I’m not sure where to begin with this. Do I talk about the elephant in the room first, or do I talk about the one positive before I address what needs to be addressed? I’m going to guess that I should start with the positive.


The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family will be happening at Elimination Chamber!!!! YES YES YES!!!! Finally WWE is giving us something that we all want! Granted, it’s before WM30 which kind of sucks, and it’s a given that the Wyatts will win, which takes away from it a little bit, but it’s still happening! Now, WWE, I beg of you – PLEASE make this a 3 on 3 Tag Team Elimination Chamber Match like the ones in the video games – if there’s ever an appropriate time, now is it!

Also, Antonio Cesaro being in the elimination chamber is awesome!

That about takes up the good. It’s time to address the elephant in the room.

Welcome, everyone, to what I’m calling the Doomsday Scenario.

C.M. Punk has quit WWE.


Granted, I figured he would probably be gone after July, but………FUCK EVERYTHING.

Of course, it can always be hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake on the internet with how the dirt sheets work, and WWE hasn’t said anything on the website (to my knowledge as I type this, it could have changed), and Punk has not written anything on Twitter, nor would I expect him to. So, I’m going to have to comment on this in two ways – 1) It’s real, i.e. the #DoomsdayScenario , and 2) It’s a work, the ideal but unlikely scenario.

The Doomsday Scenario:

Note: Everything I talk about may all be bullshit. I can only claim to know whatever the internet reports, and I’m only assuming what the reports are saying are true.

If C.M. Punk is truly gone, WWE has seriously fucked up. They let their best overall talent walk away. (Sorry Daniel Bryan fans, C.M. Punk is still better; perhaps not in the ring, but in terms of a total package)

Now, I’m not going to defend what Punk did. From what I’ve heard, he met with Vince McMahon before Raw and more or less told Vince he was going home. Leaving an hour before the show starts isn’t professional, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t actually blame him for leaving for the reasons he did.

The reasons I’ve heard vary – some of them I believe, some I believe are bullshit.

The reasons I believe are the easy ones – they’re the same ones basically from 2011. Not much has changed, in reality.

They refuse to listen to what the fans want and just do whatever it is that they want. That’s the gist of it.

Things like Batista returning after three years and winning the Rumble instead of Bryan. Things like the same people getting the same opportunities over and over.

Reportedly he also had health problems in the latter half of the year.

Disinterest in the current product.

Now, what I don’t believe is that he’s displeased with his own direction. He himself knows it’s Daniel Bryan’s year, so I can’t imagine he’s that pissed off about not winning the Rumble and being in the main event. He does deserve it, but it’s Bryan’s year. So, knowing he can’t be in the title match, and he’s not going to face Taker AGAIN, I’m pretty sure Triple H is probably the next best thing sans a rematch with Brock Lesnar.

It can be hard to tell if something’s legitimate, especially when no one from either party is really saying anything. People said A.J. Lee (Punk’s girlfriend) tweeted something confirming it and then deleted it, but 1) the tweet was 36 characters too long, 2) had spelling mistakes A.J. wouldn’t have made considering she’s intelligent, and it wasn’t to make the character limit considering reason #1, and 3) it used business lingo they wouldn’t usually use on Twitter. (“Work”)

So, if it’s real, what now? My favorite wrestler is gone. What else is there?

Without C.M. Punk, do I have a purpose of watching anymore? I have other favorites, yes, but none of them nearly on the level of Punk. Dolph Ziggler, Daniel Bryan, Antonio Cesaro, The Shield, The Wyatt Family, Cody Rhodes, and Damien Sandow are all awesome, but I don’t know if they’re enough to hold interest.

Literally, the second I read the words “C.M. Punk quits” my interest fell a grand deal, especially when you pair it with the stupidity of the Royal Rumble. But, I’m not sure I’m physically capable of not watching anymore. It’s too easily available to watch it, especially with the network. It encompasses so much of my life that without it I’d be terribly bored. And considering it’s already so easy to dvr it and fast forward through the BS, I’m not sure I could physically stop watching just because I wanted to be all “Oh well my favorite is gone so you’re not getting my measly little point (or whatever unit of measurement it would be) for your rating” and whatnot. Maybe I need a break, I don’t know.

If he’s gone, who’s going to step up to the #1 spot? Dolph Ziggler is my second favorite, but the way he’s been treated recently, would considering him my favorite even be worthwhile? Daniel Bryan is awesome and all, but he’s not likely going to have the character to be my favorite. He deserves every bit of his reactions, mind you, but he’s never going to be my absolute favorite. I think that it would come down to either Dean Ambrose or Seth Rollins, but who knows.

Even then, what’s the point? WWE’s never going to give anything to non-WWE made guys. If I want someone who I can guarantee will win titles and whatnot I guess I should pick Roman Reigns or Bray Wyatt.

Rise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCn-i47Lvjg

The ideal but unlikely scenario:

Can it all just be a work?

I mean, I know it’s very unlikely and I shouldn’t have enough hope in WWE to be able to pull off what I’m going to lay out here, but I’m going to put it out there anyway.

WWE knows how over Daniel Bryan is. It can’t be ignored. And while I’m sure WWE is indeed stupid enough to just ignore it and do whatever they so please, what if everything that’s happening is an elaborate ruse?

What if WWE planned for all of the fans to be disappointed with Batista winning the Rumble? What if everything, like a ridiculously dumb rumored WM30 card, Mick Foley’s comments on Twitter following the show, and C.M. Punk quitting, is all something that’s planned by WWE, so when it comes closer to WM30, EVERYTHING changes.

It’s fair to say Daniel Bryan’s not going to win the title at Elimination Chamber, regardless if this is real or fake. It’d make less sense for Bryan to win the title at Elimination Chamber than it would be for him to not win the Rumble.

They can easily make Punk’s leaving into a storyline, one that goes on for several weeks. If he’s going to face Triple H at WM, he doesn’t really need to be around until March to set it up (Does he really need to waste time and face Kane?), and he can just come back when Triple H is running him down on Raw (on March 3rd in Chicago) and drop a pipebomb and there we are. (Meanwhile Bryan is inserted into the title match and goes on to win.)

All of this would start on March 3rd in Chicago, with Punk’s surprise return at the end of the show. If you think the crowd isn’t going to be chanting for Punk the entire night, you’re dead wrong.

So, before I go into why I believe this is possible, I’m going to throw out the hole in my theory which I just realized. He had a meeting with Vince before leaving – if he was going to do this, it would make a bit more sense if he was having a meeting with Triple H. It doesn’t completely rule it out, but hey, I’m calling this the unlikely scenario anyway.

Here’s why I think it’s not out of the question:

1) WWE only removed him from live events and shows, which they’d have to do to make it seem legit. WWE has not reported that he is gone as of yet. They unfollowed him on Twitter, but that’s really irrelevant.

2) John Cena tweeted that we’re in for a “helluva” ride leading to this year’s WM. Also, someone within the company posted on facebook that “WM is going to be very good this year, if what he’s told is true. I won’t get into detail to not spoil it.” He said this after the Rumble. If that’s all true, then clearly they know something we don’t – the rumored WM card is not a “helluva” ride, nor is it really good, so either they’re both freaking stupid or we’re in for a lot of surprises.

3) I heard that WWE wanted to do a “Summer of Punk” kind of storyline this year, whether it was going into WM30 or after, I don’t remember, but this could be it.

4) Is WWE really dumb enough to not give fans what they want at WM30? It’s the 30th anniversary, and they like to mimic things from ten years in the past, so Bryan winning would be mimicking Benoit. They can’t just give that BS rumored card for what should be the biggest WM yet, can they? With the reaction the Rumble got, they must know that if the ending of WM is anything that isn’t Daniel Bryan winning the title, the crowd’s going to shit all over it just like the Rumble – only a thousand times worse.

So, I’ll leave you with the following video, in hopes that everything’s an elaborate setup and that we’re all being played. I doubt it, of course, but until March 3rd comes and passes without C.M. Punk showing up at the end of it – and I’m going to go in expecting it, chanting for him with the rest of the crowd, and so on (and getting a refund if it doesn’t happen because he was advertised for the show when I bought the ticket!).

But until then, remember, the greatest thing the devil ever did was make everyone believe he didn’t exist:

(Ironic note: I’m a member of a Shield fan page on facebook, and admin is friends with an indie wrestler who “confirmed” that Punk’s leaving is real because he works in some kind of developmental system that Ricky Steamboat (allegedly) works in, and Steamboat is mentioned in that promo.)

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers