It’s time for the 2017 WWE Wish List – where we go over the things I wanted in 2016 from WWE that I wrote a year ago, and then I tell WWE that…..THEY JUST MADE THE LIST! Well, sort of. Then I make a 2017 Wish List.
So let’s go over the 40 things I wanted this year and see how they did.
In 2016 I wanted the following:
1) Pay Per View sets must start being different from Raw and Smackdown sets. These are your special shows, make it seem like them. Also, the crowds in the arenas must not be lit up red or blue anymore. It’s really annoying.
They failed at this. They did change the stages, but they still remained the same throughout the shows.
2) WrestleMania must be referred to as WrestleMania 32 and not just WrestleMania. Or I will refer to it as WrestleMania Star.
3) Kevin Owens, Neville, and Dolph Ziggler must have their characters repaired and their credibility restored. Dean Ambrose must also be allowed to be his full self because he’s clearly holding back.
Neville was fixed as of a night ago. KO is the Universal Champ but he needs his NXT character back. Dolph is beyond saving.
4) Sasha Banks must be pushed as the top star of the women’s division. She must not be used to drag around her burden of a team and must not become some kind of stereotype.
Well, she’s not dragging her burden around, but all they’ve done is pretend to push her while really just making her Charlotte’s bitch. Sure she won the title 3 times but in a few years no one’s even going to remember the title wins because her reigns lasted 3 weeks at most just so Charlotte’s pathetic PPV streak could continue and making Sasha look like a joke – while Sasha’s one of the best wrestlers in the world and Charlotte has the mic skills of a screaming kumquat.
5) They must stop playing the Total Divas theme when showing the women walking to the ring. This is wrestling, not trashy tv.
I think they fixed this?
6) Paige must win the title again, and she must be booked properly. At no point should she ever get seven title matches or more over the course of twelve months and not actually win the title. That’s giving her nothing while appearing to give her something. At no point should she ever be on a losing streak, at no point should she ever lose to weaker opponents. She went from, as a face, not being able to beat the heel who had a heel in her corner because of cheating bullshit, to being a heel and not being able to win because she was a heel, to being a heel facing a heel with a heel in her corner and lost to cheating bullshit again.
No, I’m not getting into this shit of a situation. At least not yet.
7) Now that the real women’s wrestlers are on the main roster, useless to mediocre divas must be removed from the company. It’s time to take out the trash – keep the Bellas, Eva, Cameron, and unless she improves, Naomi, off the television. They can remain on Total Divas if that show must remain, but on the WWE product they must not exist.
Cameron was released. Brie retired. Eva needs to get the fuck out. Nikki has become somewhat bearable? I think?? Naomi needs to fuck off.
8) Roman Reigns must be booked like he was at the end of TLC and on Raw this past Monday.
9) Hell in a Cell and TLC must stop being PPVs.
10) The Bellas, Hornswoggle, Titus O’Neill, Heath Slater, Eva Marie, and R-Truth must be fired.
2/7 of them are gone.
11) Now that Alberto Del Rio is back in WWE, he must win the World Title in order to lose it to Dolph Ziggler, then get slap another racist and quit again.
Well, he quit again before it could happen.
12) Now that NXT is finally having a show in Chicago, next December’s Takeover must also be in Chicago.
13) The opening of Raw must not be a 20 minute Authority promo every week.
Well it’s not an Authority promo but it is a 20 minute promo.
14) Money in the Bank must not go to people like Sheamus EVER again.
15) King of the Ring must never return unless it’s going to be used to make someone into something.
16) Bayley must debut.
17) If Eva Marie isn’t fired, she must never win the NXT Women’s Title.
4 in a row!!
18) If they can’t come up with a decent card for WrestleMania, they must allow NXT to run it.
Damn they broke the streak.
19) Sasha Banks must win the title from Charlotte, change it back to the women’s title, then break Nikki Bella’s record.
Uh, they changed it to the Women’s Title, but we’re still waiting on the rest of it.
20) Charlotte must stop being her father
Failed. BIG TIME.
21) Big Show and Kane must never exist on my tv again
22) PPV themes must be from good bands and not trash
23) Slammys must not be given to hashtags
No slammy’s so, success.
24) The fact that a show is changing networks in a year must not be used as an excuse to not make that show good until the network change happens ever again
Success I guess.
25) Donald Trump must be removed from the Hall of Fame
Now more than ever this is necessary.
26) A.J. Lee must be put into the Hall of Fame. Trish and Lita are there, and A.J. is up there in name value and is better than Trish.
27) The Usos must stop being the John Cena of the tag team division.
28) The Lucha Dragons must be pushed. Also Blake and Murphy and Enzo and Cass must be called up.
29) ALL NXT TALENTS MUST BE BOOKED WELL. (Really, all talents must be booked well.)
30), JBL must stop saying that the Bellas think they started the “Divas Revolution” whenever there’s a women’s match that doesn’t even involved the Bellas. Or ever.
31) LEO FUCKING KRUGER.
32) Machine Gun Kelly is added to the list of music acts WWE must refuse to associate with ever again.
Don’t remember if we saw him this year.
33) New commentary teams are needed. Corey Graves, Renee Young, Tom Philips, among others, need to be used. No more Cole, King, or JBL.
34) If Daniel Bryan is cleared to wrestle, WWE must allow him to do so.
Neither success nor fail
35) The Royal Rumble must be used to give someone who deserves a title shot at WrestleMania a title shot.
36) Bella stans must die a horrible death. Every single one of them.
Still waiting for them to die. Charlotte stans added to this.
37) If WWE can get A.J. Styles, Jay Lethal, and/or Austin Aries in NXT, that’s be great. Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin are also acceptable. And Bobby Roode.
38) Better writing, better booking, better stories, less PPVs, less part timers, no older wrestlers beating younger wrestlers (well, no one from the attitude era beating someone from now), no using old stars for rating boosts
Smackdown has good writing and booking, Raw does not. Stories? Not so much. MORE PPVS NOW so EPIC FAIL. MORE part timers. So, mostly fail
39) Dana Brooke and Nia Jax must improve before given the belt.
Well they haven’t improved but they haven’t gotten a belt either.
40) Triple H must take over the booking and creative direction of the show
Alright, so in 2017, we need:
1) Raw must use the same writing team as Smackdown. That or EVERYONE I like on Raw MUST be traded to Smackdown so I do not have to watch Raw anymore.
2) WWE must dedicate one episode of Raw for Charlotte to lose and win the Women’s Title 12 more times so we can get her inevitable 16 title reigns out of the way, and warn us in advance so we can all skip that episode. That way we can get the inevitable out of the way and perhaps move on to women’s champions that are actually good and stories that are good.
3) The Paige situation must be resolved. Either release her like she clearly wants or give her the push she actually deserves when she returns.
4) At some point we need a Shield vs. Wyatts vs. New Day vs. Club match
5) WWE MUST stop scheduling Total Bellas or Total Divas on the same night and at the same night as Lucha Underground and pretend that any of their fans ACTUALLY watch their reality show trash when the best wrestling show on tv airs at the same time.
6) Sasha Banks, Bayley, Emma, and Becky Lynch must ALL be in important matches at WrestleMania. Charlotte vs. Bayley and some meaningless tag match is NOT acceptable.
7) Charlotte must lose for a straight year on PPV, or at least pushed according to her talent and not her last name. No one with the mic skills of a geoduck should be the centerpiece of the division when she’s surrounded by so many who are better than her.
8) Sasha Banks MUST turn heel and show everyone exactly why people have called her the best wrestler in the world. She MUST win the title and KEEP the title and have feuds with Emma and Bayley before dropping it to either one of them.
9) Normally when there are people I hate on the roster, I want them fired. But, in this one special case, Mojo Rawley needs to die a slow, painful death.
10) JBL and David Otunga must stop being commentators.
11) The cruiserweights need characters and stories. They must be allowed to compete on the level of the CWC. Because right now we’re close to JBL saying that the Bellas started the Cruiserweight Revolution.
12) There must be an NXT Takeover: Chicago.
13) WWE must announce that 2018’s Royal Rumble will be in Chicago. We’ve been waiting far too long.
