It’s time for some predictions for WWE SummerSlam 2014. And this is probably the least excited I’ve been for SummerSlam since 2010. I do believe this can be a good show, but none of the matches have made me as excited for the show as at least one match for the past few years have done so. One of the matches would have done that, but that was kind of knocked down a peg since Battleground. Currently there isn’t a preshow match, but if it involves tag team titles please let the Usos lose the belts to either the Wyatts, Little Gold Star, or the Ascension. Now, let’s get into the matches, in no particular order.

Flag Match
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev
Swagger vs. Rusev

I wouldn’t say this is the match I’m looking least forward to, because of a secondary, unnecessary divas match is taking place that I have no interest in, but it’s definitely the least exciting between male competitors. I’ve never been a fan of Jack Swagger, and despite him being a face now because he’s facing Rusev, but that’s not enough to interest me. He’s decent in the ring but he’s so boring and injures everyone. Nothing will ever make me a fan of him. And as much as I do like Zeb Colter, he really bought into some gender roles a few weeks ago and it pissed me off. It’s 2014 and women don’t have to be housewives if they don’t want to. That being said, I like Rusev as much as I like Swagger. And Lana needs to get her talentless, contrary to popular belief, unattractive ass off my tv. And it’s a flag match, so joy. As much as I don’t like either of them, I did like the finish to their match at Battleground. I was fully expecting Rusev to go on to face Sheamus at this show and win the U.S. title. As much as I don’t like Swagger, I feel like if they wanted to really cement him as a face, they can allow him the victory since it’s a silly flag match, but Rusev then beats him down mercilessly until he’s kayfabe injured. Have Rusev go on to win the U.S. Title from Sheamus and go on a dominant run, then have Swagger come back right before WM31 and have him win the title off of Rusev. Regardless, I’m still predicting a Rusev victory, but I wouldn’t be surprised to be wrong. I just wish they hadn’t done the same thing week after week.

Prediction: Rusev

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella
Steph vs. Brie

Sigh….Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella. Ugh. Don’t get me wrong, the build for this, at least on Stephanie’s part, has been really good. Up until this past Raw, this feud has been hot. Well, at least on Stephanie’s part. The Stephanie getting arrested angle was great, and the setup for the match a week later was good too. The contract signing lost a little steam, and we’re just going to forget that absolute shit that happened this week. Let’s not pretend that Daniel Bryan would cheat on his wife within three months of getting married to her. But here’s the problem. While Stephanie has been great, Brie can’t do anything but say bitch. Brie can’t talk for shit, and she can barely wrestle for shit. WWE is said to be disappointed with the buildup, and they’re putting that all on Brie’s poor mic work and poor ring work (eventually). BUT THEY KNEW SHE WAS TERRIBLE GOING IN BUT GAVE HER THE TOP STORYLINE ANYWAY. And let’s just be perfectly honest here: the only women’s wrestler on the WWE roster that deserves to have Stephanie come back to work an actual match is A.J. Lee. Brie Bella doesn’t deserve shit. I’m trying to imagine how amazing this feud would actually be if it was A.J. vs. Stephanie. Yes, I know you all want that now too. But no, they’re wasting this on the slightly not bad Bella Twin. And what’s worse is that the real women’s wrestlers are said to be getting twelve minutes on this show and the make believe, pretend ones are going to get fifteen. That being said, Stephanie McMahon will win this, whether it be via pointless Nikki Bella heel turn or not.

Prediction: Stephanie McMahon

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton
Orton vs. Reigns

I don’t have too much to say about this match, to be honest. Orton’s apparently the Viper again, so, yay? Reigns really needs to get better on the mic, and he needs to start losing some matches. We don’t need to give him a Super push anytime soon. I do not want WWE to ruin him. I would have Orton win this match, to be honest, but I doubt that. This definitely has the potential to be a really good match, but I honestly don’t have much interest in it.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler vs. Miz

This match should be really good. I’m not a fan of the Miz, but I’ve noticed that whenever these two are in the ring together, it’s always really good. Their match the night after Battleground was great, and I remember them having a match on Main Event in 2012 that was quite good as well. I’m predicting the Miz to win, but please, WWE, if you have any kind of soul whatsoever, give Dolph Ziggler this win. You’ve been fucking with him for a full year now. It’s time you guys get the fuck over whatever the hell he said (because quite frankly it was true), and give the fans what they want. What you’re doing by not giving Ziggler wins is making another Daniel Bryan situation without trying to.

