Well, Fast Lane didn’t piss me off like Elimination Chamber did, but it also was nothing spectacular and has confirmed things for Mania that I have no interest in. It was just blah and didn’t really need to exist.
Shinsuke and Rusev opened the show in a fairly good match but it doesn’t really do anything. There’s no story and it doesn’t do anything for either guy, really. Shinsuke won which you knew would happen, and Rusev is over as fuck as a heel who should be a face but is losing….
Bobby Roode and Randy Orton had a really long, boring match that ended with Randy Orton winning the U.S. Title because….why? FML. Good job, WWE, you put the U.S. title to an idiot who says All Lives Matter and thinks God isn’t allowed in our schools even though too much God is allowed in our schools. And then Jinder got involved so you know we’re getting a triple threat at Mania which is the only way to make this worse.
Becky Lynch and Naomi faced Carmella and Natalya in a decent match until Natalya got in the ring near the end and botched up a storm. But it’s Nattie, what do you expect?
New Day vs. Usos was enjoyable with them all doing each other’s moves until the Bludgeon Brothers came out and beat the shit out of them, causing a no contest, which is about the only good thing on this show. That’s a triple threat I don’t mind at all.
Ruby Riott tried her hardest to get a good match out of Charlotte but, well, Charlotte. It was fairly decent until both teams got kicked out because the faces were booted and Riott Squad cheated but it led to literally NOTHING so who cares? Ruby does need a new finisher though. Charlotte retained, no one cared, Asuka came out and made everyone still delusional enough to think Charlotte is good cream their pants because they’re under the delusion that Charlotte/Asuka is a dream match when really Charlotte couldn’t hang with Asuka if she tried.
And the Six Pack Challenge was basically a finisher fest as we knew it would be, and Shane McMahon ruined everything and needs to be fired. A.J. retained. Hurray.
You could have had a good Mania card, but instead we’re getting trash. Good job WWE.
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