I’ve got a number of things I feel like talking about right now, so we get our first PSA since January. It’s mostly wrestling, but there’s a hockey related subject I need to clear my head of too, so it’s a wrestling PSA with 100% more hockey. That’s a first.
The following is a Public Service Announcement to you by SummerSlam, Tough Enough, Patrick Kane, and more.
The first topic shouldn’t contain that much ranting, which should surprise you. Some, but not a ton. I just wanted to share some booking ideas and some thoughts on the show so far.
- John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Sigh. This is the only part that may be ranty. You were doing so good, WWE. You were. The U.S. Open Challenge has been the best part of Raw pretty much all year. Why is Cena now facing Rollins for the WWE Title? WHY ARE BOTH BELTS ON THE LINE? Are you trying to do something dumb like saying Cena’s going to have both belts? It doesn’t make sense to put the U.S. Title on Rollins, so what else is it really? Is it just going to be a DQ? Couldn’t just have Cena vs. Owens vs. Cesaro could you? Makes too much sense huh? You can give Rollins a different opponent. Not that difficult, really. Triple H.
But what I wanted to do was share my incredibly convoluted and admittedly unbelievably stupid way for them to get out of this with no titles changing hands. Keep in mind I do NOT want this to happen, I just tried to come up with the stupidest thing WWE could do.
In the middle of the match, Sheamus cashes in like Rollins did at Mania, thinking in doing so that he could end up with BOTH belts and not just the WWE Title. He’d be kind of dumb not to try in all honesty. In doing so, he either wins, or takes the pinfall from Seth Rollins.
If he wins, he gets the WWE title, but then someone’s all like “Well your briefcase was only for the WWE Title so you don’t get the U.S. Title” or some shit.
Similarly if Rollins pins him, he doesn’t get the U.S. Title because Sheamus was only going for the WWE Title.
Dumb as hell, right?
2. Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
I don’t mind this match, but does it make much sense for taker to beat lesnar?
Most importantly, this is what we need to talk about. So the Divas Revolution thing is awesome and all, but it’s time it has some actual direction. We’re done with just having tag matches. Come Monday they need to move forward.
We need a Divas Title match for SummerSlam. A 3 on 3 on 3 match, while fun, is unacceptable, at least on its own. Do that at Survivor Series – it’s what tag team matches are for.
You have several options you can do here.
You could do Charlotte vs. Naomi vs. Nikki going off of what happened this week.
You could do Paige vs. Nikki vs. Sasha (Because truth be told Paige should still be the one to win the belt.)
Or, you can do my idea. And you’ll still have the 3 vs 3 vs 3.
Have the triple threat trios tag, elimination style. But have it for the title. After one team is left standing, have them have an elimination match against each other and the winner is the champion. (Presumably if the Bella team wins they’d lay down for Nikki, but they wouldn’t win so it’s irrelevant.)
Or the winning team could then have a triple threat match as a number one contender’s match, and the winner could face Nikki the next night on Raw. Hell have that match main event Raw. Either way there needs to be a new champion by August 24.
If this Divas Revolution is actually a real thing, there needs to be actual change. Having a Revolution that takes months for there to be a new champion is NOT a revolution. It’s WWE’s way of distracting you into thinking they’re doing something with the women’s division while Nikki’s pathetic title reign continues and breaks A.J.’s record without even trying. If Nikki doesn’t have several more title defenses between now and the Raw before Night of Champions, she is literally being HANDED that title reign. And we can’t have that. Long title reigns are EARNED. A.J. EARNED her title reign. Nikki has been handed everything on a silver platter. Most of her PPV matches have been TAG TEAM matches and then she cheats to win the next match. A.J. had to defend the belt at EVERY PPV as long as there was a women’s match. Let’s not pretend Nikki deserves to break AJ’s record. Nikki could have a 600 day title reign and it would not be anywhere near as meaningful, memorable, and deserved as AJ’s was. Simple fact.
As a mindless WWE content viewer, I find myself watching Tough Enough for some ungodly reason. And while Chris Jericho is awesome and Paige is as well, the show is dumb as fuck.
Almost none of the contestants have any wrestling training and basically none of the challenges have anything to do with learning how to wrestle. It’s really just game show NXT.
The whole reality show part of it is dumb as fuck, too. We’ve got Giorgia blaming Sara Lee for dropping her on her head during a body slam when really it’s Giorgia’s fault for not knowing how to tuck her fucking chin on a bump. We’ve got Amanda blaming Chelsea for trying to sabotage her because Chelsea sold her offense like a wrestler is supposed to. WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T SHE SELL A MOVE? THIS IS WRESTLING! We’ve also got Giorgia bragging that she’s won a lot of challenges when NONE of the challenges have anything to do with learning how to wrestle. We’ve got Giorgia and Amanda bitching about the other girls because they think they’re attractive and their models and they don’t think the others have what it takes to be good models which, A) has NOTHING to do with wrestling, and B) let’s be honest, it’s not hard to take some pictures. All you do is sit and pose.
And then there’s dumbfuck ZZ. Completely out of shape, can’t do anything in the ring, gets gassed in ten seconds, loses every challenge. And he’s still here. Whenever someone tells ZZ the truth and that he’s absolute trash, they are immediately eliminated because it’s fan voted.
WHY IS THIS FAN VOTED??
HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING FROM THE VOICE AND SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
FANS DON’T KNOW HOW TO VOTE FOR TALENT. THEY VOTE FOR TALENTLESS SHIT. The voters are five year old morons who know nothing about wrestling.
We have to have people eliminated by JUDGES. We have to have people eliminated each other based on their lack of talent. We can NOT have people eliminated because some five year old’s feelings were hurt that someone told ZZ the truth that he’s a talentless, out of shape, piece of trash.
ZZ is going to win. And he will NEVER make it onto WWE tv, much less onto NXT. He will COMPLETELY waste this opportunity. He will be fired immediately.
Other Wrestling Topics
- We don’t need a divas tag team title
2. WWE is considering giving the big undeserved diva push they were going to give to Lana to Eva Marie. Neither of which can work at all to our knowledge. We haven’t seen Lana. And while we know Eva’s been training with Brian Kendrick, as it turns out, she still sucks. Those training videos show she can do a couple moves alright, but she still can’t wrestle a match.
3. WWE 2K’16 had info released about it this week. A lot of what was absent from 15 has returned and naturally has been presented as something that is new to the series which it is not by any means. There’s only two new or different things about 16 and that’s the pinning system, which is good because the pinning system was absolute bullshit, and the reversals, which I’m not sure is good.
I need to clear my mind on this, and hopefully I can do that here without digging a hole for myself. Well, I don’t think I will, but I know better than to talk about this on Twitter.
Obviously there’s part of me that’s upset and there’s the part of me that wonders how this is going to effect the team and all that crap. Obviously there’s the innocent until proven guilty thing. But there’s no reason to believe the person doing the accusing isn’t honest.
Just because Kane is a Blackhawk doesn’t mean he’s immune to any wrongdoing. And no matter how this turns out, this is going to end poorly for all parties.
Even if no charges end up being pressed against Kane, or even if they are and Kane is found not guilty, that doesn’t mean he did nothing wrong. Oftentimes in this country, when this kind of thing happens, it usually seems to end with the person being found not guilty – right or wrong. If I had to predict what happens, I would guess that Kane would be no different. I don’t have all the facts, it’s just a guess – it’s not something that hasn’t happened before on a regular basis.
Either way, this will now haunt Kane for the rest of his career, assuming he doesn’t end up in jail, that is. Obviously that doesn’t make him a bad hockey player, but it does make him a bad human. I don’t care who you are, if what he’s being accused of is indeed true, I have no sympathy for him. It doesn’t take away from what he’s done on the ice in the past, and anyone who says he doesn’t deserve what he has is wrong – he’s earned what he’s got. This happened after that, not before.
That being said, the Hawks are going to be in a tough situation. We throw stones at teams like the Avalanche or the Predators for allowing people like Semyon Varlamov or Mike Ribiero to continue to play hockey after what they’ve done. And realistically speaking, what Kane is accused of is worse than what they did. So basically that means we can’t really support Kane playing anytime soon, whether found guilty or not. (Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t expect Kane not to play unless he is indeed charged and found guilty, but it is impossible to support him in the way we have in the past. I imagine the goal celebration tweet on Twitter will change from Showtime to Resident Fuckboy)
So, after the Hawks win 3 championships in 6 years, they’ve lost Brandon Saad and Patrick Sharp due to poor trading decisions (One OR the other, not BOTH), and now they may lose Kane too due to his own stupidity. I hope we, as fans, enjoyed their success in the past six years, because the future is very cloudy.
I’m questioning why the opinions of twelve random people matter to determine whether someone is guilty of rape. I guess only because otherwise you’d have people accusing anyone because they could, but in actual cases of it, I don’t understand why people’s opinions matter. I feel as though if a person can provide evidence of it, it should be automatic. What I do know is that these cases need to be more sympathetic to the victim and not to the accused, as it’s usually the other way around.
Here’s a very good article about the whole situation: http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/08/07/baffoe-patrick-kane-is-not-your-friend/
Do not rush to Kane’s defense because he’s a Blackhawk. If it’s true, there’s no defense for it. We don’t know all the facts, but we have no reason to believe the person to be dishonest.
#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #FightOwensFight #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #IsItOctoberYet?