Prediction: The Miz

WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship
A.J. Lee (c) vs. Paige

AJ vs. Paige

Women’s wrestling! Clap Clap, Clap Clap Clap. Yes, the feud has gotten better now that Paige has turned heel. That being said, it could still be better. I was hoping they would abandon the whole frenemies thing once Paige turned but she’s still kind of pretending that they’re friends, even though she’s gone crazy herself. Or if you read things on Reddit, she’s actually just a sociopath. I wish that person’s analysis of Paige’s character was true, but WWE isn’t smart enough to develop a character that well. That being said, I hope twelve minutes is at least five more minutes than they got at Battleground, because that was good, but I know this will be better. As far as who I want to win, I’m not even really sure who I’m supposed to choose – I love them both so much, but I don’t think I can like Paige more than I like A.J. I’m fully aboard the A.J. is the best diva ever train and Paige is somewhere aboard that train too, but A.J. is the conductor. That’s right, I just used a train analogy. Beat that. But with A.J. being a full fledged face now, I think Paige gets the win here. Can we please get a submission match at Night of Champions? And then can we get these two inside Hell in a Cell? That’s right, I said it. I WANT A WOMEN’S HELL IN A CELL MATCH. YOU CAN CALL ME CRAZY, I WILL JUST FREAK OUT LIKE A.J. BECAUSE OF IT.

Prediction: Paige

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt
Jericho vs. Wyatt

Oh, this match….I should really be excited for this match. I really should be. But I’m not. Name value alone is not enough for this to make me excited. Bray keeps attacking Jericho and talks about Jericho saying he’s going to save people but not doing it or something. And Jericho’s cut the same promo every time. Their match at Battleground was nothing amazing either, and Jericho won. Bray Wyatt has looked terrible since WM30. I don’t think the loss to Cena at WM killed him or anything – that was a good match and he looked fine (Would’ve preferred a win, of course, but it didn’t kill him). The problem is is that the booking he’s had after WM is so completely opposite of his booking going into WM that it’s bullshit. They built him so strongly going into WM so he looked good enough to face Cena, but then when it was done, they just completely dropped the ball. Wyatt should have won the match at Payback against Cena. End of story. If he had won that match, I think it would be a completely different story. And losing to Jericho didn’t help, either. Jericho should’ve beaten Miz at Battleground and Wyatt should’ve been kept off the show except for to attack Jericho after and cut a promo. That would’ve made this feud so much better. Hopefully this match will be longer and be better. I guarantee Bray will win this one – Jericho wouldn’t win two in a row. So hopefully the match is better, and when the feud continues, hopefully it picks up. Also I’m listening to Bray Wyatt cut a promo on Jericho right now on Jericho’s podcast today, so if you need more build, go listen.

Prediction: Bray Wyatt

Lumberjack Match
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Ambrose vs. Rollins

Obviously this is the match everyone is looking forward to the most (or at least they should be), and for the most part, the feud has still been hot. This is the best booked feud in a while, and I have no problem with them not having the match at Battleground. My problem is the stipulation. You can pick any stipulation, and you pick a lumberjack match? Who in the world picks a lumberjack match? Why would Ambrose pick a lumberjack match? He could’ve picked literally anything else. Any No DQ stipulation that exists. Any of them. WHY IS THIS NOT A NO HOLDS BARRED OR FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH? That could’ve been match of the year. But we get a lumberjack match. I can understand Ambrose’s logic behind it – I can. But it’s not enough. Giving us a lumberjack match had better be a promise to more matches in the future – a No Holds Barred or Falls Count Anywhere match at Night of Champions, maybe for the briefcase, and also a Hell in a Cell Match. Considering that it’s a lumberjack match only and I think it’s the beginning of a series of matches, I’m predicting Dean Ambrose to get the win, but a Rollins win wouldn’t surprise me.

Prediction: Dean Ambrose

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Brock Lesnar

Cena vs. Brock

And the main event is John Cena defending Daniel Bryan’s, Dolph Ziggler’s, and former WWE Superstar C.M. Punk’s WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Brock Lesnar. The promo work for this match has been great – well, at least Heyman’s has. Cena’s promo after Heyman came out a few weeks ago was good, I’ll give him that. But if Cena goes out by himself and talks, I fast forward because I don’t care. Hopefully the match will be good. I’m predicting Brock because that’s what they’ve been saying, but I’m not sure I want him to win. I don’t want Cena to be champion, but I don’t want a champion who won’t be on every PPV because that’s bullshit, so I’m in a lose-lose situation. So I guess I just sit back and see who wins. But we might be about to enter an era of there not really being a WWE Champion (even though we were in one for much of a year. After Punk lost there wasn’t a WWE Champion until WM30 as far as I’m concerned.)

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

With all of that said, there’s nothing more to do other than sit and wait for the show. Hopefully it’s great. It could be. It could also not be. Let’s hope for the best show since WM30. (Not hard to do) Let’s hope for a minimal amount or network plugs too. Review Sunday as always.

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