Yes, three weeks later and there’s already another PPV. Luckily after this one we’ll be back to a one PPV a month schedule, at least for a few months. This is one of the PPVs that should’ve been killed off, to be honest. We don’t need three PPVs between Extreme Rules and SummerSlam. We barely need two.
That being said, this show looks really good. Well, except for the main event. The main event is completely irrelevant. Hell, the main event through WrestleMania 31 is irrelevant. We know Brock Lesnar is winning the title at SummerSlam. We know he’s not losing the title until WrestleMania 31. We don’t know if he’s going to wrestle at every PPV like a WWE Champion has to. WWE really needs to smarten up when they make plans for their main events. You can’t give a part timer a title unless he’s going to defend it at every PPV. You shouldn’t allow people to know that the part timer isn’t going to lose until WM31 because it makes the last match on every show a forgone conclusion.
Actually, a lot of the good matches on this show I would’ve just saved for SummerSlam. As good as the card is, it mostly looks like what SummerSlam should be. SummerSlam’s going to have three rematches from this show, which kind of makes no sense really, considering it’s SummerSlam. And unless all three are gimmick matches, then what?
The preshow match is Naomi vs. Cameron which hopefully Naomi will win and Cameron can be fired.
The first match is Jack Swagger vs. Rusev, in a natural feud that I’ve paid almost no attention to because Jack Swagger shouldn’t have a job, Rusev is boring as fuck, and Lana is annoying and ugly. Zeb Colter is the only interesting part of this feud, and that’s only because he’s good on the mic – other than that his character is still a douchebag Republican. (Sorry for redundancy – I know the word Republican implies douchebag.) That being said, hopefully the match will be decent but Rusev will win. Joy.
The Usos will defend the WWE World Tag Team Championship against The Wyatt Family in a Two out of Three Falls Match. This should be another really good match like the one at Money in the Bank, but I wish the feud was actually interesting. It’s just been a series of matches. Can the Wyatts please win this match? Please? I’m almost begging. I feel like they have a better chance to win this time, but I just have a feeling that they won’t. I’m still predicting the Usos. (Can the Ascension debut if the Wyatts lose? Please?)
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins is probably the match I’m looking most forward to, assuming they don’t run some kind of angle where Ambrose gets beat down before the match and Rollins wins quickly, which I feel like they could do. This is one of three matches that I’m going to talk about in succession that I feel like that’s true of. Regardless of what happens, Rollins is winning this – whether it’s a quick win from a beat down, cheating, or what, Rollins is winning. Well, or Ambrose will win by DQ or countout. Ambrose will not get his real revenge until SummerSlam.
A.J. Lee defending her WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship against Paige will kick off what will be the Trish vs. Lita feud of the modern era, only it will be better because A.J. and Paige are both better than Trish ever was. (Fuck Trish, overrated as hell. In so many ways.) Anyways, A.J. returned the night after MITB and won the title in similar fashion to how Paige won. But you already knew that, because they’ve replayed that on every show. I know the feud really hasn’t taken off just yet, but it will. It’s going to on this show, and the night after. Paige has been faking respect for A.J. ever since then and A.J. knows it – they’ve been teaming up and winning, but the tension is there and come the PPV or Monday, Paige will be full-fledged heel. A.J. is a face now just because she was gone. And she’s going to get C.M. Punk chants for the rest of her career because people won’t get over it like morons, even though he’s officially no longer under contract. That said, A.J. will retain, leading to the Paige heel turn and a rematch at SummerSlam. I don’t know if that will have a gimmick, but at some point these two MUST have a submission match. It has to happen. But I am so looking forward to this – besides A.J. vs. Kaitlyn I have definitely not been this excited for a divas feud since Trish vs. Mickie, or maybe ever. I don’t remember my feelings towards the Trish vs. Mickie feud at the time, but I look back at that match very fondly. As much as I don’t like Trish, that is one of the best women’s matches I’ve ever seen – possibly ever. Quite frankly it could be, I can probably name all of the good ones on no more than four hands. And while A.J. vs. Kaitlyn was really good – whether the feud was amazing or not, it was a feud I’d wanted going into WM29 itself, as A.J. and Kaitlyn had history, whether it was well represented on tv or not, but they did have history going back to at least 2011. But this is an age where women’s wrestling, at least on the main program, has been all but irrelevant, except for that feud, and mostly just A.J.. I’ve been waiting for this feud since I started watching NXT in December, even though I’d heard many good things about Paige for months prior. When Paige debuted after WM30, I yelled “Thank you” at the tv. I’ve never yelled “Thank you” at the tv for a woman’s wrestler before. Then when A.J. took time off, I was depressed about it. Then when she returned after MITB, I yelled “Thank you” at the tv again. That’s two times in less than three months I’d been genuinely excited for a woman’s debut/return (Hell, I was more excited that A.J. returned than Chris Jericho did, and he’s one of my favorite wrestlers of all time), which is more than any Kelly Kelly or useless Bella Twin or Eva Marie or Natalya could ever get. Fuck all of them. (Yes, even Natalya – she’s a good wrestler but she’s a douche.) I want some real women’s wrestlers on my tv, and enough of these useless models. Get rid of the Bellas and Eva Marie and Cameron and bring up Sasha Banks and Bayley, actually push Emma, Naomi, Summer Rae, and even though she’s a douche, you can still use Natalya. And when it’s time, Becky Lynch isn’t bad either. I want good women’s wrestling, and hopefully A.J. vs. Paige is only the beginning (and quite frankly it will be the best, because out of all of those they are the two best women WWE has.) (Random side note: Why do A.J. marks and Paige marks actually hate each other? This is what I hear from Twitter.) Whatever, I haven’t loved a diva like this since Mickie, maybe even Lita, maybe even never. I feel like A.J. probably is my favorite diva, ever. Period. And Paige is getting up there too. AND GIVE THIS MATCH TIME.
