TLC 2015
Ugh. That’s really how just about everyone feels about this show going into it. Just ugh. There’s no excitement to be had. Or, not much, anyway. In honesty, you look at this card without looking at Raws and Smackdowns recently and you could probably think, outside of one match – “Oh, that looks like it could be a good show.” But the problem is, anyone who’s watched Raw in the past few weeks…months…years is just thinking more along the lines of “Meh.” I’m writing two predictions posts tonight – one for this, one for NXT Takeover London right after it – and it’s really a study in contrast of how to book your product and build excitement for a show. But unfortunately, to get to the good, we have to get through the bad. And after these two shows, of course there will be reviews, and that’ll cap the year off. There will be a review of last year’s “wish list” that I made and a new one for next year, but that’ll be it for the year on this blog – at least in terms of wrestling. I realize I have very few readers if any, so I don’t really need to update anyone on a schedule…lol. I’m going to get through the one match that looks like utter garbage before I get to the rest of it.

Chairs Match for the WWE U.S. Championship
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger (Chairs Match, United States Championship)
Like, who even knew this match was happening? I didn’t. They didn’t even mention it on Raw, and if they did it was while I was fast-forwarding because Del Rio was on my tv screen. And if I’m fast forwarding, I’m certainly not stopping to see what happens if Jack fucking Swagger shows up. Like, how did we even get here? Who even knew Swagger was still employed? Where has he been? He’s been invisible on the product and now he gets a title shot because why? Because he has history with Zeb Colter and Del Rio dating back to WrestleMania 29? Okay, I can approve of a segment between them acknowledging that now that Del Rio is back and paired with Colter, but a feud between the two? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Again, Swagger has been invisible and Del Rio just returned two months ago to no one’s delight and everyone’s dismay, and he beat John Cena of all people to win the belt. We went from Cena’s open challenge to Del Rio winning it off his return and now he’s feuding with some guy who hasn’t been anything on tv since, well, ever. No matter if you love Cena or hate him, that title did mean something when he had it, and it should have been used to make someone when he lost it – it should have went to Owens. It should have went to someone who could use the win. Now we’re back to this kind of shit. Literally, this is exactly what the U.S. Title was B.C. (Before Cena), when it was on Rusev and Rusev was feuding with Swagger over it. I shit you not, Rusev beat Swagger at last year’s TLC PPV to retain the U.S. Title and who was Rusev’s next feud over the belt (PPV feud)? Cena at Fast Lane. Obviously the Rumble was in between. This is just copy and past from last year’s PPV with Del Rio in the spot of Rusev as the person spouting something about America and his own country. All because they have some history in 2013. Like, I get trying to use history, too – it’s a good thing to draw from history. If only Swagger had been relevant and you know, that history been something fans weren’t trying to forget. Let’s not forget that the Swagger vs. Del Rio feud for the World Title at WrestleMania 29 and past that was also a thrown together mess. Swagger had been irrelevant as he always was before coming back from a random hiatus a week before Elimination Chamber with Colter as his manager, and somehow with his Racist Republican gimmick (I know, I know, racist republican is redundant), then he won the Chamber match which pissed everyone off because it was an awful idea. It was Swagger taking Dolph Ziggler’s rightful spot as he always seems to do. Swagger is the bane of Dolph’s career. Like, seriously, the following is a synopsis of Swagger’s career from 2010 to now:

After losing a World Title he’d won from Chris Jericho he never should have won, becomes a jobber.
Gets Vickie to be his manager.
Manager is more over than he is.
Holds Dolph Ziggler down by forcing him to carry him in a tag team.
Finally Dolph kicks him to the curb like the trash that he is.
Becomes a jobber again.
Leaves for a five month break, and not a single fuck was given that day.
Returned on a random Smackdown, and not a single fuck was given that day.
Gets a new gimmick, new manager, and new music.
Wins Elimination Chamber match by last eliminating Jericho.
Gets a World Title Match at WrestleMania.
Gets arrested for speeding, DUI, and possession of pot, still gets title match.
Loses to Del Rio at WM with Colter by his side.
Loses to Del Rio in a handicap match with Colter as a partner the next night.
Dolph cashes in after, wins World Title.
Swagger gives Dolph concussion by “accident.” (Accident my ass)
Loses to Del Rio in number one contender’s match.
Dolph loses title to Del Rio in first match back from his concussion. Thanks Jack. Got to see that live – I’d been waiting for Dolph to be champ for a LONG time. Shock that it was Swagger that cost him that, after holding him down for so long, it continues. Dolph hasn’t been world champion since then.
Swagger and Cesaro become a tag team, which, while it was over, he now started to hold back Cesaro.
After the Real Americans break up, starts to flounder for a few months.
Injures Bad News Barrett, whose star was on the rise at that time. Accident? Doubt it.
Turns face, begins feud with Rusev because “America vs. Russia”. Loses. At some point Colter is “injured” by Rusev. Then loses a U.S. Title match to Rusev at last year’s TLC.
Becomes irrelevant, has done absolutely nothing of note in 2015, barely ever on tv.
Del Rio returns with Colter, wins U.S. Title, spews stuff about America and Mexico, out wanders Swagger from his bunker and gets U.S. Title match at TLC.

That’s Swagger’s last five years for you. Anyways, and this is a chairs match? Why? Because the PPV said there had to be one, and they decide this was going to be the one? Have we established already that Chairs Matches are the dumbest thing in the world? Tables and Ladder Matches use those items to decide the victor. You have to do the same in a Chairs match to make it legitimate. Anyways, Del Rio will retain – otherwise I question WWE’s sanity. (Ok, I already do that.) But there’s no reason to give Swagger a title just like there’s no reason to ever give Swagger a title match. JACK SWAGGER IS NEVER THE ANSWER.

Prediction: Alberto Del Rio

Ryback vs. Rusev
Apparently this match is also happening. I don’t care. You don’t care. No one cares.

Prediction: Rusev

Elimination Tables Match
The Wyatt Family vs. The Dudley Boyz, Rhyno, and Tommy Dreamer

Dudleyz, Rhyno, and Tommy Dreamer vs. the Wyatt Family (Elimination Tables Match)
You know, if the Wyatts were built up to look like monsters like they should be and not jobbing out to old guys, Tommy Dreamer was Spike Dudley, and WWE knew how to book a decent hardcore kind of match these days, I would actually be excited for this. But they weren’t, he’s not, and they don’t, so I’m not. Now, I don’t particularly think this match will be bad or anything – but it’s just lacking. Like, if the Wyatts were booked strong as monsters, and this was the end of a feud between them and the Dudleyz, where they’d week after week taken out the Dudleyz and tortured them until they finally got allies to help them, and it culminated in a violent war in this match – that sounds pretty good, right? Or, at least, it sounds better than what we have. I’m not saying I can write perfect storylines either, but what I have is better than “Wyatts beat up Dudleyz twice, Dudleyz bring out some tables and some old ECW guys just because they know it’s 4 on 2 otherwise.” And I’d be much more interested in seeing Spike return than Tommy – nothing against Tommy, but when the Dudleyz say family, they should mean family and not just other ECW guys. Also, Lilian, you can’t call them Team Extreme. I’m just saying. Also, I’m not even positive that the Wyatts will win, like they should. If they have any sense, the Wyatts win. There’s no positive of the Dudleyz beating the Wyatts – this should’ve been a WrestleMania worthy feud.

Prediction: The Wyatt Family

Triple Threat Ladder Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) New Day (c) vs. Lucha Dragons vs. The Usos

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Usos (Ladder Match, WWE World Tag Team Championship)
There’s nothing wrong with this match in terms of what it is. I’m sure this match will be good. New Day is awesome, Lucha Dragons are great, and despite #LOLUSOSWIN, the Usos are good. It’s just what this could have been that annoys me. I’ve been expecting a New Day vs. Dudleyz vs. Lucha Dragons (Usos can be included if you want) TLC Match for the tag titles here, to kind of be a mock Hardys/Dudleys/E+C TLC Match homage. New Day is your E+C and Lucha Dragons are your Hardys. Plus, I wanted the ladder match to be something else. So, again. this should be good, and the match itself is inoffensive – just more annoyed at what could have been. New Day to win, wouldn’t be mad if Lucha Dragons did though, either.

Prediction: New Day

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Kevin Owens (c) vs. Dean Ambrose

Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose (Intercontinental Championship)
I should be super excited about this one. Owens and Ambrose are great. And I’m sure the match will be good again. I have no doubts about that. Maybe it’s just my disinterest in basically things WWE not named NXT that makes me not care that much. But really, there’s not much of a feud here either. I’m not going to be mad with either result – honestly I want Owens to somehow end up World Champion in the immediate future, but I don’t foresee that happening. Also, ladder match could’ve been this too.

Prediction: Kevin Owens

WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Paige

Charlotte vs. Paige (Second Rate Women's Championship)
As an aside, I wish I could stop calling this title the Second Rate Women’s Title – I really do. I don’t mean it as a disrespect to the performers involved – anyone following knows I love Paige and I think Charlotte is good. (She has several flaws, but overall, she’s miles better than others. I think another thing that throws me off about her is that she kind of looks like noted Republican cuntdonkey Ann Coulter, and that’s a huge problem. (I didn’t come up with that term, don’t yell at me. https://twitter.com/JennyJohnsonHi5/status/260594768516612096) Anyone who looks like Ann Coulter should want to change their face asap to not look like such a terrible human being. Anyways, I digress. The “second rate” part of the title name comes from when they introduced the divas title while the women’s title still existed, so I almost immediately just started calling it the second rate women’s championship. It’s not meant as a disrespect to the performers – or really, performer – it does go down from second to third or fourth depending on who has it. It was Third Rate for most of this year on Nikki Bella and Fourth Rate for about six days after she’d broken A.J.’s title reign. Second Rate is as inoffensive as the name of this title can be until they bring back the women’s title, assuming that were to ever happen. It’s simply about the belt itself – and even if there was a first rate women’s title in WWE, it’s in NXT anyway.

That being said, I’m angry. This should have been the ladder match. You had the opportunity to make this a ladder match and you blew it. You’re starting to make some progress – slowly, but you are – with the women on the main roster. If someone disagrees then they’re too jaded to see that. They’ve started to make some progress post Hell in a Cell. It’s slow progress, but it’s there. And you could’ve taken a big, or at least a good step forward by making this the ladder match. There’s a good enough feud for it to escalate past a normal match, so don’t give me that excuse. There’s more reason for this to be a gimmick match than almost any of the other ones that are actually gimmick matches. And, can we talk a little bit about heels and faces here? Like, who is what? Paige turned heel. But she’s getting cheered. Charlotte’s starting to do heel things. But Becky’s getting screwed out of matches and Paige is messing with her mind. They say they’re kind of turning Charlotte heel, which is fine – but common sense says Becky is also going to turn on Charlotte. If Becky doesn’t play a role in this match then there’s something wrong. Common sense says that Becky should want Paige to win because of Charlotte screwing with her matches last week, and that she made Paige tap on Smackdown this week, so she should want Paige to have the belt so she can take care of her problems with Paige too and win the title. (Is a PCB triple threat at WM in the works? It seems like it could be. Meanwhile, WE WANT SASHA.)

Charlotte just beating Paige here doesn’t work for me. Paige has been in the title picture seemingly all year and what has she gotten from it? Nothing. People complain about her getting opportunity after opportunity – if she doesn’t win the belt, then she hasn’t really gotten anything. She got those opportunities because there literally was no one else at the time to put in that position. Nikki vs. Paige happened for so long because there were no alternatives. PCB was on top because Charlotte beating Nikki was the endgame. Paige going after Charlotte now is a remnant of that storyline – the “revolution” was to help Paige fend off the worthless Bellas and now that that’s happened and someone else has the belt, she’s pissed. That makes sense, and anyone who is outraged about Paige getting title match after title match doesn’t understand how wrestling works. This isn’t some kind of charity show where someone gets an opportunity, then loses and someone else gets that opportunity. You only get an opportunity if you are talented. You only get opportunities if you’re worthy of tv time. This isn’t “Well, Paige lost her match, it’s Naomi’s turn.” This isn’t some kind of charity act where everyone gets a shot just for being in the business. No one gets an award just for participating. You have to earn it. Naomi hasn’t earned it. If she was good enough, she would’ve done so. And that’s why when they tried to force it in April after A.J. left, it failed miserably. The Bella stans that were so pissed that A.J. was on top forever and not the Bellas – it was because A.J. earned that spot and the Bellas did not. Then suddenly they decided to contradict what I said about giving an award for participation when they allowed Nikki to hold the belt for 300 days. There are no turns – if you don’t earn it, you don’t get it, end of story. If the alternative to Paige is Naomi or worse, you go with Paige every time. We will not sacrifice the quality of matches so that other people can have a modicum of tv time. That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works. Just because you love Cameron, that doesn’t mean Cameron deserves a title shot. And, in fairness, she doesn’t deserve tv time at all. You may like her. That’s cool. That doesn’t make her good. That says more about you than what it says about her. Your favorite doesn’t get to be champion just because you like her. End of story.

Paige deserves the title now more than ever. Unless they’re building up Sasha now to chase Charlotte, there’s nothing going on with Charlotte. Unless Charlotte is turning heel, then who does she face? Becky’s the only option. Which is fine, but then where do you go? The division doesn’t have a solid mix of heels and faces – there are too many heels. Charlotte and Becky are the only faces and both I have questions about right now. If Charlotte turns, I guess it’s Becky vs. everyone. These team things have got to go and they have to go now, while there’s still time. Otherwise we’re going to be locked into a perpetual state of the same matches again, which was the problem to begin with. We are just no longer in a position where three diva teams can continue.

Prediction: Paige (DO THE RIGHT THING)

TLC Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Sheamus (c) vs. Roman Reigns

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns (TLC Match, WWE World Heavyweight Championship)
Sigh. You know, if Sheamus was actually built up as if we were supposed to take him seriously, and if we weren’t supposed to think that Roman has to look strong always, and the story was good – I could see them having a good TLC match. Or just a match in general. Oh, and if Sheamus wasn’t in some stupid faction that a day after it was formed, lost a 4 on 1 Handicap Elimination match to Roman and then Sheamus got pinned in the Fatal 4 Way tag match on Monday by Roman, then put through a table by Roman after being called a tater tot. They are good in the ring if you look past their repetitiveness. And while I would say that Sheamus will retain simply because he has a faction, Reigns also has one so I’m not going to be surprised if that’s irrelevant. I’m picking Sheamus, though.

Prediction: Sheamus

So, yea. I just put way too much effort into this post considering how much WWE put into the build to the show. NXT Predictions should be up later, Review for this after the show.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #FightOwensFight #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BAMF #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance