Fast Lane 2016
Fast Lane is here and, if you’re like me, you’re kind of looking forward to it. And you’re kind of indifferent to the rest of it. On paper, most of this looks decent to good. And apparently I have to talk about the preshow because it has a title match on it.

Two out of Three Falls Match for the WWE U.S. Championship
Kalisto (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio

Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio
Raise your hand if you forgot this match was happening. I did. When the league of nations is on my tv, the tv is fast forwarding. I have no time for them. They are a waste of space. This match will be good. Kalisto will retain. And then Del Rio can fuck off.

Prediction: Kalisto

WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Brie Bella

Charlotte vs. Brie
Well, I was totally going to rant about why jobber Bella was getting a title shot out of nowhere when the Bellas have been rightfully relegated to Total Bullshit related matches where they’ve belonged all along. Now that the real talent has taken over, they have no place here. But since Daniel Bryan retired and Brie is leaving soon too, and I know Charlotte’s going to win and Becky and Sasha have a match and are the real endgame for Mania, I’m going to let it go just this once. But really, how cringeworthy was that segment on Raw? I’m not sure who is worse on the mic – Charlotte or Brie. I want to say Brie, but I’m not sure. It was painful. Also, why is this feud really Ric Flair vs. Daniel Bryan? The progress towards making women’s wrestling respected on the main roster has started, but it’s clear from that that there’s a long way to go. And it starts with how they are presented to the crowd. There will be no “Revolution” until the company shows that they are important. And that doesn’t follow from making a women’s feud about their retired male counterparts.

Prediction: Charlotte

The Cutting Edge with the New Day
Cutting Edge with New Day
You can call this a “Cutting Edge Peep Show” all you want but that just sounds like some new age strip club. The only thing I have to say is that I hope this means the debut of SAWFT.

The Wyatt Family vs. Ryback, Big Show, and Kane
The Wyatt Family vs. Ryback, Big Show, and Kane
This is a match that’s happening. I’ve paid no attention to this because Ryback. And Kane. And Big Show. And I just don’t care.

Prediction: The Wyatt Family

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler
Thank heavens Kevin Owens is IC Champ again! It makes the rest of the last month less annoying and almost seems like they planned the whole story with Dolph to lead to a PPV match. And it allows for Dean to seem like he could win the main event. Owens will retain.

Prediction: Kevin Owens

Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs. Naomi and Tamina
Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks vs. Naomi and Tamina
Sasha and Becky, aka BAE, against Sasha’s  Burden. Hopefully this will be good – Naomi did well against Sasha – but her and Tamina’s track record is not great. BAE wins. (BAE is Best At Everything, btw – for those not aware that Sasha and Becky were a team in NXT).

Prediction: Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch

A.J. Styles vs. Chris Jericho
A.J. Styles vs. Chris Jericho
This will be great. A.J. will win. The only thing – will Styles finally hit the Clash? Let’s hope so.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

Triple Threat WWE World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender’s Match
Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Dean Ambrose vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns
Weird when the obvious non-winner is Brock Lesnar. He will get attacked by the Wyatts. Now, the real question is – is this just automatic win for Roman, or will we get something like a double pin on Brock and they both fight HHH?

Prediction: Roman Reigns

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