even though the top five of that would clearly be a top five, within WWE there are too many people I like to do just five without a ton of honorable mentions. We’ll see.

I’m not going to do an “Other” list like they did, because I only watch WWE and LU and I literally started watching NJPW last month. There’s only so much wrestling I have time to consume, and I felt like WWE and LU was enough. But since WWE is quite bad I’m trying to branch out anyway.

But, in the spirit of an Other list, here are a few people in the business that’s not in any of these promotions (or only just signed with them but haven’t appeared yet) that I like, or some others that I’m aware of but haven’t seen yet that I know that I would like: Kairi Hojo/Sane, Io Shirai, Mayu Iwatani, Toni Storm, Priscilla Kelly, Chuck Taylor.

My first list is going to be for NJPW, which again, I’ve only just started watching. My list, I feel, may seem weird to those who’ve watched it for a long time. I did just burn through a list of old matches from the past couple of years in the past few days, but I’m basically going off who caught my eye the most during G1.

Honorable Mentions:
Kazuchika Okada
Tetsuya Naito
Tama Tonga
Evil
Zack Sabre Jr.

5. Toru Yano
4. Minoru Suzuki
3. Tomohiro Ishii
2. Kota Ibushi
1. Kenny Omega

Lucha Underground

Honorable Mentions:

Angelico
Ivelisse
Jack Evans
Son of Havoc
Killshot
Vibora
Matanza
Dragon Azteca Jr.
PJ Black
Mariposa

10. The Mack
9. Cage
8. Marty the Moth
7. Jeremiah Crane
6. Taya
5. Dante Fox
4. Pentagon Dark
3. Prince Puma
2. Mil Muertes
1. Johnny Mundo

NXT:

Honorable Mentions:
Iconic Duo
Ruby Riot
Nikki Cross
Eric Young
Roderick Strong
Hideo Itami

5. Asuka
4. Ember Moon
3. Johnny Gargano
2. Aleister Black
1. Tommaso Ciampa

Tag Teams:

Honorable Mentions:
War Machine

5. The Hardys
4. Breezango
3. The New Day
2. The Usos
1. The Revival

Smackdown:

Honorable Mentions:
Luke Harper
Baron Corbin
Rusev
Tye Dillinger
Chad Gable

5. Sami Zayn
4. Kevin Owens
3. Shinsuke Nakamura
2. Becky Lynch
1. A.J. Styles

Raw:

Honorable Mentions:
Alexa Bliss
Dean Ambrose
Bayley
Emma
Cesaro
Bray Wyatt
Neville
The Miz

5. Samoa Joe
4. Seth Rollins
3. Finn Balor
2. Braun Strowman
1. Sasha Banks

Top Ten Favorite Wrestlers in the World:
10. Becky Lynch
9. Finn Balor
8. Pentagon Dark
7. Braun Strowman
6. Prince Puma
5. Mil Muertes
4. A.J. Styles
3. Sasha Banks
2. Kenny Omega
1. Johnny Mundo

WWE SummerSlam 2017 Review, Comments, Etc.

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Well, that show happened. Much like NXT, it was a pretty mixed show – except NXT at least had mostly good matches whereas SummerSlam had a lot less than that. There was some good matches, but there was so much other crap that the good couldn’t make up for it. There was probably three really, really good matches, a couple other good ones, and a few moments that made me very happy – and that’s it. There was a lot of crap, and they really need to stop these four hour shows and two hour preshows. I can handle it for Mania, but in all other scenarios, no. There were thirteen matches – and you can trim out six of them and you’d actually have a good show here. But we had to sit through the other six.

The preshow doesn’t count towards the show itself, but I’ll still mention those matches today because it had title matches.

The Miztourage won against the Hardys and Jason Jordan in a match that happened. Hurray!

Neville regained the Cruiserweight Championship in a decent match against Akira Tozawa, however why the fuck did Tozawa win to begin with?

And finally, The Usos defeated The New Day in another great match to win back the WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship. This should’ve been on the main card.

The show opened with John Cena defeating Baron Corbin in an average match to continue to bury Baron Corbin for no reason outside of stupidity and FUCK DAVE MELTZER.

Rating: ** for Cena (***** for Baron though, fuck off Meltzer)

Natalya then defeated Naomi to win the WWE Blue Women’s Championship because WWE hates us. Not because Naomi lost but because Natalya won. And Carmella didn’t cash in so FML.

Rating: **1/2

Big Cass vs. Big Show was awful and should’ve opened the preshow. Fuck this match and fuck everyone who came up with it and put together.

Rating: DUD

Also, whomever decided to bitch out Rusev AGAIN against Orton in a Not-Actually-A-Match, go fuck yourself.

Rating: DUD

In the first main show good match of the night, Sasha Banks defeated Alexa Bliss to FINALLY win the WWE Women’s Championship for the first real time because those three other times don’t really count when you lose it right back three times. The match was good – not great, but good – but sometimes that doesn’t matter when the moment at the end is great. And Sasha finally got a big PPV win that she’s justly deserved for a long time. The best has her title, and let’s hope she keeps it for a legit title reign, turns heel and then beats Bayley’s ass too!

Rating: ***1/2

Finn Balor defeated Bray Wyatt as we all knew he would. Fun to see the demon again, don’t think he needed it to beat Bray. I mean, it was fine, but nothing exceptional.

Rating: ***

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins defeated Sheamus and Cesaro to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in a really good match. My favorite part was Cesaro killing the beach ball because the fans were being such fucking marks for themselves again and being disrespectful as fuck and they got what they deserved. You paid a ton of money to go to SummerSlam, watch the fucking match. We didn’t turn on the show to watch the crowd throw a ball around like idiots. YOU ARE NOT THE SHOW. Why were you doing this during one of the good matches anyway? At least you could’ve done it during Cass vs. Show. Anyways, Ambrose and Rollins won and I hope they face the Revival when they’re back.

Rating: ***1/2

A.J. Styles defeated Kevin Owens to retain the WWE U.S. Championship in a good match. My only complaint was too much emphasis on ref bumps and BS like that.

Rating: ***1/2

Jinder Mahal pinned Shinsuke Nakamura clean to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship so FUCK THIS COMPANY.

Rating: **

And finally, Brock Lesnar defeated Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe, and Roman Reigns in a great match to retain the WWE Universal Championship. This match was about as great as you’d expect it to be. I don’t know if the stretcher spot was necessary but whatever.

Rating: ****

Overall, if you took out the six man tag, Cena/Corbin, Orton/Rusev, Naomi/Natalya, Cass vs. Show, and Mahal vs. Nakamura (And this is only on Mahal’s boring ass), you’d have a really good show I would say. It’s too bad all of that other crap was there to water it down.

Overall Grade: C+

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

WWE SummerSlam 2017 Final Card and Results

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Fatal 4-Way for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns
My Winner: Samoa Joe or Braun Strowman
Probable Winner: Brock Lesnar
Winner, and still WWE Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar

WWE World Heavyweight Championahip
Jinder Mahal (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
My Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
Probable Winner: Jinder Mahal
Winner, and still WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Jinder Mahal

WWE U.S. Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Kevin Owens
Special Ref: Shane McMahon
My Winner: A.J. Styles
Probable Winner: A.J. Styles
Winner, and still WWE U.S. Champion, A.J. Styles

WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks
My Winner: Sasha Banks
Probable Winner: Alexa Bliss
Winner, AND NEW WWE Women’s Champion, Sasha Banks

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
My Winners: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
Probable Winners: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
Winners, and new WWE World Tag Team Champions, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The New Day (c) vs. The Usos
My Winners: Either
Probable Winners: The New Day
Winners, and new WWE Blue World Tag Team Champions, The Usos

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt
My Winner: Finn Balor
Probable Winner: Finn Balor
Winner: Finn Balor

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin
My Winner: Baron Corbin
Probable Winner: John Cena
Winner: John Cena

WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Naomi (c) vs. Natalya
My Winner: Becky Lynch
Probable Winner: Naomi
Winner, and new WWE Blue Women’s Champion, Natalya

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Akira Tozawa (c) vs. Neville
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Akira Tozawa
Winner, and new WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Neville

Randy Orton vs. Rusev
My Winner: Rusev
Probable Winner: Randy Orton
Winner: Randy Orton

Enzo’s In a Shark Cage Match
Big Show vs. Big Cass
My Winner: Don’t Care
Probable Winner: Big Cass
Winner: Big Cass

The Hardys and Jason Jordan vs. The Miztourage
Winners: The Miztourage

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn III Review, Comments, Etc.

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Well, that was an interesting show, I guess. I feel like I enjoyed four of the five matches, but the victors left a LOT to be desired. I can agree with only two winners.

The first match was Johnny Gargano vs. Andrade Cien Almas and this match was great. I’d probably even say it was match of the night. And while I was hoping for Gargano to win, I can at least agree with Almas winning. I’ve never been a fan of Almas even though I can still acknowledge he’s really good in the ring. If he could just get a character I could get into then things would be different.

Then, SAnitY defeated the Authors of Pain to win the NXT Tag Titles. The match was good, but SAnitY winning didn’t really make much sense. I feel like AOP was bitched out a little – we’ve seen them eat so much offense and still win but then they lost to whatever move they lost to tonight which didn’t seem like much of a finisher. Also, Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish attacking SAnitY after doesn’t do too much for me because my ROH experience has never been that high.

Aleister Black and Hideo Itami then kicked the fuck out of each other in a really good match. Black won as expected.

Asuka retained against Ember in a really good match that Ember definitely should’ve won. There’s no real excuse for this – it’s somewhat unfair to Ember, the one who should be unseating Asuka for the belt, that they’re just going to wait to give the MYC winner a title match with Asuka and then have her win. Sigh.

And the only bad match was the main event. I didn’t care going in and I was bored, and then Drew won which is even worse. I don’t like Roode and he shouldn’t be champ, but Drew wasn’t the one who should have taken it. And Adam Cole coming out and attacking Drew – again, my ROH experience is minimal.

Overall, it was a weird show. Good wrestling, poor winners for the most part.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn III Final Card and Results

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NXT World Heavyweight Championship
Bobby Roode (c) vs. Drew McIntyre
My Winner: Don’t Care
Probable Winner: Bobby Roode
Winner, and new NXT World Heavyweight Champion, Drew McIntyre

NXT Women’s Championship
Asuka (c) vs. Ember Moon
My Winner: Ember Moon
Probable Winner: Asuka
Winner, and still NXT Women’s Champion, Asuka

NXT World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Authors of Pain (c) vs. SAnitY
My Winners: SAnitY
Probable Winners: The Authors of Pain
Winners, and new NXT World Tag Team Champions, SAnitY

Aleister Black vs. Hideo Itami
My Winner: Aleister Black
Probable Winner: Aleister Black
Winner: Aleister Black

Johnny Gargano vs. Andrade Cien Almas
My Winner: Johnny Gargano
Probable Winner: Johnny Gargano
Winner: Andrade Cien Almas

WWE SummerSlam 2017 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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I guess with this post, I’m celebrating three years of using this format for predictions posts – with the images and stuff. Why that matters? No one knows.  I’m looking through this card of TWELVE MATCHES and I see about one that I’m fully invested in, and a few others that I’m somewhat invested in. But for the most part, this show is all just a bunch of throwing shit against a wall to see what sticks. And they fucked a ton of stuff up this week. But we’ll get to that. This may be reminiscent of a WrestleMania CinemaSins like predictions post, because I may be that annoyed by it. I hope someone in WWE reads it as is just as much of a mark that they rant about this like the dumbass director of Kong Skull Island was today when CinemaSins sinned their movie. (Doesn’t understand comedy apparently.)

Big Show vs. Big Cass

Just like, why? Why is this a thing? Why is this on this card? Why do I care about Big Show vs. Big Cass with Enzo locked in a cage? Granted, I will say I liked what they did on Raw this week between them, but I still don’t care. I’m growing to hate all of them. I haven’t cared about Big Show since 2005, and his useless ass has become more annoying each time I see him now. Enzo I haven’t given a fuck about since he basically tried to get cheered while being quite the misogynist towards Lana in yet another god awful feud Rusev was dragged into. And it certainly hasn’t helped that his career path without Cass is basically nonexistent, and also with all of the shit he’s got happening backstage with strippers and some other bullshit, he can fuck off. He sounds like mini-Ryback. And Cass – well, Cass has cut a few good promos recently, I guess. But his in ring work has never done anything for me and, well, let’s just say that, in a world filled with Big Cass’s, be Seth Rollins.

Prediction: Big Cass

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

So after Rusev gets stuck with the bullshit Cena flag match, he’s stuck with Randy-Can’t-Beat-Jinder-Fucking-Mahal-Orton. Snore. I just wish that Rusev could get away from the xenophobic bullshit because then I could get behind him. I can’t get behind characters that are just there to get USA chants because it’s boring and also fuck that patriotic bullshit. Never rooting against people because they’re from a different country, WWE. I’m not one of those idiots. Can Rusev please win?

Prediction: Randy Orton

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Akira Tozawa (c) vs. Neville


So tell me why in the fuck did Tozawa win the title on Raw? Neville has been champion since ROYAL RUMBLE and he’s been a very good one, and you take the belt off of him on Raw and NOT at SummerSlam? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t SummerSlam SummerSlam? It is, right? Because I could’ve sworn SummerSlam was SummerSlam. This is the second biggest show of the year and you do this title change on Raw which you could’ve done AT SUMMERSLAM for a nice moment on what’s going to be a probably mediocre show. So now what – either Tozawa wins and again, it’s stupid because it doesn’t mean anything anymore because what could’ve been a big moment was wasted for a much smaller one six days prior. Or Neville wins and gets it back which is even more stupid.

Prediction: Akira Tozawa

WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Naomi (c) vs. Natalya


Have I told you guys that I barely care about Naomi and Natalya can just fuck off? Like, Natalya is the second worst option for a title match. So at best Natalya can say “Well at least I’m not Charlotte.” She isn’t much better, though. And I still don’t like Naomi much – if she had a non-bullshit finisher, a non-annoying as fuck entrance, didn’t do the most ineffective looking maneuver since Nikki Bella’s forearm, and didn’t make the title look stupid as hell like several people have before her, I’d probably be a full-fledged fan, but I can’t until that’s all fixed. I have no reason to believe that Natalya would win, but here’s to hoping Carmella saves us after.

Prediction: Naomi

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

You know, until tonight I didn’t care too much about this match and even though I wanted Baron to win, I wasn’t going to be mad when Cena won because it didn’t matter. But now, well….Now WWE fucked up massively and had Corbin cash in and lose for NO REASON whatsoever. Seriously FUCK THIS COMPANY. Even if you’re dumb enough to not like Corbin, you still have to hate this because it’s a waste of MITB. Even if you’re stupid enough to be happy that Corbin’s not the champion, that briefcase could’ve went to one of five other guys that you do like. So now that we all know how dumb this was, we can all be just as enraged about this and all back Corbin. For on Sunday, WE ARE ALL BARON CORBIN. (Also whomever changed Corbin’s awesome theme – fuck you.) Hell, maybe now he will win. I guess I would like to believe that WWE isn’t dumb enough to have him cash in and lose and then lose to Cena on Sunday, but they were already dumb enough to have him cash in and lose.

Prediction: John Cena

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Now I know a lot of people are mad that they spoiled that Finn would be the demon on Sunday…but come on, guys. You knew. WE ALL KNEW HE WOULD BE. Don’t be mad about that. That said, I am mad that they had a match on Monday just for Bray to set up a dumb way for us to know that he would be. It’s not that they spoiled it – because we knew that. It’s been a year, it’s SummerSlam, and WWE doesn’t care about “Big enough matches that are worth doing it.” They just want everything that can add to their show regardless of story. But, does ANYONE really think Balor NEEDS the demon to beat Bray Wyatt? Because I sure don’t.

Prediction: Finn Balor

WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The New Day (c) vs. The Usos


Now this I have no problem with outside of the fact that I’ve seen it twice, but this should be great as usual. I’d really like the Usos to regain the titles, but I doubt it.

Prediction: The New Day

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Cesaro and Sheamus (c) vs. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins


This is one of the matches I’m actually looking forward to, because I’ve been enjoying what they’ve been doing with Rollins and Ambrose. It’s one of few bright spots in the company right now. And since Sheamus is leaving to do a movie, and it’d be completely pointless to do all of this with Ambrose and Rollins for them not to win the titles, even if it’s brief. If this gets Sheamus away from Cesaro and eventually gets Ambrose to turn on Rollins, this will be great.

Prediction: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks


I have a few things to say about this. First, what were you playing at, originally having Bayley get the title match at SummerSlam instead of Sasha when Sasha was screwed out of her title match at GBOF? Like, I get it would lead to a future heel turn – at least I hope it would – for Sasha, but still. Like, logical story progression, please. And you buried the hell out of Bayley in the past few months – you can’t act like you don’t know that. And now Bayley’s injured because she was put in a match with Nia that she would NOT have been in had she not been #1 contender, so because you couldn’t just have logical storyline progression, now Bayley’s hurt and you had to go with what you should’ve to begin with. So GOOD JOB WWE – Bayley’s injury is on you. That being said, I’d be more into this match if I had belief that Sasha was going to win – and I’m not 100% positive she won’t – but I’m less positive than I was that Bayley would regain the belt. This is probably one of the tougher matches to call because I thought Bayley would win – and I think it’s time for Alexa to drop the belt. And they could still make a heel turn story for Sasha work from this somewhere down the line too. I’m just not exactly sure. Can I, as a huge Sasha Banks fun, just get one big moment for her on PPV because WWE fucked up all of the other ones, and she’s justly deserved to have a big moment for a long time. I know she’s won the belt three times from Charlotte, but it’s still like she never even won the belt once because she never had a successful title defense. It’s like she’s never been champion at all to be honest.

Prediction: Alexa Bliss

WWE U.S. Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Kevin Owens


This should be a good match but I’m just not into it. Their last PPV match was weird and we got it again in between that and this. A.J.’s going to win and this feud will end.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Jinder Mahal (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura


Well, I’m happy Shinsuke’s getting a title match but Jinder is just so boring. The title reign has been a bomb. That said, even I think that maybe it’s too early for Shinsuke to win the belt, but I can’t get excited for Smackdown with Jinder as champ. Maybe if they hadn’t had Baron lose the MITB shot we’d solve this dilemma, but, oops…. I’m sorry to say, guys, but I don’t think Nakamura is winning the belt. He might win, but by DQ. Or there will be some other bullshit.

Prediction: Shinsuke Nakamura by DQ

Fatal 4-Way for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns


Now this I am definitely looking forward to. I’m happy they made this main event. Now, they kind of spoiled it with the “If Brock loses he’s going to leave” which is annoying. Because that basically guarantees he’s keeping the belt – unless he’s actually going to do some more UFC bullshit. But honestly I’m just hoping Samoa Joe or Braun Strowman win because Raw needs a full time champion and Joe and Strowman are both great choices for that.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Anyways, review on Sunday as always.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-