14) Any fan that chants C.M. Punk, Harambe, Hey We Want Some Bayley, JBL, What, or Boring must be shot and killed. No exceptions.
15) WWE must NEVER have a best of 7 series that contains 9 total matches and result in a mathematically impossible tie, only for the competitors to become a tag team.
16) WWE needs to learn that we’re not going to cheer Enzo for being a misogynist.
17) Bray Wyatt for World Champion.
18) People must realize how damn good Luke Harper is and he must win his own title.
19) Dolph needs to not be an ignorant douche on Twitter.
20) We must not get any more Brock vs. Goldberg matches
21) Roman must defend the U.S. Championship and act like it means something to him.
22) WWE must stop acting like the U.S. Title is more important than the Universal Championship.
23) James Ellsworth must die.
24) Cesaro needs to rid himself of Sheamus ASAP. We cannot allow for Sheamus to be to Cesaro what Swagger was to Dolph.
25) WWE must explain why Jinder Mahal was rehired again. And also, Curt Hawkins.
26) Asuka MUST debut.
27) Shinsuke Nakamura and Samoa Joe must debut.
28) Alberto Del Rio must never be rehired.
29) A.J. Lee must be put into the Hall of Fame.
30) Charlotte must never win matches with Big Boots ever again.
31) The WrestleMania 33 theme must be a Nice Enough People song.
32) Raw either needs to stop sucking or stop using a Shinedown song as the theme so a song by my favorite band isn’t associated with garbage
33) WrestleMania must actually be good
34) The Revival must be brought up and have more matches with SAWFT, American Alpha, New Day, the Club, and DIY.
35) Natalya has got to go.
36) Naomi needs to stop having seizure-inducing entrances.
37) Now that women have main evented PPVs, it needs to happen more often.
38) WWE must never use a song by one of my favorite bands in a buildup video for a match my favorite wrestler is in if she is going to lose.
39) WWE needs to stop having the same PPV in the same arena for multiple years in a row.
40) Whatever the fuck an Emmalina is, she needs to show the fuck up already.
41) WWE must stop not caring about their programming during football season. Football is for marks.
42) LESS PPVS. No more HIAC and TLC PPVs.
43) All “fans” that think that their favorite wrestler gets to be the champion solely because they’re their favorite wrestler must stop watching wrestling. Just because Sasha and Charlotte have been feuding for months doesn’t mean your favorite is being held back from championships or something. When I see a comment on a Sasha vs. Charlotte video that goes “#JusticeForSummerRae” that only goes to show how much of an idiot you are. Firstly, she’s injured. Secondly, WHAT THE FUCK HAS SUMMER DONE TO EARN A TITLE? Storylines don’t end in three weeks. Summer isn’t credible. The title isn’t something you pass around to everyone just because they’re there. YOU HAVE TO EARN IT. Stop deciding to have your favorite be a jobber and then pretend they’re being held back when they aren’t on tv – you just have terrible taste in favorites. I’m sure Miz will send you a nice participation award, though.
44) Mick Foley needs to be replaced. He’s ruining his legacy.
45) WWE needs to show us they are progressive and NOT tell us. Have women main event PPVs. Have women wrestle men. Have women win non-women’s titles. Do NOT have women lose matches to moves that wouldn’t end any men’s match we’ve ever seen. Have women have feuds based on hatred just as men would. That said, that hatred shouldn’t be catty, diva-ish bullshit. No slut-shaming. No feuds that are centered around their boyfriends. Stop it with the “All women hate each other” bullshit. Men must not be the deciding factor of a women’s match.
46) WWE must stop having people lose in their hometown.
47) WWE must stop having people break someone else’s record because of petty bullshit. First Nikki Bella did it to A.J.’s, and now New Day potentially did the same with Demolition’s.
48) Now that Linda McMahon is part of Trump’s cabinet or in a position or whatever (No one really cares), WWE must at least realize that she is not running for senate and no longer needs to be PG and childish because of it.
49) Big Show and Kane must retire.
50) Seth Rollins needs a new finisher.
51) Cesaro must get a new theme.
#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BAMF #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine