Well, I meant to do this sometime last week, but time eluded me. I’m again venturing away from wrestling or hockey, at least on the whole. This post is just going to be a rant on a variety of topics – consider it like the “You know what really grinds my gears?” joke from Family Guy. I’ve probably mentioned half of these things in the past, and perhaps you’ve already read them, but I feel like doing it again.
So, as always, this public service announcement is from the Mzrc-Rant-Department^TM, and is brought to you by the letter ch, and sponsored by a cornucopia of things.
1) Moronic Blackhawks “fans.”
I recently I learned there are Blackhawks “fans” moronic enough to say “They need to trade Patrick Sharp, he adds nothing to this team.” Anyone who says something as dumb as that can turn in their fan card immediately.
I’m sure anyone who would say that probably goes to games in disrespectful Native American headdresses, wears either a Green Hawks jersey that’s relevant one day of the year or has an old, black third jersey with Hossa’s name on it which he never wore, has duel Hawks flags on their car’s rear windows, tries to do the wave at a Hawks game, doesn’t wait for the whistle, doesn’t cheer the anthem, doesn’t boo the guy doing the Shoot the Puck contest, and also probably thinks Tommy Hawk is a cool idea.
Any Blackhawks fans that can describe themselves with any in the above paragraph isn’t needed.
2) Annoying hockey “fans” in general
Any person who goes to a hockey game and is stupid enough to chant the opposing team’s goaltender’s name must be arrested on the spot. YOU are not part of the game, you classless piece of trash.
Any person who chants “Refs you suck” or boos every time a player from their team falls down and a penalty isn’t called immediately, no matter the situation, must be removed from arenas. #VancouverFansEspecially You do this after every single spill your team takes as if you’re entitled to something. It’s so bad that I would expect that if your goaltender was in his zone by himself and fell down, you would still expect a tripping penalty.
3) Baby on Board signs
These things piss me off to no end. You got a baby in your car? Cool story, bro. Thanks for announcing it. Oh shit, my brakes are dead, I’m going to crash!!! Oh, the car in front has a Baby on Board sign, better make sure to crash into this car instead!!! I can totally control that! (These signs are actually targets.)
Also, Baby on Board signs are not an automatic pass on driving properly in traffic. I don’t care how many babies are in the car, you’d better still drive no less than five over the speed limit.
Also, I should at all times be allowed to have cops search a car with these signs no matter the situation, and if a baby is not found in the car, I should be allowed to sue for false advertising.
4) Attitude Era Marks
Fans of the attitude era of wrestling must evolve with the times or go the fuck away. No one cares how much “better” wrestling was back in the attitude era, when it fact, the wrestling itself was not that great half of the time or more. More than likely, you are just a fan of violence and blood and not a fan of wrestling itself.
“BUT THE ROCK AND STONE COLD AND UNDERTAKER AND TRIPLE H….”
Fuck off, they’re retired or part timers. Get over it.
We’re in an era where wrestling actually matters to fans now. Well, it matters to real fans.
The Rock was great then, doesn’t make him great now. The Rock in 2013 is a has been. Don’t even try to tell me any of his matches since coming back were good. He’s tarnished three WrestleManias in a row, now. He’s ruined three WrestleManias and a 434 day long title reign of a wrestler that’s far superior than he ever was, C.M. Punk.
You can argue with me all you want, C.M. Punk is better than The Rock in the ring, and whooped Rock’s ass in terms of promos earlier in the year. All the Rock did was use his endless amount of catchphrases, said cookie puss as if that was something someone older than five should say, and read lines off his hand.
I’m sorry that wrestlers these days are smaller than the ones from the past because they don’t take steroids. C.M. Punk and Daniel Bryan would beat them any day of the week in the ring.
I won’t argue the popularity thing considering that’s obviously not true, but that’s only because there are so many senseless, violence and blood-hungry, moronic attitude era marks compared to the ones who actually like the actual wrestling match. You know, what wrestling is actually about.
[/end public service announcement]
I guess that’s going to be all for this post – I thought there would be more, but whatever.
#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds