Well, I’m here for an Elimination Chamber 2014 review, and basically the show was exactly what I expected it to be. I mean, all my predictions were right, so that’s clearly a true statement. There was only one real surprise on the show, to be honest, and it came in the first match.

The first match was Big E. defending the WWE Intercontinental Championship against Jack Swagger. I say this had a surprise because this match was shockingly good. It got a lot more time than I expected it to and it had some nice spots too. Swagger got speared both into the steps and off the ring apron to the floor, like how Big E. speared Ambrose at Battleground I think it was. I was expecting more of a squash and I was pleasantly surprised by how back and forth this was. Big E. still retains as expected.

Rating: ***

The next match was the New Age Outlaws defending the WWE World Tag Team Championship against the Usos. This match was kind of boring, really – the Outlaws have really worn out their welcome. I was generally uninterested in it, and the Outlaws sadly retained so we’ll have to see even more of them.

Rating: *1/2

Titus O’Neill defeated Darren Young in a terrible match. Enough said.

Rating: DUD

Next was the main event of the show, the Shield vs. The Wyatt Family. I don’t think words can express how awesome this match was. The crowd was chanting for both the Shield and the Wyatts, and boy did the match ever deliver. It was so good that I’m basically demanding that you go and watch it right now if you have not – I don’t care if you’re broke and have no television, you find a damn way. There was so much awesome in this match that I couldn’t even begin to list off everything that happened – but I will mention Seth Rollins countering a German Suplex off the top rope by LANDING ON HIS FEET. And even though I knew the Wyatts were going to win, it was able to get me to believe (in) the shield could win. I’m still wondering what Bray did to Ambrose such that he was unable to return. And I was surprised Reigns took the pin. The Wyatts celebrate as Reigns lays down in the ring from Sister Abigail, Rollins laid out in the remains of the Spanish Announce Table (RIP Spanish Announce Table), and Ambrose was nowhere to be found.

Rating: *****

In a bonus match, A.J. defended her WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship (Notice how A.J. brought the belt back from Third and a Half Rate to Second Rate, anyone? That’s how good she is) against Cameron. Unfortunately the only real highlight of this match was A.J. mocking the Funkandactyls’ ring entrance and dance, though. (Sorry?) Cameron is just terrible. And the reffing was hilariously dumb. Tamina tried to superkick Cameron but missed and hit A.J. – at least I think it was a miss, the spot looked like it was intentional. And regardless of whether it was a miss or intentional, the ref saw it, and thus it’s a DQ. Then Cameron tries to pin A.J., and Tamina breaks up the pin, which is either a D.Q. or enough to get her thrown out. Finally she gets DQ’ed when she attacks Cameron, so A.J. retains.

Rating: *

Then, Batista and Alberto Del Rio wasted ten minutes of our time in a boring match that Batista won. Batista’s on a long road to redeeming himself and this did not help.

Rating: *

And finally, the main event was the Elimination Chamber match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship with Randy Orton defending against John Cena, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, Christian, and Cesaro. This was a really good match that’s brought down by a lot of interference near the end. It took a little while to get going, then picked up a lot once there were at least four people in the ring and got really good. I was shocked to see how well Christian actually did in this match, and was surprised to see him even get an elimination (Sheamus). Cesaro looked like a beast in this match, too, which is what I was hoping for. Once it came down to Orton, Cena, and Bryan, the Wyatts interfered as expected to take out Cena, leaving Orton and Bryan. Of course Kane came out then too to get rid of the Wyatts, only for Bryan to attack Kane. After some back and forth with Orton, Kane comes back and attacks Bryan, and he turns into an RKO. 1.2…Kickout. Ok, once he kicked out of the RKO, the fact that Kane eventually attacks Bryan AGAIN leading to ANOTHER RKO and the pinfall is completely stupid. He overcame the interference once, he shouldn’t need to do it again.

Rating: ****

Overall, the matches that were going to be good-awesome were indeed that, and the IC Title match was pretty good, but the rest of the show was bad.

Overall Rating: ***

It’s clear that WWE doesn’t give a shit about what the fans want, and it only cares about what they want to do. And it’s pretty much irrelevant, because everyone’s going to buy the network and their merchandise and everything anyway. Anyways, since NXT is going to have a PPV like show on Thursday, I thought I’d actually review that too, so I’ll be back on Thursday night.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers