Well, it’s time for a review of WWE Hell in a Cell 2013. Overall I’m happy with how the show turned out – that’s not to say there wasn’t some bad things throughout the show, but it’s nearly impossible for that to happen.

The preshow was changed to Damien Sandow vs. Kofi Kingston after Curtis Axel was pulled from the show with an undisclosed injury. Match was fine, Sandow won. Not much to say about it, really.

The first match on the show was also the best match on the show, with Cody Rhodes and Goldust defending the WWE World Tag Team Championship against The Shield and The Usos. This match was amazing. I really shouldn’t have to write that considering the talent involved, in all honesty. The superplex spot to the outside on top of everyone was awesome. I still feel like the Shield should have won the belts back, but the Rhodes Brothers win after Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Rollins. Poor Usos will probably fall into obscurity again, which sucks, considering they were the ones who should’ve won the belts from the Shield to begin with.

Rating: ***1/2

The Miz comes out and has some words for Bray Wyatt, who shows up on the screen and says something I couldn’t hear at the bar. Lights come back and the Wyatts attack, only for Kane to return and make the save. Well, until he did what was expected and Chokeslammed Miz, because he clearly had to have been brainwashed by the Wyatts if they took him. Short and sweet segment, did what was necessary to advance the story.

The first bonus match was something you can’t really consider a “bonus” because it involved The Great Khali. Khali and Natalya lost a mixed tag team match to Fandango and Summer Rae. The womens part of this match was alright, but whenever Khali was in the ring, it stunk. Summer didn’t do much, but she took some nice bumps, so I didn’t have any reason to call her terrible. At least not yet.

Rating: *

Big E. Langston then faced Dean Ambrose for the WWE U.S. Championship. This match was decent, actually. I was moderately impressed by Langston, despite throwing Ambrose over the ropes and seemingly hurting his leg. (That’s what big guy wrestlers do – they injure the ones with actual talent!) But the spear off the apron was pretty sick. Thankfully Ambrose got the hell out of there with his title so a marginal talent didn’t win it, though. Langston brings him back in after the countout and hits his finisher on Ambrose and holds up the belt as if he won it. It’s okay, Langston, you’ll never be as good as Ambrose, and you know it!

Rating: *1/2

Next was C.M. Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman in a Hell in a Cell Match. Well, let’s call it what it was – C.M. Punk vs. Ryback in a Hell in a Cell Match while Heyman stood on top of it. Realistically all Heyman did was help Punk, really, because now he didn’t have to worry about two guys at once. Not that Heyman was a threat, but you know, logic. Anyways – I’ll say this: It was better than Punk/Ryback from last year. It wasn’t better by much, though. One thing that helped was not having the match be bound with the same dilemma it had last year – the main problem with Punk/Ryback from last year was the fear of Ryback undeservedly ending C.M. Punk’s WWE Championship reign, which thankfully WWE did the right thing by having Punk retain, saving them from having an audience of something greater than zero the next night. The annoying part of this match, personally, was the person at the bar who would not stop chanting Goldberg the ENTIRE MATCH. Anyways, Punk wins, then climbs the cell and beat Heyman with a Kendo Stick and hitting a GTS on top of the cell. Hopefully this means the end of the storyline, because it should.

Rating: **1/2

Next was The Real Americans vs. Los Matadores in a decent match which Los Matadores won. I have nothing of note to say about it.

Rating: **

Next was Alberto Del Rio defending Dolph Ziggler’s World Heavyweight Championship. This match was fine until Cena picked up Del Rio while the Armbreaker was locked in on the injured arm, with the injured arm! Congrats on failing to sell. Cena wins because his name is Cena, he died for our sins and rose again.

Rating: **1/2

Next was A.J. Lee retaining the WWE Third Rate Women’s Championship against Brie Bella in a fairly boring match, but at least A.J. retained.

Rating: *

And finally, Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton in a Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Championship with Shawn Michaels as the referee. This was definitely better than the Battleground match. The whole chairs thing was cool but slightly ridiculous – you can clearly tell only Bryan’s legs were slammed onto them and not anything else. I’m happy for the lack of Big Show involvement, but the whole screw job angle is borderline annoying. Orton wins after HBK superkicks Bryan – was it intentional? (I couldn’t tell if the commentators were trying to play it off as if he was thinking Bryan was someone else or not.) Anyways, with Bryan having kicked Triple H, I’m thinking he’s not getting the belt back until WM30 now.

Rating: ***

Overall, this was easily the best show since SummerSlam. The only thing I really didn’t like was the Khali match, the rest was decent to good. The only match I’d go out of my way to see would be the tag title match, though. The other three main events delivered to the best, or almost the best, of their ability. Punk/Ryback wasn’t wonderful, but it seemed to end the feud, which is a positive, so it gets a pass for only being decent. Oh, and when Dolph Ziggler is on the panel thing that they’re doing, you know WWE failed at booking properly.

Overall Rating: ***1/2

A few things to note before I end the post:

1) John Cena and Randy Orton are both World Champions. Is the internet still alive? I may hate Cena, but I do get a kick out of watching internet fans rage, even if I’m considered an internet fan myself.

2) Assuming WWE isn’t dumb enough to somehow get the WWE Title on Triple H on one of the next four shows (Don’t know how they’d do it feasibly), and since I think it can be presumed that Bryan’s not going to get another shot at the belt now without winning the Rumble first – what would you rather see at WM30: Bryan win the title, or Bryan vs. Triple H? Personally I think anything short of Punk vs Bryan for the title at WM30 is a fail. (And I’d still have Punk win because, well, he’s better! *GASP!*)

3) Now that C.M. Punk is presumably done with Heyman, please insert him into the authority angle to make things better. It needs a boost – it needs Punk. Please have something like Daniel Bryan, C.M. Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Cody Rhodes, and Goldust vs. Randy Orton, Triple H (Or John Cena), and The Shield at Survivor Series. PLEASE I WILL GIVE YOU MONEY. (AND DON’T INCLUDE BIG SHOW!!)

Anyways, that’s all for the review.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #ImTheEaterOfWorlds