Once again, another three weeks have passed, and once again, it’s time for another WWE PPV. Because, you know, having one a month is apparently not enough. Looking at 2014’s PPV schedule, though, they actually did a pretty good job of scheduling them, apart from the three PPVs between the first Sunday in June and the third Sunday in July. At least the July one is MITB and doesn’t really need too much buildup – the real question is what the second one in June is.

So, the preshow match is Curtis Axel defending the WWE Intercontinental Championship against a freshly turned face Big E. Langston. You know what’s funny? It’s when a marginal talent walks up to two marginal talents (and Paul Heyman) and asks who the marginal talent is. I really have no interest in this match – Axel will retain somehow, considering Langston just turned face and did nothing to earn this, and, well, no one cares.

The first real match is Los Matadores vs. the Real Americans. Well, not much to say here, really – Los Matadores will win by default, so let’s just hope for a good match here.

A.J. Lee will defend her WWE Third Rate Women’s Championship against Brie Bella again, why, I still haven’t a clue. To be fair, Brie is improving, but that’s not enough to earn her a title. We know why the Bellas have jobs, and we will also know why they have titles if they have one. And again, if Brie Bella is the one who takes the title off A.J., then I will again, never pay attention to women’s matches ever again. And again, I barely do. A.J. to retain.

Next, the match I’m most looking forward to, the triple threat match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship with Cody Rhodes and Goldust defending against the Usos and Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns of The Shield. This match will be awesome. My only gripe is the fact that Rhodes and Goldust are the champions, really. I know I should be happy that Cody Rhodes has a more prominent spot in the company at the moment, but considering taking the titles off of the Shield was something that was for the Usos to do, and Cody should be moving up the ranks to something like the World Title and not a tag title, I can’t say that I am. And they got a title match when there was already established number one contenders, which is completely illogical. As far as the match is concerned, it’s going to be awesome. I was going to pick The Shield to regain the titles via pinning one of the Usos. That was until Cody Rhodes and Goldust got a mixed together theme song on Monday, thus they will retain. It’s really a shame – the Usos should’ve gotten the belts from the Shield, now they just seem like an afterthought.

Alberto Del Rio will defend Dolph Ziggler’s World Heavyweight Championship against John Cena. Woohoo. Yes, WWE, we get it, John Cena’s coming back. We heard you three weeks ago. We aren’t impressed that his body healed itself. It’s what it normally does after you injure something and a period of time goes by. I remember a couple of years ago we had this issue, too. Big Show returned from injury and, for whatever reason, got a title shot against Mark Henry because his body did what everyone else’s body did when injured and time goes by – it healed. This is not some kind of special trait that only Big Show or John Cena possess, thusly that does not earn them a World Title Match. WWE’s logic does not exist. And frankly, anything in those buildup videos are clearly garbage – all I saw of them was ‘He inspires us’ – yea, well, if he inspires us to do anything it’s to change the channel. But in all honesty, I don’t give a shit about John Cena getting a World Title match against Del Rio anymore than I would give a shit about anyone not named Dolph Ziggler getting his World Title back – it’s really not a Cena thing. Del Rio will continue to be in World Title matches at PPVs like he has all year – why? No idea. Don’t really know who will win, don’t really care either. I’ll just take the safe bet of John Cena, considering he died for our sins and has risen again, as a youtube user I watch stated recently. (Also, potential Sandow cash in? Maybe.)

C.M. Punk will face Ryback and Paul Heyman in a Handicap Hell in a Cell Match. Well, you can’t really call it a Handicap Match if one of the two isn’t a wrestler. Anyways. You remember how amazing C.M. Punk vs. Ryback in Hell in a Cell was last year, don’t you? Well, apparently it was so awesome that we should see it again. I’m not even looking forward to this, sadly. The Punk-Heyman angle has really gone cold since Brock is gone – this match should have been Punk vs. Lesnar Hell in a Cell and it would’ve been awesome. But no. We get Ryback instead. I just hope Punk finally gets his final revenge on Heyman here so we can just conclude this angle. We really need C.M. Punk inserted into the authority angle now to liven that up, now that that’s gone a little cold as well.

And finally, there’s the Hell in a Cell Match for C.M. Punk’s and Daniel Bryan’s WWE Championship between Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton with Shawn Michaels as the referee. I’m just hoping this is where Daniel Bryan finally wins the title and we move on. This needs to be the culmination of Bryan vs. Orton. The feud feels so much more like Bryan vs. Triple H, and Orton’s really just a placeholder. I realize now why the Battleground match wasn’t quite as good as I was expecting, and that’s because they were building Orton up as the psycho Orton from 2009, and then in the match, he wasn’t there, and he really hasn’t been psycho Orton since the Raw before Battleground. It just seems like he disappeared. I’m sure there will be some craziness involved with Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Big Show (who is still way too involved in this feud), and so on, so we’ll have to see. I feel like Bryan will win, but I wouldn’t be shocked if that doesn’t happen. I really don’t have a solid prediction.

I’ve heard that they’re considering doing Orton/Bryan/Show after this, which I hope isn’t the case. Let’s not put Big Show in more title matches he doesn’t deserve. I want Bryan to win and have a new contender. Also, Orton/Bryan/Show sounds like a second rate Cena/Punk/Show from SummerSlam 2012, considering Orton’s like a second rate Cena (in terms of status in the company, not talent, considering Orton is talented *GASP!*), Bryan is a second rate C.M. Punk (Amazing as Bryan is, he will never be better *GASP!*) and Big Show… well, Big Show is a second rate Big Show. I don’t know how, but he can manage that, I’m sure.

Overall, this is definitely going to be the best PPV post-SummerSlam, but I’m not sure it’s going to be anything worth writing home about. I also wouldn’t be surprised to see Miz vs. Bray Wyatt added to this in case Bray’s cleared to comptere. Anyways, review Sunday as always.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #ImTheEaterOfWorlds



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