Alright, it’s time to make some predictions for this Sunday’s Money in the Bank “Special Event.” I know this is a day earlier than I would normally post, but I’m potentially seeing a movie tomorrow night after work and I do not know if I’ll have time.

There’s potential for a Big E vs. Rusev match on this card, as well as Summer Rae vs. Layla, but they are not currently added so I am not commenting on them. Can we please have full cards for shows by a second to last Raw, or by the Raw before the show? No more added random matches. We should never go into a show knowing only four matches, because that’s stupid.

The first match is Paige defending the WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship against Naomi. Now, if this match gets time, it should be good, because Paige is awesome and Naomi doesn’t suck. Let’s just hope Naomi remembers to use a finisher which isn’t ramming her ass in someone’s face, because that’s just dumb. Paige will retain – they’re doing some storyline with Cameron thinking she isn’t god awful and thinks she should be champion or something, so she’ll have some involvement in this – we can just hope it’s not atrocious.

The new team of Goldust and Stardust will defeat Rybaxel. Stardust seems to be getting mixed reviews, which doesn’t make much sense to me. Yes, it’s not the best thing in the world for Cody to be doing, but it was fun. Cody’s had a number of different gimmicks, and he’s played them all wonderfully – this isn’t going to last long. He’s going to do this for a month before he turns on Goldust and they have a match at SummerSlam. I know they could get a tag title shot then, but, no, this is built for a Cody heel turn. The second I saw their victory celebration, I knew it was set up for that – just look at it, Goldust is on his knees next to Stardust – you don’t need to be a genius to know that’s a Cross Rhodes waiting to happen.

The Usos will defend the WWE World Tag Team Championship against the Wyatt Family. I like Harper and Rowan’s new theme song, even though they probably could’ve made it better. That said, it’s no “Live in Fear.” Anyways, this should be a good match, and I’m unsure who will win. I want the Wyatts to win, but I’m not predicting that they will.

Anyways, moving right along to the two ladder matches on this show. Thankfully, WWE had a brain enough to make an actual MITB match, because one for a title is by definition not a Money in the Bank Ladder Match. As usual I’m just going to go through the competitors for each, one by one.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match:

Kofi Kingston: I mean, come on, you know he’s just here for spots.

Jack Swagger: Should be fired for continuously injuring superior superstars. Last year, Dolph Ziggler, this year, Bad News Barrett.

Bad News Barrett: May not be in this match because of that injury. If not I expect him to be replaced by someone, maybe a returning Miz or Christian. It’s sad, considering he was a dark horse to win. I was waiting for him to get the briefcase and then announce some bad news for the champ when he cashed it in.

Rob Van Dam: Here for spots.

Seth Rollins: One of the two likely picks to win.

Dean Ambrose: The other likely pick to win.

Dolph Ziggler: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I beg you let Dolph win this! YOU HAVE BEEN JOBBING ONE OF YOUR BEST TALENTS OUT FOR THE COURSE OF ALMOST A YEAR NOW AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GIVE HIM THE BRIEFCASE AND A TITLE HE’S DESERVED WITH A REAL RUN FOR YEARS. If Rollins and Ambrose actually cancel each other out because they’re feuding – he could actually win, especially with Barrett out. PLEASE. (And if not, Ambrose, please. And if not, Rollins, because any of the three are wins.)

This match is going to be awesome. I’m sad Barrett might not be able to be in it, but it should still be great. The only blemish is Swagger (and Miz if he’s back). But, Dolph, Ambrose, Rollins, RVD, and Kofi – this is going to be great. I was looking for a Rollins/Ambrose match at the show when a real MITB match looked like it wasn’t happening, but they will no doubt work the next two PPVs with a blowoff at SummerSlam. Thusly they may indeed cancel each other out leaving hope for Dolph. If not, I can’t really decide which one would win – it could be either.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match:

Alberto Del Rio: Bitch, please.

Kane: Only if Daniel Bryan’s healed and the point is him dropping it right back to Bryan

Sheamus: Unlikely. I feel a Sheamus vs. Rusev U.S. Title match could be in the works for SummerSlam

Randy Orton: Could go right back to Bryan vs. Orton one on one for the title.

Cesaro: As awesome as it would be, I don’t see it.

John Cena: LOL Cena wins. (Because that’s what will happen.)

The next two are my fantasy booking scenarios.

Roman Reigns: But only if Rollins wins the briefcase, cashes in, and takes it from him, leading to a Shield Triple Threat for the World Title. (Or, if all of it’s a ruse, Reigns and Rollins would then have two things to hold over the Authority. Part of me will always think this is a ruse because Triple H still has taken no Triple Powerbombs.) Regardless, Reigns isn’t ready to actually carry the title, so only if Rollins were to take it.

Bray Wyatt: My most desired pick to win. Bray wins the title, Bryan returns and there’s a SummerSlam world title match for you. (Random note: I really hope the fact that the “We’re here” part of his entrance isn’t gone and it was just due to time constraints on Raw that it wasn’t there.)

But, let’s face it, this match is LOL Cena wins for a Cena vs. Lesnar match at SummerSlam. Now tell me – am I the only one who doesn’t understand the logic of putting the title on Lesnar? I mean, I see the point of the end game, with Reigns or Cesaro getting the belt – but WWE fails to realize that Lesnar only works big PPVs. So, what’s the point of any PPV between SummerSlam and WrestleMania 31, because the WWE title will be gone with Lesnar sitting at home. No title matches. What’s the point of Night of Champions? Hell in a Cell, TLC, Elimination Chamber…Nope. Survivor Series? Who knows. Royal Rumble? Maybe. See? Completely illogical.

Anyways, review on Sunday as usual.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #IsItOctoberYet?