Well, we might be on a highway to hell as our country is quickly and undeniably being destroyed by fascist dictators, but on the bright side, WWE has actually made a Royal Rumble that I’m not positive who is going to win. That’s not really a fair trade off, but it’s at least saying something. I’m fairly excited for at least the Rumble and Styles vs. Cena.

Becky Lynch, Naomi, and Nikki Bella vs. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Natalya
Because apparently we can’t just have Becky vs. Mickie and Nikki apparently has to be on the show, we get this. I hope Naomi is ready to be pinned because that’s the only reason she’s here at the moment.

Prediction: Team Alexa

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Rich Swann (c) vs. Neville

Even though I’m glad Neville is a heel, I’m still not paying much attention to the cruiserweights because WWE has done nothing to make me feel like they matter.

Prediction: Neville

WWE Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Bayley

Don’t get me started. So either Charlotte retains and we all continue to die a painful death, or Bayley wins just to lost it back to Charlotte in a week, right? That’s how this works, right? Because this feud has been underwhelming at best – Charlotte’s a terrible heel and Bayley needs a good heel to work with, otherwise it’s just a flat storyline. We really need Bayley to win and Sasha to turn heel to get to a storyline worth our time.

Prediction: Charlotte

WWE Universal Championship
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Roman Reigns
I wish I cared but I don’t. Forgone conclusion that Roman’s going to win because he lost the U.S. Title. It’s too bad WWE isn’t bright enough to make Jericho win the Rumble to have him face Owens for this belt, or for Zayn to do so.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. John Cena

I’ve actually waffled back and forth on this match a few times and I’m not entirely sure who will win. I thought Cena was going to because I thought Taker was going to face him, but now I don’t know. Maybe Styles will retain, maybe not.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

Royal Rumble Match
Significant Participants:  Goldberg, Brock Lesnar, Undertaker, Braun Strowman, Dean Ambrose, Chris Jericho

This is the first time since 2011 that there’s been a Rumble match where I wasn’t positive who was going to win before it. We knew HHH would win last year, Roman in 2015, Batista in 2014, Cena in 2013, and we all at least assumed Jericho would have in 2012 even though we were wrong. And while I do have a way I think this is going to go, I can’t say that with 100% certainty. I know Goldberg and Brock will not win, however. I can say that. I could have seen this going one of three ways. One, Jericho wins to feud with Owens, but I’m positive Owens is losing the title, so I doubt it. If I’m wrong and Owens retains, this possibility becomes more likely. Two, Undertaker – the easy way to set up Cena vs. Taker, but that’s probably not happening anymore, so no need, unless Taker is going to face Reigns? And three, Braun Strowman – I think that’s what’s going to happen since I think he and Reigns will fight at Mania and this is the easy route there. Now, who do I want to win? Probably Sami Zayn if Owens were to retain, or Dean Ambrose if Reigns won and Ambrose switched shows.

Side note: How much does it suck for Rusev that the people who booed him for a fake association with Vladimir Putin are the same people who voted to help elect someone with actual ties to him? That’s got to burn.

Prediction: Braun Strowman

Review Sunday as always.

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