SummerSlam 2015

SummerSlam 2015 is almost here, and for the first time, it’s four hours long, and it’s FINALLY somewhere that isn’t L.A. I still have no idea what WWE was thinking having SummerSlam in the same place for five years in a row. Just dumb. There’s a few matches on here I’m looking forward to, and there’s some that are terrible. And there’s at least one rant of epic proportions coming.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Literally who cares?

Prediction: Sheamus

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Ryback (c) vs. Big Show vs. The Miz

Ryback vs. Big Show vs. The Miz
Again, who cares? Couldn’t be paid to give a fuck.

Prediction: Ryback

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
This feud has made me not care about Dolph and that is a bad thing. Rusev is still boring and awful and so are both Lana and Summer. End this, get rid of those other three, and let Dolph actually do something. He deserves so much better.

Prediction: Dolph Ziggler

Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Prime Time Players (c) vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores
Lucha Dragons vs. New Day vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players
So, where’s the Ascension? Anyways, yea they’ve had basically the same match seven times in the past three weeks, so who’s really excited? Let’s hope the Lucha Dragons win.

Prediction: New Day

Neville and Stephen Amell vs. Stardust and Bad News Barrett
Neville and Stephen Amell vs. Stardust and Bad News Barrett
Hey Neville, Stardust, and Barrett made the SummerSlam card good for them! Seriously though this match  doesn’t bother me outside of the “why the hell is Barrett involved in this?” factor. I’m glad Stardust actually gets to do something in a somewhat high profile match – celebrity involvement is normally saved for people higher up the card. And Arrow is my favorite show and Amell is a fan of WWE, what he’s done so far has been good, so I’d imagine he’ll do fine. Also I hope he brings Emily Bett Rickards with him. >.>

Prediction: Neville and Stephen Amell

Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper
Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns
I mean, this match should be fun, but what really is the point? There was actual story going into Reigns/Wyatt at Battleground, and then Harper came back so here comes Ambrose, but all they’ve done is fight each other in singles or random tag matches. There’s been no build. Literally why does WWE think it’s ok to just throw people who are “feuding” in random tags with other people who are feuding??? THAT DOESN’T BUILD A FEUD! THAT DOESN’T ADVANCE THE STORY. Fuck. Everyone’s kind of sensing a heel turn from Ambrose, I don’t know.

Prediction: Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper

Triple Threat Trios Tag Team Elimination Match
Paige, Becky Lynch, and Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, Naomi, and Tamina vs. Alicia Fox and the Bella Twins

Paige, Becky Lynch, and Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, Naomi, and Tamina vs. Alicia Fox and the Bella Twins
Ok, rant time. This divas revolution? Yea, it doesn’t actually exist. It’s failed. Yes, Sasha, Becky, and Charlotte are up from NXT. Yes, they’re having two segments on each show. But what is this revolution about? Change, right? What’s changed, really? Five weeks in, and it’s just everyone having random matches. Sure, there’s some more spotlight on them, but where’s the real rivalry? Where’s the personal issues? I mean, this is SummerSlam. This should be a title match. The revolution is about change but there’s no change happening. If it’s about change, then it’s about getting the title off of Nikki and onto someone who deserves to have it. Nikki hasn’t defended the title since……um……Money in the Bank? She has not defended in two months. They’re literally throwing this “revolution” at us to distract us while Nikki breaks A.J.’s title reign. This revolution is about CHANGE. This revolution is about ending this title reign BEFORE she breaks A.J.’s record. If she breaks the title reign, the revolution has FAILED. They are literally handing Nikki this because they are petty, pathetic pieces of trash. WWE should know better than to feed into Bella Twins fans’ insane notion that a Bella Twin could ever be better than AJ Lee was – they have absolutely nothing to stand on until Nikki breaks the reign, even though Nikki’s reign could last 600 days and it still wouldn’t be anywhere near as memorable, meaningful, or historic. People loved A.J.’s title reign, people are in agony during Nikki’s. A.J.’s reign felt it could end at any moment, Nikki’s, everyone can see they’re handing it to her. She hasn’t done anything to deserve it, she’s had tag matches at every other PPV (just like this one). The fact that this isn’t a title match is absolute bullshit. She should have to defend the thing at least three more times before she breaks the record. This match itself should be a title match – the winning team should fight each other for the belt after the other two are eliminated. Also, this match should clearly happen at Survivor Series. This should be a triple threat title match. Also, I know the revolution is about change and everyone will be pissed at my opinion, but the person who wins the belt off of Nikki still needs to be Paige. This has been a long story where Paige is fighting against them and failing because of no one helping her, stupid booking decisions, and them handing Nikki A.J.’s record, and the backup came to help Paige, so Paige needs to win the title – Charlotte shouldn’t be winning Paige’s title for her. If Paige doesn’t win the title, it must be Sasha. There had better be a title match on Raw the night after or this storyline has completely failed – they’re treating SummerSlam as if it’s WrestleMania, so the Raw after must be treated as if it’s a post-WrestleMania Raw – A.J.’s reign ended the night after WrestleMania 30, so Nikki’s should end the night after SummerSlam. Simple. And people think the Bellas team is going to win this match?? Good God, why? You want the revolution to succeed, right? Why would the Bellas winning help? Lol, that’s cute.

Prediction: Paige, Becky Lynch, and Charlotte

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
This is definitely the match I’m most looking forward to, except for the divas match. The thing is, this should be a U.S. Title number one contender’s match. Anyways, it should be great, and Owens should win. I’m not sure what Cesaro does after though.

Prediction: Kevin Owens

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
WWE U.S. Championship
Seth Rollins (WWE C) vs. John Cena (U.S. C)
Seth Rollins vs. John Cena
Well, they’ve booked themselves into a corner with this one, haven’t they? It reeks of DQ to me. What’s the point of either of them having two belts? Cena’s open challenge is the best thing of Raw, so I don’t want him to lose it, really. I mean, I’d be cool with Rollins with both belts, but if he does, the feud will continue which I don’t want. Cena winning the title also doesn’t make much sense, either. Just, why? This got thrown together for no reason. Triple H will probably get involved because of Monday’s contract signing. Seth should ask Triple H how many times a Pedigree has put Cena away. The convoluted way out of this is Sheamus cashing in in the middle of the match like Rollins did, thinking he’d win two belts instead of one – if he won, he’d only get Seth’s belt because the briefcase is only for the WWE Title, it’s not for the U.S. Title so he can’t get Cena’s belt – and Rollins will pin Sheamus, but he won’t get Cena’s belt either because Sheamus isn’t contending for it. I don’t know what happens, but I can’t see either one ending up with both belts.

Prediction: John Cena by DQ

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker
I don’t know how to feel about this match, but I don’t feel like ranting about it. For all of the reasons this match just doesn’t make much sense, listen to these guys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27z0c335Nys

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Alright, the review should be on Sunday along with the NXT Takeover Brooklyn review.

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