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So, I’m starting to write this an hour after Raw has ended. I will be saving this as a draft and publishing after Smackdown when I’m done with Smackdown commentary. Of course you will not have seen this until after it’s all said and done so you won’t know the difference!

Anyways. Last week’s Raw was epic. Finn Balor was pushed right into the title match and Sasha Banks won the Women’s Title. Amazing. This week…..Well, this week was the antithesis of last week. It was ungood. As far as the stories going into SummerSlam in terms of matches we will be getting or matches it looks like we’ll be getting, I’m completely okay with them. But as far as this show tonight is concerned, it just annoyed me for the most part. I don’t think there was a singular moment that stood out as anything that we’ll remember in a few weeks. I will always remember last week’s Raw for those highlights we got – this week there was nothing.

The show started with Sasha Banks. When I saw Sasha Banks enter before anyone, I immediately got high expectations for the show. I thought “Holy shit we’re starting with women not named Stephanie!” That never happens. I was excited and happy that they would give this spot to the women. Progressive is always the way to go. Where this segment went, however – I can’t determine if I liked it or not.

Sasha talks for a little while and it was cool, and naturally Charlotte interrupted her which is fine. They had a pretty decent back and forth going, and I liked that Charlotte said she was going to win it back without help. And then Jericho’s voice comes over a microphone telling people to be quiet. So Jericho comes out and sides with Charlotte, so I’m just waiting to see who was going to show up to side with Sasha. Because I just know it’s going to happen.

Of course, me wishing WWE would learn to be progressive and being the feminist that I am wished Sasha would just shove Charlotte out of the way and put Jericho in the Banks Statement like she should have, but WWE isn’t that bright.

WWE: “Hey look at this awesome Women’s Revolution we’re having!”
WWE: *Women aren’t allowed to stand up for themselves against men and need men to do it for them.* *Women can only slap men.* *No man can touch a woman after she slaps him.*

Trololololololol.

WWE: Where We Pretend to Be Progressive But We’re Owned By Mattel So Fuck You!

So out comes Enzo and, weirdly Cass doesn’t come out with him, and he starts hitting on Sasha because reasons. And then the four of them run each other down and it’s – well, it’s not that it wasn’t entertaining, but it just seemed awkward to me for a bit. I liked it for what it was, but I wasn’t really a fan of it happening to begin with. Sasha and Charlotte don’t need men talking for them. They don’t need men to validate their existence. It’s like they were half assing what could have been a cool thing that the women got to be on first, without having any appearance by dudes which is kind of like WWE saying “We trust you to open the show, but not enough to carry the whole open.” Run with it or don’t do it.

So Foley comes out there and I’m thinking – “Ok, WWE, you have a chance here, no matter what I thought of this segment, to do something good here. You keep pushing the ‘New Era’ stuff, so you now have to put your money where your mouth is. You say that it’s a new era and you announce this as an intergender match and I’ll give you credit.”

I mean, these aren’t some nobodies in the ring. It’s not, like, Titus and Eva vs. Mojo and Nikki that are in there. These are people who can handle themselves. Jericho is a vet/legend and Enzo is great, and Charlotte and Sasha can certainly hold their own against them. These women can go – they know what they’re doing and can fight anyone.

But no, they call it a mixed tag and I immediately don’t care. I want to take your women’s revolution seriously, and sometimes you seem to be doing things right, and other times you seem to be falling on your ass. This week is an example of falling on your ass. Last week was an example of doing things right. And you started off pretty well today, but then it went up in smoke.

Now, to start the match I got really confused as to why Kevin Owens was on commentary. Not that I mind him being on commentary, because Owens is the best and he can do commentary all night if he pleases, but it didn’t seem to make much sense. But, I figured that the direction of this was going to lead to Jericho and Owens vs. SAWFT at SummerSlam and that’s what seems like is going to happen – and I’m all in for that. It answers my “What are they going to do?” question from last week. And if I had to guess, Zayn will face Cesaro now because what else is there? And I’m all for that.

And, should Sasha have been pinned here? She hasn’t been pinned/submitted at all on the main roster up until two weeks ago, and now she has been pinned twice in two weeks.

On a random note, and this goes out to Road Warrior Animal – Go fuck yourself. Sasha Banks is not being “shoved down people’s throats.” To be shoved down someone’s throats, you need to be bad and be pushed to the moon anyway. Like the Bella Twins. The Bellas were shoved down our throats. Sasha Banks is one of the best wrestlers of all time. No question about it. Her being in Muscle and Fitness is not her being shoved down our throats. “Let her get over on her own?” What have you been smoking? SHE’S VERY FUCKING OVER. Did you hear that pop when she won? Did you hear all the Yes chants and the You Deserve It chants? THAT’S CALLED BEING OVER. PERHAPS YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT’S LIKE ANYMORE? Besides, she’d whoop your ass. Who are you in comparison to Sasha Banks? That’s right – a jobber in comparison.

Braun Strowman and Nia Jax had more squash matches which is fine – I imagine this will happen for a while.

The Shining Stars need a new gimmick for me to take them seriously and Golden Truth need to stop being a thing.

Finn Balor had an interview, which was good. But he was interrupted way too quickly by Seth Rollins to me. Balor has been on the main show for two weeks – let Balor get some more mic time on his own to show the crowd who he is. But the back and forth with Balor and Rollins was good.

Also, internet, when you complain that WWE isn’t pushing the younger or newer talent all the time – but then you can’t also complain that Balor is being hot shotted into the title picture. Figure out what your problem with the company is and stick with it.

Rusev defeated Mark Henry to retain the U.S. Title as expected. So I’ve been hearing for weeks that Kurt Angle is coming back, and I thought he was coming back last week, and with what we got last week, I’m cool that it didn’t happen. Rusev had a match and lost. Now this week, he beats someone who’s been an olympic athlete, then goes on a tirade about the U.S. olympic athletes being bad or whatever and – you know, somehow this seems like the exact perfect place for a Kurt Angle return – so out comes Roman Reigns.

>.< LOL ok. Well, we know what Reigns is doing now at SummerSlam, I guess. Somehow I’ve been on a roll of rooting for Rusev for three straight PPVs now even though I’m not a huge fan of his.

Darren Young and Titus O’Neill had a match. Together. That could be a storyline but instead you just made them have a match together. I skipped it because I don’t care.

Cesaro defeated Sheamus in an alright match. Good decision.

New Day and the Club had a quick match and New Day won via rollup and it was stupid. Made no sense to me.

Heath Slater showed up with Jinder Mahal this time and Mahal pinned him for a contract when Foley said they’d have to fight each other for the last spot.

Seth Rollins defeated Sami Zayn in a good match but nothing exceptional.

And Paul Heyman cut a nice promo alongside Brock Lesnar and as he’s saying Orton won’t hit an RKO on Lesnar, Orton shows up and RKO’s Lesnar and runs through the crowd as security chases him. It was fun, however we’re two weeks into the brand split and already people are showing up on other shows. I’d like them to not do that for a while, otherwise it doesn’t feel like a brand split at all.

From what I’m hearing, it sounds like the overall response is that the show was good, but I was just underwhelmed by it after what we got last week. What is being set up for SummerSlam I like, though. Anyways, that’s all for Raw. Saving here and waiting for Smackdown.

Okay, as far as Smackdown is concerned – I enjoyed it more than last week. I guess that means it was better than Raw to me because Raw annoyed me and Smackdown only annoyed me a little.

First off, D-Bry – it’s Apollo Crews, not Apollo Creed. LOL.

So the opening with Dean and Dolph was done pretty well. I’d have liked it to last longer to be honest. We need as much of this fire out of Dolph as we can and we need it NOW. Bray attacks Dolph and they set up a match for the main event with the title shot on the line.

If we’re being honest here, I wish Bray would have gotten into the title match. Make it a triple threat, I don’t care. I’m starting to think that they really need to push Bray NOW and push Bray TO THE MOON. I want him dominating the entire roster. I want him as champion.

I wouldn’t be super excited at Bray vs. Dean because we’ve seen it too much still. But I want Bray to run this shit.

Apollo Crews earned an IC Title match with Miz at SummerSlam after defeating Baron Corbin and Kalisto. Corbin beat down Kalisto after the match.

Becky Lynch came out for a match against Eva Marie, but Eva faked an injury once she got to the ring and left. Turns out Becky had more of a match with my bookshelf earlier today when her action figure fell off of it inexplicably. Becky still won that match, though.

Carmella was backstage with Renee Young for an interview but got interrupted by Natalya because the world hates me.

American Alpha had a solid debut against the Vaudevillains.

They showed highlights from the Teen Choice Awards that John Cena hosted on Sunday and during it they showed random stars talking about Cena, including Ritesh Rajan and Kyle Harris from Stitchers which is probably the closest I’ll get to Allison Scagliotti being involved in a WWE show – someone who’s on a show with her being on it instead. =/

A.J. Styles and John Cena had a pretty good in ring promo segment setting up a SummerSlam match. I don’t mind Cena pandering but please be a little less long winded. A.J. was pretty good – particularly annoyed at the whole participation award thing because apparently those are things the stupid like to mock. Styles should be above that.

Randy Orton had a match with Fandango but got F-5’ed by Brock Lesnar during it because somehow Lesnar worked two nights in a row.

Carmella came out for a match but got attacked by Natalya because the world hates me.

Heath Slater got gored by Rhyno because reasons. They’re going to have a match next week.

Someone on Twitter said a couple days ago that Smackdown was going to be interesting for fans of former WWE superstar Victoria. Apparently they thought the fact they were bringing a sign that said “Victoria for HOF Please” would make things “interesting” for her fans. No, that just means you brought a sign, you fucking dope. Stop making us think people are coming back only for it to be nothing.

Dolph defeated Bray in a nice match to keep his spot in the title match. He undid the turnbuckle pad after Bray loosened it and used him to help him win. This wasn’t done as a heel turn, however, which is the problem. It was a “I’ll do anything to win” but he needed to use an exposed turnbuckle to beat someone who isn’t even the champion. Bray Wyatt also kicked out of Dolph’s finisher. This doesn’t really help his credibility.

The show needed to end with Dolph attacking Dean, using the same exposed turnbuckle, and so on in turning heel. They didn’t do that. Instead Erik Rowan came out and attacked Dolph, and Dean goes in to help, so needless to say the two of them will be teaming to face the Wyatts next week. So we’re just going with the “Competitors have to team up” trope. Hurray!

Also, if Erik Rowan is still with Bray, then why were they drafted separately, you dopes? Also, Bray needs to do the “I’m here” before every entrance.

So, all things looking ahead to SummerSlam, I’m probably going to always end this with a SummerSlam lineup. So far we have, or are practically guaranteed to have:

Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor (Universal Title)
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler (WWE Title)
Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton
Sasha Banks (c) vs. Charlotte (Women’s Title)
Rusev (c) vs. Roman Reigns (U.S. Title)
Miz (c) vs. Apollo Crews (IC Title)
New Day (c) vs. Club (Tag Titles)
Jericho and Owens vs. SAWFT
Cesaro vs. Sheamus or Sami Zayn*
Sami Zayn vs. Neville*
Wyatts vs. American Alpha*
Becky Lynch vs. Eva Marie*

*I think we’re going to get Cesaro vs. Sheamus or Cesaro vs. Sami. If the Wyatts are still together, then them vs. American Alpha makes sense. Sami has to fight someone if Cesaro is fighting Sheamus, and the only person I can think of is Neville – but why would they fight? Sami has to fight someone – they can’t have him get such a big win over KO and not have him on SummerSlam. Becky also has to be on this show so maybe they’ll stretch this Eva thing out until then, but I know Eva will win so shoot me. Either way, this is a pretty stacked card.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BAMF #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #IsItOctoberYet? #IsSeason3OfLUHereYet?

!bye

-Mzrc-

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