Alright, so it is time for the next WWE “Special Event” as they are now being called, despite the overuse of the words “Payback Pay Per View” over the past two shows. Anyways, Payback is this Sunday, and for the second time in its existence, it is in Chicago, and thus, I will be there. While this year is going to lack a return of C.M. Punk (let’s just get that out of everyone’s minds now), it looks like it should at least be a good show. Not an amazing show, but a good show.

I’m going to address the people who are still chanting C.M. Punk for a minute before I get into the actual predictions. Guys – just stop. It’s over. It’s done. He’s gone. Get over it. I know it is in Chicago. That doesn’t mean shit. He’s not coming back. It’s time to move on. You can chant all you want – he will not be at the show. Do you want to know where he’s going to be this Sunday? He is going to be front row at the United Center for Blackhawks-Kings game 7. I’m considering making a sign saying so. So before you all sound like a bunch of marks, save your breath, and show some respect for the people in the ring. Except for Hornswoggle. He deserves nothing.

Anyways, the first match is Big E vs. Rusev. Do you care? I didn’t think so. Rusev wins and we go to sleep.

The next match is Paige defending the WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship against Alicia Fox. Yes. You read that right. Alicia Fox has a PPV Match in 2014. I should clarify, a one on one match for a championship. You’d be even more surprised that she’s actually produced some mildly entertaining television the past few weeks as well. If you asked me that four weeks ago I’d have punched you in the right eyebrow because that’s just crazy. Anyways, before we go along with a prediction, if anyone’s comparing Alicia to A.J., just go away. They are not in any way similar. Throwing tantrums != crazy. Anyways, Paige retains – hopefully this will be good. We can hope for an A.J. return, but I’m sure she will also be front row at the United Center too.

Sheamus will defend Dean Ambrose’s WWE U.S. Championship against Cesaro, in what should be a good match. I’m unsure of who to pick to win, though, as Sheamus just won the title, but Cesaro is being pushed. It is hard to tell. I’m pulling for Cesaro, and I’m going to pick him to win, but this is a tough call.

Bad News Barrett will defend the WWE Intercontinental Championship against Rob Van Dam. I fully expect, if the Hawks are losing at the time, for Bad News Barrett to give us some bad news about the game. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he trolled about C.M. Punk indirectly. Anyways, Barrett will win, should be good.

Since there’s no title match on the card, and instead Daniel Bryan will have to decide whether he gives up the belt or not, let’s just make it clear that he’s not going to do that.

The first of two main events is Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena in a Last Man Standing Match. This feud is starting to lose its appeal, as Cena still doesn’t know how to be serious and he’s really thrown all of the work Wyatt has done to make the feud interesting into the garbage. He really needs to learn how to talk. Hopefully the match will be better than that awful, overbooked to hell cage match that they had. Wyatt needs the win but I’m not going to be dumb enough to pick him to win. But I think the heel wins one main event and the face wins the other, and I’m calling for this to be the heel one.

The final match is The Shield vs. Evolution in a No Holds Barred Elimination Match, and it should be epic. I’m expecting the Shield to win as it will probably close the show, and they want the crowd to be happy. The only question is how do they win – is it really going to come down to 3-on-1 on Roman Reigns and he plows through everyone? I’m hoping not, really, even though it would still make Reigns look like a beast. I want all members of the Shield to shine equally, because they’re all awesome, and Reigns, while he’s going to get the biggest push of the three, is still the weakest of the three. Despite being awesome for a “WWE look” guy, I will still take Ambrose and Rollins any day. I’m expecting this to be awesome, I’m hoping Triple H finally eats that Triple Powerbomb, and I’m hoping there isn’t a Dean Ambrose heel turn like a magazine article is making me nervous about.

Anyways, that’s the show. It looks like it should be good. I don’t expect it to be amazing, though. I would like to see Adam Rose vs. Jack Swagger end up on the show, as well as the Usos vs. the Wyatts. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHERE IS DOLPH ZIGGLER? Continuous disappointment with lack of Dolph here guys. It’s BS. Anyways, I’m not sure when the review will be up – I’m going to the Squared Circle, Lisa Varon’s (Victoria’s/Tara’s for wrestling people) restaurant, before the show as my friends and I bought tickets to their after party for the show. You pay $20 to go there, they take you to the arena on a bus, and after the show they take you back to the restaurant for the party. I don’t know what to expect out of it, but I figured they were doing something after my friends and I went there for the first time after C2E2 last month. (My friend now goes there all the time. He was there tonight to meet Tommy Dreamer, might end up there tomorrow as Jim Ross is going to be there at some point, and we will both be there Sunday.) I’m not sure if anyone from the show will end up there, but I immediately thought going there would be a good idea after the show because who knows. The food there is great, too. Also this will be the first time since, like, 2003 that my friend and I will actually be sitting together at a WWE show, despite going to pretty much all of them together. Now I just get to be tortured and not knowing about if the Hawks are winning or not. So yea, I don’t know when my review will be up, because I’m expecting to be out late Sunday, and Monday’s looking pretty busy too, so it may not be up until Monday night.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers