WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs 2017 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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So, this PPV is happening. This seems like the most inconsequential show they could possibly do. Almost no title matches, no world champion, and for the most part, predictable finishes. So let’s just get through this – there’s no reason not to just breeze through this crap.

Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher

This is a match that’s happening, apparently. I don’t pay attention to the cruiserweights because they still have no idea what they’re doing, so I’m surprised to find a non-cruiserweight title match make it on the show. Still, I have no insight.

Prediction: Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Kalisto (c) vs. Enzo Amore


“When’s Kalisto going to be put in the cruiserweight division?” We all said. Well, here he is now, lol. That being said, everything I said about Enzo being in the Cruiserweight division I stand by (For a reminder, it was just a lot of laughing), but those two segments with Neville destroying him were great. Unfortunately Neville leaving sucks and then we hotshotted Kalisto to a title, and he’s just going to lose it back. STOP PUTTING TITLES ON SOMEONE IF THEY ARE GOING TO IMMEDIATELY LOSE IT. NO. STOP IT.

Prediction: Enzo Amore

WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Mickie James


You see, this is what happens when you keep someone champion for too long. They run out of credible challengers. And then WWE throws a challenger without credibility into the title match for no reason – just to be fodder to extend this boring as fuck title reign even longer until we reach the Asuka inevitability. We could have Sasha Banks as a heel running this entire show but instead we have mediocre Alexa hogging the title being not much more than a Bella with talent but still not enough talent to hold a title as long as she has. All the while, NOBODY CARES. Wake me up when something interesting happens on either brand’s women’s division, because I’m really bored of them running with mediocre Alexa and talentless Charlotte/Natalya.

Prediction: Alexa Bliss

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Just why?

Prediction: Finn Balor

Asuka vs. Emma

Outside of the TLC match, this is about the only other part of this show I’m really looking forward to. It’ll be good, no need to guess who’s winning. (GO EMMA!)

Prediction: Asuka

TLC Match
The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Cesaro, Sheamus, The Miz, and Kane


This should be fun. Again, no need to guess who’s winning.

Prediction: The Shield

So that’s that. Review Sunday.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

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WWE Hell in a Cell 2017 Review, Comments, Etc.

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Well, that show was about everything we expected it to be. One incredible tag team match, and then maybe one or two other good matches, and that’s it.

The Usos defeated the New Day to regain the WWE World Tag Team Championship inside Hell in a Cell. This match was incredible as we all knew it would be. Their three previous matches were all amazing, and this did not disappoint. It was fast paced, creative, and entertaining throughout. As always, when a match is this good – the right thing to do is just to direct you to go and watch it, because I shouldn’t be giving it all away for you. Of their four bouts I would probably say their SummerSlam one is still the best one, but this is right behind it.

Rating: ****1/2

Randy Orton defeated Rusev in an average match.

Rating: **1/2

Baron Corbin then defeated A.J. Styles and late addition Tye Dillinger to win the U.S. Championship. This was good, but I probably wouldn’t say it was amazing. Pretty much a standard triple threat match. Still, it was enough to make it the second or third best match on the show.

Rating: ***

Natalya got herself DQ’ed to end a boring match against Charlotte to sadly extend this god awful feud.

Rating: **

Jinder Mahal retained the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in typical boring Jinder Mahal fashion against Shinsuke Nakamura. You could have had something special with Shinsuke, but you’d rather degrade the WWE Title to a sack of rat feces.

Rating: **

Bobby Roode beat Dolph Ziggler in really dumb fashion in a boring match.

Rating: DUD

And then Kevin Owens defeated Shane McMahon in an alright Hell in a Cell Match. First off, this match went 39 full minutes which was 25 minutes too long. I DON’T NEED TO SEE NON-WRESTLER SHANE MCMAHON FOR FORTY MINUTES. So disrespectful to the actual wrestlers to give an old guy who doesn’t wrestle 40 minutes. Honestly, if they’d started with the stuff that was on top of the cell and went from there, I’d actually call this good. But they wasted so much time on the inside when you knew how it would end, so it was pointless. Even then, there was a Coast to Coast which is nothing new. Owens tried to cannonball McMahon through a table but missed – that was moderately interesting. The biggest WTF moment was how the ref called a rope break to break up the pin after the Coast 2 Coast because as we all know there is NO ROPE BREAK IN HELL IN A CELL FFS. Especially when the Cell match is Falls Count Anywhere. Eventually Shane finally decides to leave the cell because, well, he can apparently? So he did. The match could’ve done without all of that because it was slow and led to nothing but the ref looking like an idiot. So eventually Owens gets Shane on the announce table and then climbs the cell, but then takes far too long pacing instead of actually jumping off the cell. So Shane gets up and we waste more time waiting for him to climb up, and they fight on top of the cell for a while. But all they do is tease you with a bunch of moves with no falling off of the cell or no going through the cell so WHO THE FUCK CARES? You just did moves on top of steel at that point so it was just a Chamber match at that point. Either do a couple moves and then move on, or make sure someone goes through the cell. I’m not impressed by moves on top of steel without any actual consequences. Anyways, they start to climb down, Shane knocks Owens off the the table, but of course that isn’t enough for Shane so we have to drag things on even longer as he puts Owens on ANOTHER table, climbs the cell AGAIN, wasting more time, and then does the exact same dive HE ALWAYS does which is not impressive. But he missed because Sami Zayn pulled Owens out of the way, which is legitimately the only interesting thing to come from this match, as he then made Owens cover Shane for the win. If you’d cut twenty minutes and started at the top of the cell they’d have had a far better match.

Rating: ***1/2

Overall the tag match was great, but there’s nothing else on this show I’d actually recommend to others.

Overall Grade: C

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

WWE Hell in a Cell 2017 Final Card and Results

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Hell in a Cell Match
Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon
My Winner: Kevin Owens
Probable Winner: Shane McMahon
Winner: Kevin Owens

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Jinder Mahal (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
My Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
Probable Winner: Jinder Mahal
Winner, and still WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Jinder Mahal

Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The New Day (c) vs. The Usos
My Winners: The Usos
Probable Winner: The New Day
Winners, and new WWE World Tag Team Champions, The Usos

Triple Threat Match for the WWE U.S. Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: A.J. Styles
Winner, and new WWE U.S. Champion, Baron Corbin

WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Natalya (c) vs. Charlotte
My Winner: Meteor
Probable Winner: Charlotte
Winner by DQ, Charlotte; Still WWE Blue Women’s Champion, Natalya

Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler
My Winner: Don’t Care
Probable Winner: Bobby Roode
Winner: Bobby Roode

Randy Orton vs. Rusev
My Winner: Rusev
Probable Winner: Randy Orton
Winner: Randy Orton

WWE Hell in a Cell 2017 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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Oh joy, another PPV. And another PPV where I’m supposed to care about Shane McMahon maybe jumping from a high place and also about a McMahon getting beat up. NEWS FLASH: It’s 2017 and I don’t give a fuck.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

So, are we going to get a real match this time? Regardless, cut and paste whatever I said about the SummerSlam match and put it here.

Prediction: Randy Orton

Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

Hey look, Dolph is the first feud for someone from NXT again!

Prediction: Bobby Roode

WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Natalya (c) vs. Charlotte

Why are you doing this to me? Again? What did I do to you? Show me where they hurt you, WWE. Show me where they hurt you so I know why you’re so sadistic that you’d give us this awful match for the third time in 1.5 years. Both women’s divisions are so beyond fucked up right now. On Raw you have had the title on someone who isn’t bad but is also mediocre since April and we’ve gotten to the point where her title reign is so stale that we’ve gotten Mickie James as a challenger who is nothing but title reign extension fodder just so we wait for the Asuka inevitability, while the best talent of Raw flounders from poor writing and the refusal of WWE to run with their actual best talent (Sasha/Emma/Bayley). And on Smackdown we’ve run from mediocre talent Naomi to awful Natalya and now probably god awful Charlotte while Becky sits around with nothing to do. For a “revolution” of women in sports, WWE seems content in pushing the worst of the talent over the best ones. Gross. As far as this is concerned – can we all just take a second to thank whatever false deity that you believe in that this is NOT a hell in a cell match? Because for as much as people bitched and moaned about Sasha/Charlotte being the “first ever Women’s HIAC match” (hope that triggered someone), at least while the story for that one left a lot to be desired, it absolutely deserved to be a cell match and had at least one talent worthy of being in it – unfortunately that match NEVER HAPPENED. It.Never.Happened. Good God Almighty that match’s result which was one of the biggest blemishes/blunders in WWE history NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED. (OH GOD I TRIGGERED MYSELF. Sorry. Moving on.) Anyways….. Imagine if this was the first ever one, or if this was one in general. We’d all have to die. So, as much as I’m rooting for Carmella – GO METEOR!

Prediction: Charlotte

WWE U.S. Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Baron Corbin


Imagine being buried weekly because you know more about concussion issues than the crackpot doctor WWE is using, then being told on screen that you squander all your opportunities that you’ve had, even though the only opportunity you “squandered” was MITB because WWE made you lose the briefcase just because they’re spiteful that you know more than some idiot about important issues? Then you’d be Baron Corbin. That whole situation is bullshit. As much as Corbin should win this, I doubt it.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Jinder Mahal (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura


So, if this match isn’t in the Cell, then why should I believe that this match is going to end in any fashion other than how LITERALLY ALL OF JINDER’S TITLE DEFENSES HAVE ENDED? Seriously, the Jinder experiment failed ages ago, and they’re just going to carry this on and kill the brand and by the time Shinsuke Fucking Nakamura lost twice to Jinder Fucking Mahal, they’ll have completely squandered everything that could have been.

Prediction: Jinder Mahal

Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The New Day (c) vs. The Usos


Now this will undoubtedly be the best match of the show. I’m looking forward to this more than anything else on the show. I really hope the Usos regain the belts, because there’s literally nothing for the New Day to do with the belts besides be the New Day. New Day are above the titles at this point.

Prediction: The New Day

Hell in a Cell Match
Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens


Why in 2017 should I care about someone vs. a McMahon? Why should I feel sympathy for a McMahon being beaten up? I realize that Shane is the likable one, but still, why? So Kevin is going to beat up the son of the millionaire guy who’s running his own business into the ground with awful shows week after week and awful PPVs more often than not? A guy whose company holds tributes for shootings while the boss’s wife works for the administration that helps perpetuate such tragedies? Among all of the other bullshit that they STILL do. Just look at all of the racist promos they’ve had Jinder doing, while they make Jinder a lightning rod for USA chants and xenophobia. Fuck all of that. Go Kevin Owens – beat that guy’s ass.

Prediction: Shane McMahon

Whatever, review Sunday.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

I Fight To Forget; I Fight Because I Can’t: The Hell of War

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Lucha Underground’s UltimaLucha Tres started this past Wednesday night, and it started with perhaps one of the best matches in its entire run. The Hell of War Match – the blowoff match to one of the most well done stories in both the company’s history, and in wrestling history itself.

Killshot has been around since partway through season one, although we didn’t get much backstory to his character until season two. He’s a former soldier who’s been through the many perils of war, and now that that life is behind him, he finds himself at the Lucha Underground Temple doing what he does best – fighting for survival. The title of this post is his words – he fights to forget, and he fights because he can’t.

In season two we saw him battle Marty the Moth, a demented character who stole his dog tags, and that feud capped off in the second episode of season three in a WMD match – another great match. Shortly thereafter Killshot was given a note that said simply “You left me for dead.”

Enter Dante Fox – a fellow soldier that fought with Killshot, and subsequently was imprisoned alongside him by the enemy, among others. Killshot escaped, leaving the rest to die.

They’ve battled several times over the season. Dante won their first match upon his debut, and after Killshot thought that was over, they teamed together for one match. But, of course, it was far from over. They continued to battle, and Dante would later go on to cost Killshot the Cueto Cup, and Killshot would attack him after Dante was eliminated from the same tournament.

This story was handled beautifully. It handled the perils of war without glorifying it much like many politicians love to do. It handled it without creating some bogus, tired narrative that WWE would give to you of America vs. foreign nation and all the xenophobia and racism that comes with that.

Then comes this match – which, because of how well the story was done, and how good a performer both Killshot and Dante Fox are, both of whom I’ve become big fans of – I was looking forward to this match possibly the most of all the matches scheduled for UltimaLucha Tres. If it’s not the most, it’s definitely in the top three. And it was the main event of night one of four – and if this was the first night, the rest of it will surely be insane. Although they have a tough act to follow.

As far as the match is concerned, it’s certainly not for the squeamish. It wasn’t called the Hell of War for no reason – it’s a 3 Stages of Hell match where the first fall was First Blood, the second a Street Fight, and the final fall an ambulance match. And while there are wrestling companies like CZW where this kind of violence is seen regularly, outside of Lucha Underground, I only regularly watch WWE and recently I’ve started to watch NJPW, so the level of violence in this match is not something I watch on a regular basis.

The first fall is the only one that closely resembles a wrestling match. While they were using weapons, for most of it it was only those you see in a standard No DQ match – chairs, ladders, etc. Killshot would essentially play Whack a Mole with Dante’s head poking out of a ladder, trying to hit him with a chair. Instead, Dante sent the chair flying into Killshot’s face. Killshot would later dropkick a chair into Dante’s face, before taking another hit to the head with a chair on the outside. Dante hit a sick parkour Moonsault off the apron, using the turnbuckle to flip over on top of Killshot who was on top of the ladder. Dante jumped from the stands and hit a leg drop onto Killshot who was laying on the apron with a chair on top of him. And Dante hit a springboard, top rope Spanish Fly.

Dante would eventually go and get a large pane of glass and set it down on two set up chairs so it was elevated off the ground. He would attempt to hit his finisher, the Foxcatcher (an elevated DDT) off the apron and through the glass, but Killshot countered and hit a Uranage onto the apron onto Dante. They got into the ring, and set the glass pane back on top of the chairs inside the ring. Again, Dante would try to hit the Foxcatcher off the top rope, but after Killshot blocked it, Dante would block what looked like a powerbomb into a back drop off the top rope, sending Killshot flying and crashing down the the glass, shattering it to pieces and tearing Killshot’s back apart as the crowd, who up until this point has been going crazy, gasps and then remains silent. Needless to say, the first fall goes to Dante as now Killshot’s back bleeding.

Following this, the match continues. But somewhere in here, the match ceases becoming a wrestling match and became the war it was described as. Dante hit a Lo Mein Pain on Killshot, flipping him off the top rope and through a set up chair, and hit him with a 450 Splash off the top rope while he was on top of a ladder. Killshot hit Dante with a superkick while he was sitting on the second turnbuckle, then planted him headfirst with a DDT. Then Killshot got a huge piece of plywood with many coils of barbed wire on it, propping it up against the ropes. Keep in mind all of that broken glass is still all over the ring. While teasing someone going through the barbed wire, Killshot hits his finisher, the Killstomp, onto Dante and Dante kicks out defiantly at 1. They both scowl at each other as they get up to their knees before Killshot knees Dante in the face, lifts him up and powerbombs Dante through the barbed wire plywood and the crowd loses it.

The look of pain on Dante’s face while the crowd chants “Holy Shit!” and both the referee and many members of the crowd have their hands on their heads or covering their mouths in awe says it all. Dante’s back is now bleeding where skin has been torn off. But that’s not all, as Killshot pulls Dante back up and hits the Storm Cradle Driver onto Dante, forcing his already mangled back to crash down into the pile of broken glass, which easily picks up the pinfall for him, evening the match at a fall a piece.

The third fall begins with several soldiers (real life or actors, I’m not sure) standing with a gurney ready to take one man off in an ambulance. And it started will Killshot suplexing Dante out of the ring, but as Dante falls out, he pulled Killshot out and DDT’d Killshot onto the apron. As Dante tries to push the gurney towards Killshot, Killshot runs and jumps over the length of the gurney and dropkicks Dante. Killshot brings Dante onto the top rope and hits a Death Valley Driver off the top rope onto Dante to the outside and onto the gurney. As Dante crashes off the gurney, he leaves behind blood and the literal skin off of his back on top of the gurney.

Killshot straps Dante to the gurney, but he escapes. However, Killshot hits a Killstomp from the stands onto Dante onto the gurney. Dante dives out of the ring and hits a flipping senton onto Killshot, and then he carries Killshot up to the platform where the band plays. He starts to choke Killshot with a guitar cord, staring directly into Killshot’s eyes – ready to kill him, pointing his fingers in the shape of a gun directly on the crosshairs on the forehead of Killshot’s mask. Killshot, however, finds a bottle and breaks it over Dante’s head. Dante wobbles before falling off the platform, crashing through another, larger pane of glass that was set up below. If you didn’t see Dante breathing, you’d have thought he was dead. (Characters legitimately have died in Lucha Underground, although never in front of the crowd.)

The crowd is eerily quiet now as Killshot slowly makes his way back down to the floor, picks up Dante, and carries him out of the war zone and puts him in the ambulance – winning the match, and more importantly, atoning for leaving Dante to die during war.

This was not only the likely conclusion to a brilliantly written, season-long story, but a masterpiece of storytelling. It’s not so much a wrestling match as it is art. As cynical as many of us wrestling fans can become as we watch it for years and years, it’s great to know that there are still performers like Killshot and Dante and writers such as those that work for LU and commentators such as Matt Striker and Vampiro, that, when all of their best efforts combine, can create such a work of art. Crying is one thing wrestling has rarely made me do – it’s mainly only happened after a death or a retirement – the only matches that I’ve cried from were the first four of five NXT Women’s Title matches on the Takeover specials from 2015. Until this match, that is. I found myself, a few hours after having watched it, still thinking about how brilliant it was.

A lot of people who don’t understand professional wrestling will ask you “Why do you watch that fake stuff?” because they don’t understand. Well, whenever someone asks you that, all you need to do is point them to this match. Because once someone watches it, it will change what they think of this art form forever.

UltimaLucha Tres Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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Finally, a show worth talking about. This Wednesday marks the beginning of UltimaLucha 3, the WrestleMania of Lucha Underground, the show that will blow any WrestleMania in recent years out of the water. I am so pumped for this – the only downside is that it’s over the course of four weeks which means for agonizing weeks of work before I know everything that’s going to happen. But from 9/27 to 10/20 we’ve got four shows that I’m sure will all be excellent as Lucha Underground always is.

Now, before I get into the predictions, I was to mention a few things. First, some of the match graphics are crappy photoshops (Do you even call chopping things up in Paint photoshopping?) so I apologize for that. Unfortunately LU hasn’t put them all up on social media by now like they normally do so I did what I could. The ones that look normal I just screenshotted the images from the most recent episode after buying that episode on iTunes.

Also, I do know the match order but I’m not going to list it. However, I do know there are two matches that happen that are NOT announced yet but I have no idea what those matches are. A solid guess is Serpents vs. Rabbits for the Trios Titles and something that combines The Mack, Aero Star, Joey Ryan, Cortez Castro, and a few others I may haven’t mentioned. I want to throw PJ Black and Mariposa in there but who knows.

That being said, let’s get into it. And we’ll start with a poorly photoshopped one for fun.

Texano vs. Famous B

What’s that? You’re not surprised that Texano is part of the match I’m least looking forward to? Shock! Anyways, whereas I wasn’t interested in his first UltimaLucha match, this should actually prove amusing just because Famous B is hilarious. Also his arm is broken right now because of Pentagon so that should make it even sillier. Now, it’s being called a handicap match and I’m not sure that it’s just because Famous B has a broken arm or if he may end up with a mystery partner. Regardless, since Famous B gets Texano’s contract if he wins, I’m fairly sure he’s going to find a way.

