Money in the Bank 2016
Because the one thing Roman Reigns needs to have more than the WWE Championship is the Money in the Bank briefcase. That way when he cashes in on himself the fans will cheer that Roman lost and boo that Roman won at the exact same time and the universe will implode. On one hand, the card on paper – half of it looks quite good. The top billed matches should be great, and the fatal 4 way should also be fun. The rest of it I could do without. But that being said, the build for it hasn’t been that great.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin
Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin
Why is this happening again? Why is Corbin not in the ladder match? I mean, obviously he wouldn’t win, but he should be doing something above this. There is absolutely no reason why these two needed a best of five series. (Or is it a best of 5? Didn’t Corbin win the most recent one by DQ? I don’t know I didn’t watch it.) Corbin wins and we move the hell on.

Prediction: Baron Corbin

Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus
Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus
When this feud started I was at least somewhat interested. Then the build has become almost nonexistent. But I think this match could be good.

Prediction: Apollo Crews

WWE U.S. Championship
Rusev (c) vs. Titus O’Neill

Rusev vs. Titus O'Neill
Someone please tell me how we got here. Like, seriously. A year ago the U.S. Title meant something. Now it means absolutely nothing. So much for Rusev losing it right to Cena, lol. But, what has Titus do to earn a title shot? Come back from suspension? That’s like getting a title shot for no longer being injured. Not to mention, all he did was show up and attack Rusev several times. He didn’t win a contender’s match or anything. And, Rusev is already a channel changer for me. I don’t think he’s a bad talent or anything, but I’m just not interested in the anti-USA gimmick anymore. I don’t care. And Titus is the definition of channel changer too – he’s talentless and should just go away for good. It’s clear they feel bad about his silly ass suspension that should’ve never happened, but you don’t get title matches on PPVs because of it. So dumb. And I can’t believe I’m going to have to watch this – this is such a Raw match I should be fast forwarding through. Also, when I’m rooting for Rusev, things are screwy. No more of this, WWE. Please.

Prediction: Rusev

Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch and Natalya
Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch and Natalya

Why are we dragging the awesome Becky Lynch into this mess? First you pain me with a Charlotte/Natalya feud. Then you make it last two months. TWO MONTHS OF CHARLOTTE AND NATALYA TALKING AT EACH OTHER. Ric Flair somehow tells Natalya to kill herself somewhere in here and we do the whole Montreal Screw Job thing in one of the matches. Because Ric can’t interfere in the second one and we can’t just let Charlotte win like a dominant champion on her own, Dana Brooke who doesn’t even belong on NXT yet is now put with Charlotte, because we didn’t already have enough bad talkers in this – between Charlotte and Natalya and Ric when he’s drunk which is most of the time, we certainly don’t need to add Dana’s annoying as fuck catchphrase of Playtime is Over in this too. They must have realized that because they removed Ric from the situation when Charlotte cut one of the worst promos I’ve ever heard on him (and somehow a ton of people PRAISED this promo as one of the BEST women’s promos EVER. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU ON?) Absolutely awful. Now the Charlotte/Natalya feud should be completely over because Natalya tapped to Charlotte clean – I don’t care if there was a distraction, tapping out is a choice and if you choose to tap out you lost clean. There is absolutely no excuse. So Natalya shouldn’t even be on my television anymore but here she is, and she is dragging the beloved, unhateable, awesome Becky Lynch into this mess. I just want Becky to break all of their arms and then Sasha can come back and Paige who has two pinfall victories over Charlotte in the past month so where the fuck is her title match and then Bayley can come up and we can have a women’s division without this much pain. And if Natalya’s team wins, NATALYA DOES NOT GET A TITLE MATCH. SHE HAD HER CHANCES AND SHE FAILED. GO HOME AND STAY HOME. ALSO VINCE IF THE RUMOR THAT YOU WANT DANA TO BE THE ROMAN OF THE WOMEN’S DIVISION IS TRUE RETIRE NOW YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. SHE’S BARELY BETTER THAN EVA MARIE. FUCK OFF.

Prediction: Charlotte and Dana Brooke

Fatal 4 Way for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The New Day (c) vs. SAWFT vs. The Club vs. The Vaudevillains

The New Day vs. The Vaudevillains vs. SAWFT vs. The Club
This match should be fun. That being said, I only see either the New Day retaining or the Club winning. But, I don’t think that’s going to happen in this match – the Club needs to win the titles in my opinion, but it doesn’t need to be in this match.

Prediction: The New Day

John Cena vs. A.J. Styles
John Cena vs. A.J. Styles
This match will be great. But I’m a little annoyed with how this came about. I really don’t like how A.J. split from the Club only for them to join back up with him a week later. It just didn’t click with me – it felt like WWE had made a decision that week to do one thing and then the next week they decided “Nah, bad idea” and went back on it, instead of it just being some kind of smokescreen to make Cena think A.J. was on his side before he turned on him. I thought maybe that the Club would turn on him during this match, but I don’t think that’s even in the cards anymore. And the whole indy guy “You can’t beat me” thing at Cena is kind of a tired trope to me now – it worked for Punk. And I guess it worked for Bryan. But I don’t buy it with A.J. – I don’t buy him as the pissed off guy that Punk was that’s bitter. And he hasn’t been in the company long enough for the casual fans who don’t know shit about wrestling to know how good he is from seeing him elsewhere. Anyways, I think A.J. will win this. You know this isn’t going to be the only time they face each other, and I don’t see the logic in there being a second match if A.J. loses the first one. Maybe if he was still a face and lost a first one, and then turned heel I could see that, but since he’s already turned, I think he’s got to win the first one. Whether it just be clean or if there’s some BS with the Club even though he signed a contract to do it alone or if Finn Balor shows up. I don’t know. But I think A.J.’s going to win the first match in some fashion.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio

Dean Ambrose vs. Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho vs. Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Kevin Owens
Wasn’t there supposed to be seven people in this? Whatever. I hope the Wyatts show up soon. That being said, this probably one of the best filled out MITB matches in recent memory despite Alberto Del Rio being in it. And, actually, the only person winning that I would be annoyed by would be Del Rio. And he’s not winning so it doesn’t matter. Jericho would be an odd choice but I wouldn’t be mad about it. But I think there’s only two logical choices to win here, and that’s Dean Ambrose if we’re going to push that Shield Triple Threat idea soon, or Kevin Owens seems like the most logical choice. And I’m currently all in for KO here – he makes the most sense, he’s the best thing on the show, and I want him with the briefcase. But there is something nagging at me saying that Ambrose is going to win this.

Prediction: Dean Ambrose

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Seth Rollins
Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
Like Cena/Styles, another SummerSlam-worthy match on MITB. And also, the build has been average. Rollins should be face, Reigns should be heel, sky blue, water wet, etc. And while the match should be quite good, I just have a feeling there’s going to be some kind of bullshit for a finish, if there even is one. Rollins is definitely not walking out with the belt. I don’t know if he’s just going to get pinned for 3, but I can tell he’s not winning the title. Maybe Ambrose with the MITB case will cause some chaos, IDK.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

Well, that’s the card. And realistically, outside of the crap, the show should be good.

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