I just would like to point out that, to this point, half of the post has been about a DIVAS feud. That paragraph was 697 words. When was the last time anyone wrote 697 words about a divas feud????????????
I’ll wait for an answer. Never? Probably.
Anyways, next is Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt, in what will be another really good match that I’d have saved for SummerSlam, but whatevs. Out of the three of them, if one match HAD to wait, I’d say it’s this one. That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to it, because I most certainly am, but the story isn’t quite there yet for me. They’ve only gotten three weeks to do it, and while it hasn’t been bad, it just hasn’t been enough to build as much intrigue as I know there can be. Granted, it’d be a better match than Jericho vs. Miz by miles, that’d been a little better in terms of allowing storytelling to prevail. But oh well. That being said, I’m unsure who will win this. Normally it’s easy because Jericho always puts people over, but it is only three weeks in. They will likely work the three PPVs Jericho is back for, and Bray will win two, and Jericho one. The question is which of the first two does Jericho win? Or could they both be counted out, either ring out or neither can get up? Then have Falls Count Anywhere or Last Man Standing at SummerSlam, instead of a normal match? I have to predict a win for Bray, but either result will not shock me.
Next is the Twenty Man Battle Royal for the Vacant WWE Intercontinental Championship. I’d list the competitors, but it’s basically everyone that’s not injured that isn’t in a match and isn’t Stardust, Goldust, Adam Rose, and Damien Sandow. Now, there’s only a few victors that are really possible. Cesaro is the obvious favorite. Dolph Ziggler is my personal preference – he’s actually felt like he’s been out of “MUST BURY DOLPH” land for the past few weeks, actually – it’s quite nice. He’s not a World Champion, but he’s been doing better. Soon, Dolph. (Now let’s get Sandow and Rose some real pushes, too. And make Adam Rose Leo Kruger instead! And I’m sad Corey Graves is permanently not a wrestler. Damn. Anyways that was irrelevant.) Bo Dallas could also win. And you always have to throw in the Sheamus factor, but I don’t think he will. Whatever happens, I hope it leads to a Dolph vs. Cesaro match at SummerSlam because that would be EPIC. (Imagine Dolph/Cesaro, Ambrose/Rollins, Wyatt/Jericho, and AJ/Paige all on the same show. Hell, add on Reigns/Orton. Wyatts/Usos or Usos/Ascension or Usos/Little Gold Star, and Cena/Lesnar – that is STACKED.) Or the crazy scenario where Sami Zayn somehow debuts during this and wins leading to Cesaro/Zayn at SummerSlam. SummerSlam could be ridiculous. But, there is one thing that’s nagging me – they’re having Bad News Barrett award the title to the victor. I’m getting a nagging suspicion that they’re going to run an angle where Barrett delivers some bad news that he’s cleared for a rematch and he hits a Bullhammer immediately and gets the title right back. I’m fine with that, too, but I don’t know if it will happen. Anyways, prediction is Cesaro.
And finally the main event is John Cena defending Daniel Bryan’s and former WWE Superstar C.M. Punk’s WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Roman Reigns, Kane, and Randy Orton in what we can only hope will be a decent LOLCENAWINS match. End.
Anyways, that being said, the show should be really good except for the main event. Review on Sunday as always.
#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers