Well, it’s finally here. The road to WrestleMania 30 begins this Sunday at the Royal Rumble. It feels like forever since I’ve talked about wrestling. Six weeks since TLC. And actually, this post will probably be short because outside of the rumble match itself, there’s not much to talk about.

The preshow tag team title match between the Rhodes Brothers and the New Age Outlaws could go either way, but I’d expect the Rhodes to retain. I wouldn’t be surprised to see A.J. retain her Divas title against Naomi either on the real show.

That being said, let’s just get into the four matches that are confirmed for the real show.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt should be a good match to open the show. I don’t foresee any other match opening so I’m guessing this is a safe bet. I’m guessing Daniel Bryan wins but I could see it go either way. Presumably they have the Wyatts attack Bryan afterwards to make it seem like he won’t be in the Rumble.

To people who think Bryan won’t even be in the Rumble – since when in the past few years have people been in matches before the Rumble and not been in the Rumble too that weren’t also world champions?? Dolph Ziggler in 2012 and 2011 lost world title matches and was in the Rumble, and Randy Orton in 2011 as well. The Miz and MVP apparently did this in 2010. Brock Lesnar won a match against Big Show at Rumble 2003 to get into the Rumble.

Speaking of Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show at the Royal Rumble, that match is happening on this show too. Why? No one knows. WWE continues to forget that Big Show is completely irrelevant and that no one wants to see him. They also can’t decide if he’s a monster or a crybaby. Brock wins, end of story.

Randy Orton will defend C.M. Punk’s, Dolph Ziggler’s, and Daniel Bryan’s WWE World Heavyweight Championship (That’s really annoying to write) against John Cena in a normal match, because having a normal match after a TLC match makes PERFECT SENSE. I don’t care, do you? Anyways, I think this might be the one time that John Cena losing is a safer bet than him winning, though. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if Cena won, nor would I care.

And now, onto the main attraction of this show, the Royal Rumble Match. Before I get into predicted winners, there are still seven slots to be filled in the match which will be for surprise entrants and whatnot. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Sheamus’s unwanted return as well as RVD, maybe Christian. Would like to see Chris Jericho come back but I think that could be too expected at this point for it to happen again. I’d like to see maybe someone like Evan Bourne or John Morrison. Anyways, onto predicted winners:

Honorable Mentions: (i.e. People I wouldn’t mind seeing win but I don’t think really has a chance to win) Dolph Ziggler if he’s cleared to wrestle, Chris Jericho if he returns, Cody Rhodes although I don’t see why he would, Bray Wyatt because why not?, Dean Ambrose because he’s freaking awesome, Seth Rollins because he’s the actual best member of the Shield, or Roman Reigns because he’s the one out of the Shield that would win if one of them would actually win.

But really, there are only three people who could potentially win this match, especially now that there’s only one title.

1) C.M. Punk. Given that we don’t technically know who the champion’s going to be at WrestleMania just yet (although it’ll probably be Orton), Punk makes the most sense for any of the potential champions. If Orton’s the champion, he’s got plenty of history with him and it fits the anti-authority angle at the moment. If Cena’s the champion, that explains itself. If Brock’s the champion, that explains itself too. If Bryan somehow is champion, then Punk vs. Bryan (which is what the planned main event should’ve been to begin with) is the answer. I know the world is C.M. Punk vs. Triple H will be at WM30, and I won’t at all be shocked if that’s what ends up happening – I have no problems with that – I wouldn’t completely rule the Rumble win out, even though I’d highly doubt it. They are building him being #1 up a little more than expected, and with Brock actually wanting the title now, it kind of puts the thought in my head that Punk would win. (Otherwise why would Brock want the title if the plan is to have him face Undertaker for no reason?) Anyways, I expect Punk to be screwed out of the match by Kane or someone similar.

2) Daniel Bryan. Yes Daniel Bryan isn’t in it yet but I still expect him in the match because you’d have to be freaking stupid for him not to be. In reality Daniel Bryan should be the one that’s #1 in this match and then he’d go on to win – granted he can still be put in as #2, but at this point I actually expect him to be #30. Daniel Bryan makes the most logical sense to win this for obvious reasons, and if he doesn’t, then what the hell was the past four months for in the first place? He had an interview saying “Triple H wants me nowhere near the Rumble” which has some people angry, although that interview reeked of kayfabe to me. I’ve seen the reports of “Batista is scheduled to win the Rumble” “HHH wants me nowhere near the match” “Vince doesn’t see money in me (Bryan)” and “Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus at WM30” which either is all true and incredibly stupid, or is there to swerve us all. I’m not sure which, actually. That’s A LOT of info on the same general topic in one week that’s been leaked to me which seems kind of weird. But it could easily just be coincidence.

