Good lord was that show trash. It was such trash that, for only the second time in history, I didn’t even watch the whole thing. So – this isn’t even going to be a real review and I’m not giving ratings. I watched the chambers and the contract signing. After the bullshit of the first chamber there was no good reason to make myself suffer through three other shitty matches.
The women’s elimination chamber wasn’t even good. But, I’m not surprised. Mandy Rose is awful, Sonya Deville is average, and Alexa Bliss is a steaming pile of bear shit. To their credit, Mickie and Bayley are good to great, but niether have credibility. Why in the world this match opened with a 2 on 1 of Absolution vs. Bayley I’ll never know. Mandy is SO FUCKING BAD. It took the match down before it could even start. It should’ve started with Mickie and Bayley. The crowd was legitimately dead from the get go. And then Sasha entered which was no surprise because we gotta do the pointless two on two shit. Mandy got eliminated first because even backstage peeps know she sucks. Mickie came in after and even though she was only in for a few minutes, I enjoyed what we got from her. She took Sonya out with a Thesz Press off the pod. Then Sasha and Bayley took her out collectively and waited for Alexa to get out. See how Alexa has been champion for so long but then she can’t even be counted on to take part in the match for more than seven minutes. You know the real workhorses and the ones who are ACTUALLY good at what they do are the ones that are in the match the longest, like when you’re in a match for 50 minutes plus. Alexa runs and climbs like a bitch from Sasha and Bayley until Sasha stupidly knocks Bayley off a pod far too early. Bayley inevitably Super-Bayley-plexes Sasha off the top and then Alexa eliminates Bayley for funsies with a random pin. Alexa inevitably executes about two moves or so on Sasha and wins after a super DDT after being shoved face first into a pod – because if you’ve noticed anything in women’s wrestling, you know that you just shove them face first into a turnbuckle pad and you’ll win almost 100 % of the time.
God, this match wasn’t even any good until all of Absolution was gone, and even then, the rest was predictable as fuck. Idiots chanted “You deserve it” at Alexa because apparently when you perform four maneuvers to retain a title you haven’t defended since October to make sure you go into WrestleMania as the champion – well, apparently that means you deserve it. Even though you’ve legit forgot you’re the champion, as have many others. I’m going to laugh hysterically at all the sad little Alexa Bliss fans when Nia Jax pins her ass at Mania because they’re going to cry like bitches. WWE has made their bed and now they have to lie in it. I can’t wait for Vince to just retire or die so we can’t end up with women who suck at their jobs so badly as champion just because they’re blonde – because that’s legit the only reason Alexa is the champion. She isn’t talented. She can’t wrestle. She can talk, sure – but who gives a fuck about that when you can’t go in the ring at all?
This is how you know the women’s revolution is a sham. They give the women rumbles and chambers, but when it comes down to who is in the big important title matches at Mania – it’s always the ones who suck but are there because of nepotism – like Charlotte, like Nia, like Alexa. Asuka somehow gets to be there too, but there’s an exception to every rule. She’s the only one who deserves to be in a title match.
Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax isn’t worthy of a WrestleMania preshow, much less the main card.
Charlotte vs. Asuka is not something I want to see at all.
Sasha vs. Bayley at Mania will be nice, but it’s not really a good enough consolation prize to me. Bayley doesn’t have credibility.
You fucked up, WWE. Why you intentionally bypass legitimately good rivalries and matches – ones that everyone wants to see – and decide to put on a Raw Women’s Title match that will literally make you a laughing stock to anyone who actually cares about wrestling, I’ll never know. Why do you choose crap instead of legitimately great matches? DON’T YOU WANT PEOPLE TO TALK POSITIVELY ABOUT YOUR SHOWS? ISN’T THAT THE GOAL?
Whatever. The main women’s match at Mania will be Sasha vs. Bayley while Nia/Alexa happens on the preshow and everyone will forget it an hour after it happened.
WWE really wants people not to watch WrestleMania at this point. They’re trying really hard.
Anyways, Ronda Rousey! How awful was that promo? LOL. Also Kurt can’t remember WrestleManias. Anyways, still enjoyed Triple H going through a table, but the fact that Stephanie STILL didn’t get any comeuppance is bullshit.
The crowd was shit tonight, btw.
Anyways – the men’s chamber – meh. I mean, Braun eliminating everyone is great, but then he lost to Roman as we knew he would SO WHY DO I FUCKING CARE NOW? Snore.
Anyways, that’s all of my energy that this show is worth. Fuck this company.
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