So I’m typing up the Raw portion of this while listening to this super awkward Stone Cold-Dean Ambrose interview and it’s hella awkward. In case you didn’t watch, it’s just odd. Kind of like this Raw tonight.
Some of this Raw was okay, but there was some strange things on this show. The opening stuff with SAWFT and Jeri-KO was great – probably the best part of the show. The back and forth between them and the match and all was good. Probably one of few actual highlights. Although, Enzo – don’t treat Sasha like she’s some kind of prize to be won. And also, no homophobic jokes please. Firstly, NO. Second off, you’re a face. Be better.
Seth Rollins and Finn Balor both cut a pretty good promo on each other. Balor’s was taped. Seth’s confused me for a second when he said “Demon King” because I heard “Demon Kane” every time. Outside of those things though, I’m not sure there was much else worth checking out on this show.
Although, the Club’s stuff on New Day did make me chuckle.
I guess maybe the Rusev stuff wasn’t terrible either, I just don’t care much about him and Reigns. I hope Rusev faces Xenophobia at WrestleMania – that’s his worst foe anyway. I might just start rooting for him because I’m sick of xenophobic gimmicks. Also, I wish his promo about the Olympics was this week so he could make some kind of joke that it’s not a surprise that the U.S. got a gold medal in shooting.
I have no idea why Neville and Sin Cara fought the Dudleys but it happened.
Why does Sasha Banks need to beat Dana Brooke to make sure she’s banned from ringside when Charlotte already said she was going to beat Sasha on her own? Isn’t all of this grounds for a cage match?
Also, fans, stop with the What? chants. Fuck off. It’s 2016. Also, stop with the CM Punk chants. He quit. He’s not coming back. Fuck off.
You can’t be part of the women’s revolution here and also chant CM Punk during their matches. You are an idiot. You are the problem. GET THE FUCK OUT. DO NOT COME BACK.
If you can’t stupid chants during talented people’s matches, you are not allowed to come to the show. You need to be loud. You need to chant. You do not need to chant stupid things. You, the crowd, ARE NOT THE SHOW. I am not watching the show TO SEE THE FANS TRY TO GET THEMSELVES OVER. YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT. WE DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK, YOU FAILURES. So fuck you, fuck your what chants, fuck your CM Punk chants, fuck your Hey We Want Some Bayley chants, and stay the fuck home, you marks.
Cesaro beat Sheamus again fair and square.
Foley had Bryan join him on Raw in the main segment and it advanced basically nothing – they just apologized for last week’s sneak attacks between Orton and Lesnar. So then Rusev came out and was annoyed at having to defend against Reigns at SummerSlam, and then Cesaro came out and said he beat Sheamus twice so he should get a title shot.
So Cesaro and Rusev had a U.S. Title match that you knew Sheamus was going to interfere in because instead of Cesaro and Sheamus being done because Cesaro won twice clean, Sheamus has to fight Cesaro again and lose at SummerSlam for no reason at all or win which would be dumb as fuck. WHAT WAS THE POINT?
Also, where the hell is Sami Zayn? He wins a huge match at Battleground against Kevin Owens and now he wasn’t even on the second to last Raw before SummerSlam, has no storyline, has no feud, has no match at SummerSlam. What the fuck.
At this rate just do an interpromotional match between Sami Zayn and Bray Wyatt because they both have nothing.
Nothing else of note, so I’m stopping here until Smackdown.
Smackdown was a the better show this week, no question about it.
Although it did involve the tag match I knew would happen between the Wyatts and Ambrose and Ziggler. No surprise there. Dolph Superkicked Dean in the open, Dean gave Dolph Dirty Deeds at the end. Ambrose and Dolph won, no surprise.
You know, this Dolph as #1 contender thing just proves to me that WWE does not give a single shit about wins and losses. They don’t care about building people up naturally. They will push you, and when they get bored, they’ll just job you out to the point where you’re a joke that can’t be believed. And then they’ll randomly decide they like you and push you, expecting everyone to cheer you like they used to, but then no one will because they don’t care anymore. WWE just does what they want – there’s no long term planning whatsoever.
American Alpha had a squash match victory and apparently all the tag teams had to watch.
Becky Lynch was going to have a match with Eva but Eva’s top fell off because reasons and stupidity, so she had a match with Alexa Bliss instead which is a better alternative. Sadly Eva comes back out with music – because music apparently always distracts people in a wrestling match. (If I was ever in a match and heard music, I would ignore it because it has nothing to do with the task at hand.) So Alexa gently trips Becky, takes fifteen seconds to get to the top rope, hits her finisher and wins. I have no problem with Alexa winning – but you think I’m supposed to believe that that weak little trip is enough to keep Becky freaking Lynch down for 20 seconds to take the finisher? That’s some bullshit. Becky Lynch would have moved by then.
Orton beat Del Bitchbag Von Fuckenstein because why not?
Heath Slater lost to Rhyno. Joy. I wonder how Jinder Mahal feels about betraying his friend for that Raw contract last week and now this week he wasn’t even on the show.
Carmella beat Natalya. Carmella’s mic work needs a little work.
Baron Corbin beat up Kalisto.
The Miz and Maryse laid on a desk and stared at each other weirdly.
Anyways, that’s pretty much all for this week. Smackdown was better. Be better next week.
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