Prediction: Famous B

Ivelisse vs. Catrina

This match was made for UltimaLucha Tres on episode one of this season. Let’s think about that – 35 episodes ago. You know when that episode aired? Septermber 7th, 2016. One year and twenty days before this match actually airs. But, this feud has been built since the original UltimaLucha. Catrina cost Ivelisse and company the Trios Titles after hitting Ivelisse with the stone, and then she cost Ivelisse her Lucha Underground Title match on episode one of season two, and she cost Ivelisse her match with Taya at UltimaLucha Dos. Catrina’s been fucking with her for ages and naturally we’ve wanted to see her get revenge. It’s unfortunate that Ivelisse got injured AGAIN this season and we haven’t seen her since somewhere in the first half. We haven’t seen her since 2016. But anytime Jeremiah and Catrina are on tv that counts as buildup. Regardless – as much as I love Ivelisse, her backstage attitude and her dumb tweets about depression notwithstanding, I can’t foresee Catrina losing her first match. I mean, Catrina can just disappear out of people’s clutches – how can she possibly lose?

Prediction: Catrina

Cage Match
El Dragon Azteca, Jr. vs. Matanza


The first half of the season ended with a Death match between these two, and now we’re getting a cage match after we’ve circled back around to it. So, what exactly did Matanza do to Rey Mysterio? Will EDA finally get the revenge he’s been seeking since he got to the temple? I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised but the smart answer is no.

Prediction: Matanza

Mask vs. Hair
Fenix vs. Marty the Moth


Fenix continues to be the one really good wrestler they have that I can’t get into. His character isn’t sympathetic and his attitude towards women when in matches against them is unbearably annoying. His match against Mariposa just pissed me off especially since I LOVE Mariposa. And Marty is awesome, but as much as I want him to win, I can’t imagine how he’s going to make that happen.

Prediction: Fenix

Ladder Match for the Gift of the Gods Championship
Pentagon Dark vs. Son of Havoc


Now while this kind of seems thrown together last minute since they don’t really have a feud, this should still be great. While Pentagon failed to win the title at UltimaLucha Dos and he’s still over as hell, it’s hard to not root for Havoc after being screwed out of the main event of this show by Dario at UltimaLucha Dos – and if he wins, he could still insert himself into that main event. And maybe he will. That being said I still want that main event to be one on one so I don’t really know what I want to happen. Maybe Havoc will win but Pentagon will be pissed and break his arm so Havoc won’t get the main event.

Prediction: Son of Havoc

Last Luchadora Standing Match
Sexy Star vs. Taya


Now this is going to be a tad weird after recent events in AAA, but this match was taped a year before that happened so it’s not really relevant. Still, Taya had better win, even though I’m fairly positive Sexy Star will win again. But now – moving forward, when season four happens (it’s going to happen stop pretending it won’t), it’s possible there won’t be anymore Sexy Star because of all that’s happened – so I’m hoping Taya wins. Also, is that spider story still happening with Sexy Star? Does it have anything to do with Ricky Mandel’s photos??

Prediction: Sexy Star

Hell of War Match
Killshot vs. Dante Fox


This is either the match I’m looking forward to the second or third most, depending. Dante Fox is fucking awesome. And so is Killshot. I’ve become such a big fan of Dante in a limited amount of time. And this storyline has been great and this match is going to be insane. It’s two out of three falls – I’m not sure if the falls will have stipulations. I’m not really sure if I care who wins that much – the winners are the crowd.

Prediction: Killshot

Cage vs. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes

This match is also going to be insane. I love all three of them so much. And if I can just say, I’m so happy that Sami Callihan left NXT and is now here because him as Jeremiah Crane is everything he could have been in WWE and so much more. Now this is being called a Gauntlet Match and I’m not sure if it’s just because it’s for the gauntlet or because it could actually be a gauntlet match. I hope it’s still a triple threat. Also this is going to lead to the conclusion or continuation of one of the season’s biggest stories – will Cage keep the gauntlet and Dario and the mysterious lord get what they want to do Jeremiah or Mil get the gauntlet for Catrina to give to her mom, Captain Vazquez, so Catrina gets the amulet? I have no idea how all of that’s going to play out.

Prediction: Cage

Career vs. Title Match for the Lucha Underground Championship
Johnny Mundo (c) vs. Prince Puma


And finally, the match we’re all waiting for – Johnny freaking Mundo defending his Lucha Underground Championship against Prince Puma. The first main event of Lucha Underground – season one, episode one; the final two in Aztec Warfare 1 to crown the first Lucha Underground Champion; the first All Night Long match. Johnny and WWU winning the Trios Titles from Puma and Rey and EDA. And now this, the main event of UltimaLucha Tres, with Puma’s LU career on the line. This match will be great, we already know that. And sadly it’s a little anticlimactic since we know Ricochet’s not going to come back next year, so we know he’s not going to walk out with the belt. But we still don’t know if either Havoc or Pentagon could have anything to say about it.

Prediction: Johnny Mundo

Well, the review’s not for a month, so get some popcorn and enjoy the shows.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

WWE No Mercy 2017 Review, Comments, Etc.

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Well, I would actually say that was a fairly good show, although there are some things to take issue with.

I have to question why the match that started the show was The Miz vs. Jason Jordan. You’d want to start the show with something hot and this wasn’t it. It’s not that the match was bad, because it was a fairly enjoyable match – but this feud isn’t hot and the Jason Jordan storyline is floundering. He’s a good wrestler but the story is so fake that it’s not going to go anywhere – and stop making manufactured nepotism an issue when real nepotism is running rampant within the company. Anyways, it was a decent match but of course Jordan was “cheated” out of a win so sadly it will continue.

Rating: **1/2

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt was next and I have to say – I enjoyed this match more than either of their previous two. I was really into this and enjoyed the psychology of it. But, commentary – a “Man vs. Man” match? LOL. That’s what every wrestling match involving two dudes is. “Bray suckered Finn into this match?” Um, what? He suckered Finn into a kind of match he’s had a ton of times? WHY ARE WE ACTING LIKE FINN WOULD’VE BEEN THE DEMON AT ALL?

Rating: ***1/2

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins defeated “The Bar” to retain the tag titles in another really good match. I’m really happy to see Ambrose and Rollins together because it’s the spark the tag division has needed on Raw. We still need more well built teams around them and we need Ambrose/Rollins vs. Revival to be the endgame here. Regardless this match was great – although commentary was awful during it.

Rating: ****

Alexa Bliss sadly retained Sasha Banks’s WWE Women’s Championship in a pretty good Fatal 5 Way. I had a fun time with it even though Alexa retaining again was deflating. Also, Bayley ate the pin again because?? Have her pin Nia.

Rating: ***

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns was what it was. It was really just Roman Reigns is SO FUCKING OP yet again. He kicked out of FOUR AA’s, one off the top rope, two directly back to back. What the actual fuck. I don’t have a problem with the first one and the super one, but then the two back to back ones? LMAO. And Cena lost from two Spears, one through a table.

Rating: ***1/2

Well, we’ve come to the somber part of this review. Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve gathered here today to pay respects to the death of the Cruiserweight Division – so everyone, please, take a knee. The Cruiserweight Division, much like sanity this country, died today. A blithering idiot won the Cruiserweight title today, and a blithering idiot thinks that he can foolishly get people to boycott the NFL. (Because, you know, people will ever stop watching football. Also, he should realize that when conservative morons such as himself try to boycott things, it makes those things wildly successful because then even more people will watch than ever because they won’t have to deal with watching things in the presence of racist nazis at the same time! Conservatives – making things better by going and hiding under a rock! Regardless, everyone that takes a knee is far more American than Trump supporters and their blind patriotism (AKA douchebaggery) since those who take a knee are doing it to help repair a nation that the President broke so you know, keep pretending that they’re protesting a piece of fabric (MUH FABRIC!!) and a song while you continue to love pretending to be persecuted and that your freedom of speech is being “infringed upon” meanwhile you keep doing things that ACTUALLY infringe upon free speech. Conservatives – the biggest hypocrites to ever exist!) Anyways.

Rating: DUD

And Brock retained the title which makes me sad. Honestly the second Braun was in the Kimura for a long time and Braun started selling the arm I got deflated. Any chance he had of winning disappeared. Sigh.

Rating: ***

Anyways, outside of the Cruiserweight Title match it was still a pretty good show.

Overall Grade: B-

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-

WWE No Mercy 2017 Final Card and Results

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WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman
My Winner: Braun Strowman
Probable Winner: Brock Lesnar
Winner, and still WWE Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar

Roman Reigns vs. John Cena
My Winner: Meh
Probable Winner: Roman Reigns
Winner: Roman Reigns

Fatal 5 Way for the WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Emma vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax
My Winner: Sasha Banks or Emma
Probable Winner: Alexa Bliss
Winner, and still WWE Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (c) vs. Sheamus and Cesaro
My Winners: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
Probable Winners: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins
Winners, and still WWE World Tag Team Champions, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt
My Winner: Finn Balor
Probable Winner: Finn Balor
Winner: Finn Balor

WWE Intercontinental Championahip
The Miz (c) vs. Jason Jordan
My Winner: The Miz
Probable Winner: The Miz
Winner, and still WWE Intercontinental Champion, The Miz

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs. Enzo Amore
My Winner: Neville
Probable Winner: Neville
Winner, and new WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Enzo Amore

Wrestling PSA 9/20/17: Stupid Stalker Fans

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It’s really sad that this entire post needs to be done, but it seems to be becoming a thing now. We’re getting people in the business talking about it now – not just fans.

So, we all love wrestling, right? Well, I’m assuming you’re a wrestling fan if you’re reading this because if you aren’t…well read on if you want, I suppose. I’m not going to stop you from reading. So, naturally, we all have an appreciation for the people who are on our tvs entertaining us, right? Right. I mean, even if we aren’t particularly fans of them, we respect them to a point for getting in the ring and putting their bodies on the line each week, several times a week, and so on. (Well, assuming they aren’t garbage humans, anyway.)

Still, we all have our favorites, and we’d love to meet them. Or, if we just happen upon one of them, it’s still cool to meet them given the opportunity.

Now, as long as we’re all respectful of their personal space and their time and so on, that’s cool.

But, unfortunately, with the age of the internet and just idiot fans in general, there now comes along this sect of fans that go far beyond the realm of respectability. We now have fans who look up where wrestlers stay while they’re in town and also looking up their flight information and just happening to be at the places these wrestlers are. They’re there just for autographs and pictures that they just want to sell on eBay.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the real world, this is called STALKING.

There is no other word to describe it. You are all stalkers.

And then, when the wrestlers are rude to them, they act indignant. They act like they, the STALKERS, were wronged.

NEWS FLASH

You.Are.Stalkers.

When you are the one doing the wronging, you can NOT be wronged.

You are why we, as wrestling fans, are looked down upon. You make us look like the trailer trash stereotypes most people have of wrestling fans.

Do NOT go to their hotels. Do NOT go to the airport. If you happen upon them at random, THAT is fine. But do NOT go looking for their information.

If you go to a hotel that you know wrestlers stay at, you are stalking. It doesn’t matter if you know there are any wrestlers there or not, you are stalking. You should be in jail.

If some of the wrestlers are nice, that’s cool. But you have literally zero right to be mad if they treat you like the assholes that you are. I have zero sympathy for your sorry asses.

At this point you’re barely wrestling fans anymore. You are garbage fans.

If you are wrestling fans like you claim to be, you would have respect for the wrestlers and leave them be. If you’re old enough to figure out where they’ll be, you’re old enough to know better than to actually do it.

Now, this seems to be centering around Sasha Banks these days because she’s really one of the first to step up and put the fans in their proper place for doing this. It was really only CM Punk before her that it was fairly well known that he didn’t like fans doing this kind of shit like him – and yea there were entitled fans bitching about it – but there were never any people in the actual business talking about him. It’s only now that it’s happening with Sasha that people like Shane Douglas and apparently Bubba Dudley, Jerry Lawler, and Chris Masters are talking about her and calling her out on it – literally victim blaming her for not accepting stalkers stalking her as any normal person would do.

You know, four random guys who wouldn’t have fans stalking them to airports because no one gives that much of a fuck about them these days, so how would they know how this feels? (Granted Masters and Douglas never had any fans to begin with so what would they know about anything?)

Just four nobodies trying to stay relevant by attaching themselves to Sasha by defending stalking.

Seth Rollins has spoken against it too, so let’s give fair credit where due.

If you were Sasha Banks, and you had just gotten to your hotel after having yet another competitive match and there were fans waiting there for you, would you be all overjoyed or would you be annoyed because you just got back to the place where that’s your home for the night and now it’s time to relax? You’d be the latter. Don’t lie to me and say the former.

You all really need to put yourself in that position because you absolutely wouldn’t want people stalking you at your hotel and especially at the airport. You don’t know these fans. You don’t know what they might do. Some might be well-intentioned, but some might attack them. A lot of people in the world are assholes, and clearly a LOT of people do not understand the word no. Look at all the people who get pissed off when they stalk them and are told no.

Like, people are literally stalking Sasha to hotels, then getting mad when she doesn’t want to for obvious reasons, stick around and then try to fight her husband when he comes back out later.

Some people are taking photos with Alexa while she doesn’t have makeup on, then posting it online and asking if people still love her now that they’ve seen her without makeup.

Some people just want the autographs to sell on eBay. Some people just want to look cool on Twitter for being with a famous person.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re stalking them or not, you are not entitled to an autograph or a picture. You are not entitled to any moment of their time. And if you did stalk them, you are certainly not entitled to a polite no. Because there are silly people who think they’re even entitled to a polite no when they do this.

I don’t care who you are. If you did this, and Sasha steps on your dumbass flag, as a friend of mine said reportedly happened to one of his other friends, it’s too bad she didn’t take it from you and set it on fire. If she “hair flipped” a kid as the same friend of mine said reportedly happened (now with a personal bias so it’s left for objective people to judge whether this actually happened in the way he reports because literally anything he says about Sasha now is biased and not to be taken seriously) – it’s too damn bad she didn’t hair flip them so hard that the kids flew into a wall. Kids are extensions of their parents, and while the kids didn’t necessarily do anything wrong themselves, it’s best they learn young from their parents’ mistake that this is garbage human behavior.

If you so desperately want to meet them, go to conventions. Or hope you RANDOMLY run into them. And if you do, be respectful. If they oblige, cool. If they don’t, move on.

You aren’t entitled to anything. And don’t give me that bullshit that you pay their salaries. You DO not. You pay WWE for a chance to watch them entertain you. They are paid by WWE. WWE pays them for their talents. The thought that you pay their salaries because you’re under the delusion that they wouldn’t be on our screens without us is comical because since when has WWE given a shit about who we, the fans, actually like and also disrespects all of the hard work the wrestlers do to get to where they are today – lest you forget that the fan support we give them is a reaction to their talent and ability and skill that they’ve taken years to acquire – We are not why they’re where they are, they are why we are their fans. Anyone who thinks otherwise has it backwards.

So, we’ve reached the end of this. Hopefully this leaves you knowing better. Don’t be a garbage fan. And if somehow you think this is still okay, well then you’re far too delusional to ever reach. Hopefully you end up in jail sometime quite soon. And, well, maybe you think I’m an asshole, but I’m not wrong.

WWE No Mercy 2017 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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Well it kind of feels like forever since there’s been a PPV, even though it’s only been a month. And, to be fair, the card for this looks decent, but I just don’t really care about anything in WWE at the moment. In a general sense, everything sucks, and even if there’s some good stuff going on, I have no investment.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs. Enzo Amore


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Prediction: Neville

WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Jason Jordan


I’m sure this match will be fine but really, who cares? Is anyone going to actually get behind Jason Jordan as Kurt Angle’s son? He’s not a bad wrestler, but this storyline is stupid and the fucked up thing is that they’re playing a bogus nepotism story with him when we know it’s faked all the while actual cases of nepotism like Charlotte and Roman are running rampant.

Prediction: The Miz

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Are we really doing a “I bet you can’t beat me without body paint on!” story??

Prediction: Finn Balor

WWE Raw World Tag Team Championship
(c) Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (c) vs. Sheamus and Cesaro


Well the SummerSlam match was really good, despite the idiots with beach balls, so I’m sure this will be the same.

Prediction: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins

Fatal 5 Way for the WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Sasha Banks vs. Emma vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax


Well, WWE has gone and fucked up again. Even when you finally think they figured out their shit, they went back to it. Apparently it wasn’t just a Charlotte’s PPV Streak!!! ZOMG! thing. It’s a WWE is even dumber than we all thought thing. If Sasha is going to win the title and lose it back eight days later, DON’T HAVE HER WIN IT AT ALL. DO YOU NOT COMPREHEND BASIC LOGIC? All you did was give actual wrestling fans hope that you were going to give the title to the best person in the entire division. But instead you have her lose it back and immediately have Nia Jax attack Alexa so now Sasha gets to play third fiddle to two much lesser talents. And then you throw Emma into it for reasons – and don’t get me wrong, FINALLY – but kayfabe-wise what has Emma done to deserve this title shot? Come back, lose, change her theme twice to worse themes, win once, and now we’re here? Going to have to do better than that for me – even though Emma is easily the second best performer in this match behind Sasha – and let’s be truthful, she did start the women’s revolution! And Bayley – well, I love you Bayley, but coming back and just inserting yourself into a title match – no thanks. Sigh – you know you’ve pushed someone too hard too fast when I’m annoyed by an actually good talent, but calm the fuck down with Alexa Bliss already. I mean, I like her – she’s good, there’s absolutely no denying that. But she’s only JUST good, and there’s no denying that. She’s been on the main roster for somewhere around 450 days or so and has been champion for 220 of them. This is Charlotte levels of bullshit – and she’s better than Charlotte, but still – she’s not good enough to be champion for as long as she has been. Fuck, when Nia attacked her I thought that meant a face turn and that would basically be the end of Alexa because for those of us who’ve seen her as a face – lord is she bad. But she’s come to the main roster based off of huge reactions due to her facial expressions, moderate in-ring ability, and basically trying to be an A.J. Lee ripoff which, I mean, I’ll always get behind, but she’s not quite there. (Oh, and don’t forget the asshole dudebro fans who like her because her butt makes their penis happy (Actual text someone I sat next to at an NXT show got about Alexa)). But this overpush has actually made people believe Alexa is THAT good. They actually THINK Alexa is the best. Kayfabe is real for a lot of people, sadly. Can’t actually look at things objectively. I guess we’ll call it the Charlotte effect because the worst thing the overpush of Charlotte did was actually make A LOT of people have the delusion that Charlotte is some kind of god when she’s literally the second worst female performer in the company that’s actively competing. And now it’s happening with Alexa – someone who’s good but objectively she’s in the middle to upper-mid level of female talent that they have. Objectively she’s a B. But now we have delusional fanboys who think she’s some kind of god when literally everyone that’s not Nia Jax in this match is miles better than her and it’s not even remotely close. For example, people think Alexa somehow outperformed Sasha in the SummerSlam match even though that match was set up for the heel to dominate and the face to come back – it literally had nothing to do with her. But I guess it’s still real to them, somehow. Sasha is literally everyone in the division’s best match and that’s not a coincidence. Emma is everything Alexa is and so much more. Bayley is far better at what she does than Alexa. And Nia is pure trash. I fucking dare you to make the right decision, WWE – and I dare you to actually run with it. Until you do that, your revolution is nothing more than a joke because you can’t put the title on the one that deserves it more than anyone on the roster and keep it on her at the same time.

Prediction: Alexa Bliss

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Am I supposed to care about this? Am I supposed to be happy this isn’t happening at Mania? I don’t know – you tell me, WWE – tell me how I’m supposed to feel about this match like you’ve been trying to tell me how I feel about both John Cena and Roman Reigns for years now.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman


I really want Braun to win but it’s just not going to happen.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Anyways, review Sunday as always.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans

!bye

-Mzrc-