Well that show was a piece of garbage. Even the few things I liked wasn’t enough to make me care.

Samoa Joe vs. Sami Zayn was good enough, although I can’t say there’s much to write home about. It was good, but I don’t think we’re going to be talking about it in a few months. Joe wins. The only comment I have is that it was somewhat illogical for Joe to attempt a Muscle Buster that Zayn counters, but Joe kicked him in the head and he stayed on the top rope – why wouldn’t Joe go for the Muscle Buster again instead of then trying a superplex?

Rating: ***

The Club defeated SAWFT to retain the WWE World Tag Team Championship in an alright match. The Club pushed Enzo’s leg off the rope in the pinfall so we’re continuing this. Joy.

Rating: **

At some point there was a useless segment with Foley talking to Stephanie on the phone and it served no purpose. Although Mick would later tell Joe that Stephanie didn’t want him to interfere in the main event as if he had any reason to, or any reason for use to believe that he would.

Sasha Banks defeated Nia Jax in an average match because fuck your nepotism, Nia.

Rating: **

Then, because WWE hates us, Jinder Mahal had a way too long match with Cesaro which Cesaro thankfully won, and then Rusev had a way too long match with Big Show which Big Show won so shoot me. I don’t even like Rusev but he deserves better than this shit.

Rating: DUD

Also, this crowd can fuck itself. Stop chanting USA at russians – you’ve got morons in the front row with “CNN is fake news” and some other bullshit and I’m assuming those weren’t meant to be jokes and those were really just Trump Baboons there to be dickbags as always, so why would you boo the Russian? YOU LOVE RUSSIANS!! Also you’d think WWE would be intelligent enough to remove such pathetic signs and ban these people from events like normal people would, but no, keep those snowflakes in the front row! (They must have hacked their way in, they certainly couldn’t afford those tickets. Marks.)

Neville defeated Jack Gallagher in a pretty good match – honestly it might have been the best on the show. Also, Austin Aries really wants to talk about his package.

Rating: ***

At some point New Day wasted some of our time with a bicycle.

Roman Reigns then defeated Braun Strowman CLEAN because nepotism and stupidity. No Undertaker or nothing. Absolute bullshit. I’m sorry Braun – you deserve so much better.

Rating: ***

Bayley DEFEATED Charlotte CLEAN to RETAIN the WWE Women’s Championship BECAUSE FUCK YOUR NEPOTISM, CHARLOTTE. FUCK IT SO HARD. HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU CHARLOTTE YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOOD BUT YOU AREN’T. FUCK YOUR PPV STREAK SO FUCKING HARD. YOU’RE NOT THE CHAMPION AND YOU AREN’T GETTING IT BACK ANYTIME SOON OH WHO AM I KIDDING YOU’LL PROBABLY WIN IT TOMORROW BECAUSE FML. Anyways, I assumed it was a forgone conclusion that Charlotte was going to win so I didn’t let myself get super invested, but then Bayley won and all was kind of right in the Raw Women’s Division. (EXCEPT THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SASHA SO FUCK ALL OF YOU ANYWAY.) Also Sasha still didn’t turn heel and Charlotte’s going to still think she’s owed a rematch because she’s an idiot.

Rating: ***

And then Goldberg defeated Kevin Owens after two moves because at least Jericho won to save some credibility. Joy.

Rating: DUD

Overall it was a garbage show, even if there was a few things I liked – and most of it was just to troll WWE. I don’t know why you choose Fast Lane to be the PPV Charlotte’s streak dies. Really it’s so wrong. But whatever.

Overall Grade: D

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