3) Batista. All of the Daniel Bryan stuff being said, I’ve got a bad feeling. I’ve got a bad feeling and I can’t shake it. I have a bad feeling that Batista is going to win. I hope I’m wrong. It’s like Batista is The Rock of 2014, even if Batista is going to be around for a few years. What is it with random people from the past walking in out of nowhere and being given title shots??? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. THERE’S A LINE, GET THE FUCK TO THE BACK OF IT. And besides, no one even missed Batista! No one even liked him. He had good matches with Undertaker, Triple H, and maybe Edge, but most of his career was garbage. His feud with Orton was awful while it lasted. Do I need to remind people of Batista vs. Khali? Batista vs. Cena was just ok, but I mean, duct tape. Batista vs. Umaga, Mark Henry. Didn’t even have that great a match with Jericho. Or Rey. Batista comes back to a lukewarm reaction at best and he gets a title shot? DO YOU NOT HEAR DANIEL BRYAN’S REACTIONS, WWE? I DON’T UNDERSTAND. HOW IS HE NOT PENCILED IN FOR LIKE, THE NEXT THREE WM MAIN EVENTS? Bryan/Orton, Bryan/Punk, Bryan/Cena. Hell, by WM33 we could have Bryan vs. Sami Zayn. Stop relying on old superstars, WWE, otherwise it’s going to bite you in the ass when all of the few names that you do have leave, and the current young talent aren’t nearly as popular because you haven’t made them into actual stars because you KEEP GOING BACK TO THE SAME THINGS! NO ONE WANTS BATISTA VS. ORTON. You heard Batista’s lack of a pop – I know you did. The only reason some people even did pop were because they knew who he was – everyone who’s from the past that comes back gets a pop, just like I’m sure if, I don’t know, let’s just say Matt Hardy came back Monday, he’d get a pop because people know who he is, but that doesn’t mean people actually care. A couple weeks later people will stop caring. Batista came back, got his return reaction which was very lackluster, and in a few weeks no one’s going to care because within a minute he cut a terrible, awkward promo, and reminded us of why no one cared about him before he left. It’s the nostalgia factor: “Oh I remember this guy! Haven’t seen him in a few years! Go this guy!” will quickly turn into utter silence if this guy doesn’t start giving us a reason to care. If Batista’s back, I want to see him vs. Lesnar – because that’s something that would actually be interesting.

I don’t understand really how the following WM30 card wasn’t obvious:

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Randy Orton (c) vs. Daniel Bryan

C.M. Punk vs. Triple H

Brock Lesnar vs. Batista

Undertaker vs. John Cena (Or Chris Jericho if he returned)

Shield vs. Wyatts

Cody Rhodes vs. Goldust

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Real Americans (c) vs. The Usos

Rob Van Dam vs. Dolph Ziggler (Why not?)

Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio (Or Hunico Sin Cara I guess)

WWE Divas Championship
A.J. Lee (c) vs. Natalya (Or Emma. I’d prefer Paige but Emma seems to be coming to the main roster soon. Or Lita, because the story would write itself if Lita were to return.)

I don’t know where the leaves Sheamus and Big Show who will no doubt be involved unfortunately. But that card’s pretty awesome, is it not? I’d pay a full $50 to see it. But I’ve got a feeling that the WWE Network being released before WM30 is because they know if Batista wins the Rumble, tons of people will be pissed and then when less people order the show, but ordered the network anyway, they can just say 48393292048493020239 people ordered WM30 because that many people ordered the network, whether people watch it on there or not. It’s all a means to an end, and I’m aware of it, WWE. Don’t think I didn’t figure that one out. But that remains to be seen – I’d give Batista a 75% chance of winning the Rumble. If he is, we’re all doomed. It’s like WWE forgot what WrestleMania was about ever since 2011 – WM30 can easily be salvaged. Nothing yet has happened where things can’t save it – WWE, for once, listen to the people, not to your writers. Your writers don’t even know how to write their own names – why do they write your wrestling product?

Anyways, that’s all for this post. Review and probable rant on Sunday as always.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers