Another month, another PPV. And while with that should come excitement and anticipation, I find that I’m mostly looking forward to it right now since I’m going to it. Now, I don’t think it’s going to be a bad show or anything – in fact, most of the matches look good outside of one or two glaring missteps. It’s just that drudging through Raw and Smackdown every week just to find the few things on it you like seems to be more and more daunting as time goes by – with NXT and Lucha Underground being the only saving graces of wrestling in between them. (And LU is not WWE related, obviously.) This show looks to be good, but it could be better. And there are several talents not on the show that I expect/want to see.
WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Uppercats (c) (Cesaro & Tyson Kidd) vs. New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E)
So, we’re going with a heel vs. heel match here, then? Granted, I know Cesaro and Kidd will be cheered because it’s Chicago – but really? I was hoping for a tag team turmoil match for the titles, which would include both the Lucha Dragons and the Ascension, two teams I expect to see somewhere on this PPV. (Even though the Ascension are basically jobbers now.) Anyways, now that New Day has turned heel, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them win because they’re getting over. But I’m predicting Uppercats to retain.
WWE Third Rate Women’s Championship
Nikki Bella (c) vs. Naomi
Well, this wasn’t exactly the fatal 4-way or the A.J./Paige match I was expecting. Or anything that involved one of those two. But I guess when they randomly started to push Naomi the night after WrestleMania and continued it on Smackdown that week, we should’ve known something was up. And then A.J. retired the next day, which is sad. But it is what it is. (See my post “Fan Since Day One: A.J. Lee” a couple posts back for more on that.) And then Paige was announced to be in a WWE film, which is cool, but it’s happening at the wrong time. I paid money to see Paige win the title off of Nikki Bella. Even more annoying is that Paige continued to compete for two weeks and won the divas battle royal to become the number one contender for the title on this show, only for Naomi to attack her by throwing her into the barricade three times. And now she’s off the show to film the movie, even though that attack was two weeks ago. News flash, WWE: Paige would not me too injured from being thrown into the barricade three times to not make it back in time for this match. In fact, if you get thrown into the barricade three times, you’d be back within a week. I do NOT know how you expect me to believe she’s injured enough to miss more than a week of tv. That being said, I don’t mind that they are finally doing something with Naomi. She’s benefiting from A.J.’s retirement, Paige’s movie, and the Usos both being hurt, but ok. She’s always been talented, despite the fact that her music is annoying and her finisher is no more an offensive maneuver than it is a jumping stinkface. And I don’t understand why WWE is going with another heel vs. heel match here. Who am I supposed to cheer? I’m going to be chanting for Paige because there’s no way I’m cheering for a Bella. But I’d kind of expect Naomi to win now because the story is between her and Paige now and the Bellas are suddenly irrelevant. (Well, not suddenly – they’ve always been irrelevant. But now more than ever.)
Last Man Standing Match
Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”C.M. PUNK! A.J. LEE! JBL! JERRY LAWLER! RVD! RANDY SAVAGE! DANIEL BRYAN!” *DOES THE WAVE!* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ……….
That’s what’s going to be heard during this match. You’re doing this match in Chicago. You deserve what you get. I may or may not play a game on my phone during it.
Prediction: Roman Reigns
Kiss Me Arse Match
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
So, let me get this straight – WWE’s not only going to make me sit through Roman Reigns vs. Big Show, took away my Paige, AND they’re going to make me watch Dolph have to put over Sheamus for the 4384934939484939282849475834th time? Fuck this company. Anyways, the match will be good at least.
Chicago Street Fight
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
Really looking forward to this one as well. I’m quite pleased to find Luke Harper on this card. This could easily steal the show if they both try to out-crazy each other. And Ambrose might finally win a PPV match on his own!
Prediction: Dean Ambrose
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Bad News Barrett
So is this match even happening? It doesn’t sound like it. With Bryan getting hurt AGAIN, we should just take the title off of him and go a different direction with it until he can come back healthy again. I don’t know why this keeps happening, but the more he gets hurt, the worse it’s going to look to WWE management and soon they’ll label him injury prone like Dolph. If the match suddenly happens then Bryan must be able to compete so I’d keep the belt on him. If not, strip him of the title, and have Barrett face someone for it. Preferably Neville because I expect to see him on this show somewhere. (Or, you know, FINN BALOR ffs.)
Prediction: If the match happens, Daniel Bryan
Russian Chain Match for the WWE U.S. Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Rusev
LOLCenaWins. I don’t care – but it’s mainly because I don’t care about Rusev and never have. And it’s one of those four corner touching matches which I care even less about. On the other hand, I am liking Cena’s open challenges every week on Raw now. That is awesome and one of the best parts of the show these days. The only thing is Cena can’t have scheduled defenses of the title on PPVs announced until the week before the PPV because we can’t have predictability. I do expect that, in a few months time, Cena to lose the title during one of the open challenges. Otherwise there’s no point in doing it. And hopefully that’s against a debuting talent from NXT, like Sami Zayn or Finn Balor. (Or it’s Neville.)
Prediction: John Cena
Cage Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Randy Orton
The RKO is banned.
Should be a very good match, despite it being a little over-stipulated. I was fine with it until the stupid Kane shit. Anyways, I really hope to see a Phoenix Splash off the top of the cage. That’s the one extreme spot I hope we get. Rollins is going to win in some fashion. I kind of expect to see Bray Wyatt interfere in this (if not, he’d better during the Last Man Standing Match or something.)
Prediction: Seth Rollins
Overall I’m expecting this to be a good show, especially since I’ll be there live. I’m sick of dumbass fans calling everything terrible just because they’re not getting one little thing they want done differently. WWE could put on the best show in the world but people would call it terrible just because they want to sometimes.
#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #BalorClub #FightOwensFight #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT