The fuck did I just watch? That show was literally the antithesis of NXT. I’m not really mad from most of the results, but there were just so many terrible booking decisions throughout the entire show. I just felt like most of this show was WWE telling the fans to go fuck itself. Again, the tag match results weren’t what I was expecting but I’m not mad by them. It’s a few of the other results that tick me off, and for the most part it’s how most of them were done.
The five on five Women’s match opened the show. Nikki was replaced by Natalya after someone attacked her backstage. This was WWE saying “Smackdown’s going to lose but Nikki can’t be pinned.” Which is bullshit, because she’s not the champion, she’s not the captain regardless of whether they say she is or not, and is anything but credible against the likes of Sasha, Bayley, Charlotte, and Nia. Do you think anyone is going to think Nikki looks weak from being pinned by one of them? She’d be too strong if she pinned one of them! Get your act together. Also, Carmella getting eliminated by Alicia Fox is unwise – Alicia is the biggest jobber in the match and has no business getting an elimination. AND HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HAVE NATALYA ELIMINATE SASHA. Natalya is worse than Nikki. Sometimes. Absolutely pathetic. The final three in the match should’ve been Sasha and Bayley vs. Becky – the unequivocal best on both teams. I can live with Charlotte and Bayley being the sole survivors – it makes sense because that’s the obvious next feud. But Becky should’ve eliminated Sasha – no one else has that right. But in all honesty I wanted Becky to run through all of the 4HW and win. The match was clunky and I was annoyed by most of it.
The Miz defeated Sami Zayn in a good but predictable bullshit Maryse got involved match to retain the IC Title. A good match ruined by predictable booking we could’ve seen a mile away. But if this leads to Sami Zayn ending up on Smackdown, that’s a win in my book.
The 10 on 10 tag match was as much of a clusterfuck as I expected it to be. Breezango got eliminated within the first 10 seconds by New Day and then New Day was eliminated by the Usos 10 seconds later, so that was some bullshit. This whole match turned into some bullshit attempt to get the crowd to accept Cesaro and Sheamus as a team AGAIN and it’s not going to happen. Stop trying to make Cesaro and Sheamus happen, WWE. It’s never going to happen. But they’re the sole survivors and no one cares.
Brian Kendrick retained the Cruiserweight Championship by DQ when Baron Corbin came in and attacked him first and then Kalisto. The match was entertaining but the crowd pathetically chanted CM Punk like the morons they are and the Cruiserweight Championship staying on Raw is literally telling us “Fuck you, the division is staying on Raw where it will continue to mean nothing at all and they’ll have pointless matches for the rest of time.”
The main event 5 on 5 match was the best match on the show by far, but was riddled with booking problems itself. First, Shane McMahon is far too overpowered, and shouldn’t be wrestling anymore, either. Why is Shane, at 46, who hasn’t wrestled since 2003 besides the WM32 match, and isn’t a trained wrestler to begin with, able to do everything he did in this match? He clotheslined Braun Strowman over the rope. Bullshit. Jericho beat the fuck out of him, then hit a Lionsault which Shane got his knees up, but clearly he was supposed to roll Jericho up into a pin but didn’t, because Jericho clearly had to tell him to. Then he ate a Codebreaker and kicked out of it. Bullshit. It started to feel like it was going to take Roman Reigns and his nepotism to beat him. And it did. Shane went for coast to coast on Reigns which we knew wasn’t going to hit because Reigns was clearly ready to move – only he Speared Shane out of the coast to coast and nearly killed him. He went for the pin and no one’s sure if Shane kicked out or not but the ref called for his elimination because he seemed dead. Maybe don’t do this anymore Shane. You’re old. Strowman got counted out and that’s probably the right move there – Ellsworth held onto his leg at the last second so that was okay. Owens got DQ’ed because he hit Styles in the head with the list of Jericho. Jericho got eliminated from an RKO. And once it was Rollins and Reigns against four people, you could just feel it. It was just going to be some Roman Reigns overpowered bullshit, wasn’t it? Well that’s what we thought. Ambrose came down and they did the Shield triple powerbomb on Styles through an announce table, which eliminated Styles. (Shane was eliminated before this.) Luke Harper then came out and it was Shield vs. Wyatts. Rollins went for a Frog Splash on Bray but got RKO’ed out of nowhere and eliminated. And then we were like “Hmm, I wonder if Reigns could possibly overcome these odds!” And he didn’t, actually. He went to Spear Bray but Orton took it instead, Bray hit the Sister Abigail and that was it. So the Wyatts are the sole survivors – the single bright spot on this show. A bit long and booking issues throughout, but the only really good match on the show.
Oh, and Brock vs. Goldberg? After all that hype? Goldberg hits two Spears and a Jackhammer and won in a minute and twenty six seconds. So, let me get this straight – WWE has Brock Lesnar end the streak. Sets him up as this huge monster. He destroys Cena, wins the WWE Title. Only loses it in a triple threat and isn’t pinned. Feuds with Taker more and beats him in HIAC. Beats Ambrose handily and nearly killed Orton. And then he loses to Goldberg, who is 50+ years old, hasn’t wrestled in 12 years, has an injured shoulder, and is not in good ring shape, in three moves after getting no offense in? Go fuck yourself, WWE. You just threw the Streak away for THAT. You just punked out YOUR ENTIRE ROSTER. No one can do anything to Brock but Goldberg can. Fuck off. Words cannot express the stupidity.
To sum up, Brock vs. Goldberg was a match booked by WWE 2K’17 that lasted 90 seconds. Which is fitting, because that’s about as much time one can have playing WWE 2K’17.
Overall, this show took away all of the joy of being a wrestling fan that NXT had given me just last night. Last night was awesome. This show just enraged me. I don’t even know what to give it – for the most part the wrestling was solid, but the booking was awful. If the main event wasn’t such an atrocious fail, maybe it’d be a C. But I can’t do that.
Overall Grade: D
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