Royal Rumble 2015

Well, we’ve made it to another Royal Rumble. And after such a shitty year, one would think I’d be getting excited over the whole Road to WrestleMania thing, but, you know – not so much. Everything just seems so directionless and everyone I like seems to be doing nothing of meaning. It’s hard to get excited – normally we know a good deal of what we’re going to get at WM by now and we hate that. Now we have no real idea but not in a good way – it’s because they don’t seem to know where they’re going with almost anyone.

The preshow match is apparently an elimination tag team match between the Masters of the WWE Universe and Adam Rose and the New Day. I heard they had a really good match on Main Event last week which I haven’t been able to watch, so I’m sure it’ll probably be good. But let’s get to the real matches.

Paige and Natalya vs. The Bella Twins
Paige and Natalya vs. The Bella Twins

Why is this a tag team match? Why is this not a title match? Why are we not taking every opportunity we can to get the title off of useless trash and onto Paige? Seriously. I would possibly be able to get into this match if Natalya was A.J., because A.J. and Paige vs. the Bellas would be so indicative of what the divas division actually is – the women wrestlers with tons of talent vs. the useless Bellas. It’s too bad Natalya’s a douche otherwise I’d probably really get behind them – she’s got a lot of talent, but she’s a douche. I wish Paige would just whoop all three of their asses – that’s why it should be a fatal four way for the belt.

Prediction: Paige and Natalya

The New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension
The New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension

The Ascension’s going to squash these guys like bugs. And one can only hope they get to destroy the APA sometime in the near future because JBL is a terrible commentator who needs to learn not to bury people.

Prediction: The Ascension

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Usos (c) vs. The Miz and Damien Mizdow

The Usos vs. The Miz and Damien Mizdow

So this match is happening again. I literally have zero thoughts on this match. I’m sorry for that lackluster commentary but what’s there to say?

Prediction: The Usos

Triple Threat Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Credit to WWE for actually making me interested in this match. And, to be fair, it’s all because of Seth Rollins. The whole him having a briefcase at the same time as being in the title match is actually intriguing to me. He could win the match and have the title and the briefcase and a challenger would have to beat him twice to win the title. He could lose the match but cash in and win. My desired outcome is Seth Rollins to win – the biggest problem in wrestling is predictability, and anyone vs. Brock at Mania is predictable as hell. But unfortunately I don’t see that happening – Brock’s going to pin Seth and he won’t be in any condition to cash in. I don’t foresee a title change – there’s no point for Cena to get the belt and Rollins, while I wish he would, isn’t going to. If Randy Orton doesn’t cost him the match I don’t know when Orton’s going to come back.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Royal Rumble Match
(Sorry, no graphic.)

So, Daniel Bryan or Roman Reigns, right? I don’t know for sure which one it will be, but if it’s not one of the two I’d be very surprised. I felt like Reigns was barely on Raw this week, so I’m wondering if that’s point to Bryan winning. I was almost positive Bryan would get #1 – I feel like they wanted to do that but don’t want to risk him getting hurt or something. Personally I’m rooting for Dolph Ziggler. I’m hoping for some interesting surprise entrants and some from NXT.

Prediction: Gun to head, Daniel Bryan

Well that’s the card so far. I’m hoping for some big things to turn the outlook for WrestleMania around. If the title match was Bryan vs. Rollins that’d be awesome, but I think Rollins will be stuck with Orton. What is Ambrose even going to do? Wyatt’s going to face Undertaker apparently. (And he’d better win.) If they have any sense of decency A.J. vs. Paige will happen again for the belt. I really hope they have an NXT Title match on the show – preferably Balor vs. Zayn. (I want that Finn Balor entrance on a WM stage asap.) I know a lot of people think Rusev vs. Cena’s happening but I’ve been calling for Dolph vs. Cena since Survivor Series – if you’ve paid attention at all since then, it’s all there. Also, do they really want people to cheer Rusev, an anti-American gimmick? Because that WILL happen. Fans aren’t going to give it a pass just because Rusev is an anti-American gimmick. They hate Cena so much that it does not matter who it is that’s facing him, Cena will be booed. So don’t go that route.

Anyways, review on Sunday as always.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #BalorClub #FightOwensFight #WelcomeToTheWasteland