Well, it’s time for some brief predictions for WWE Night of Champions 2013. And while I’m going to start off by saying I’m loving the product for the most part right now bar a few things, I’m honestly not looking forward to much on this show. That’s not to say there won’t be some good matches, but there really isn’t much there.

The first match I’ll talk about is the Fatal 4 Way for the WWE Third Rate Women’s Championship with AJ defending against Natalya, Brie Bella, and Naomi. As awesome as A.J.’s #pipebombshell was, I don’t care about this match because A.J.’s probably going to lose. And I tell you, the second A.J. drops the belt, the second the divas division becomes completely irrelevant yet again. I’m not sure it can ever recover. If they put the belt onto one of the chicks because they are on the pointless divas reality show that no one with a brain watches, the division is officially dead. Even if Natalya wins.

The next match is The Shield defending the WWE World Tag Team Championship against the winners of the tag team turmoil match on the preshow. Of the five teams involved, I would expect the Prime Time Players to come out the winners and get the shot, with the Usos being a potential second candidate. But I’m expecting it to be the Prime Time Players. Now, I’m in 100% support of Darren Young – I’m pro-equal rights for all people, no matter what. That being said, Darren Young’s coming out does not get him a title, and it also doesn’t not get him a title. When it comes down to it, the Prime Time Players still suck and had better not defeat The Shield. Now, on the other hand, if it’s the Usos, I’d be perfectly okay with it.

Next, Dean Ambrose will defend the WWE U.S. Championship against Dolph Ziggler. Now, as awesome as a match this will be – I mean, it’s Ambrose and Ziggler, how can it not be? – will someone tell me why Dolph Ziggler is REGRESSING TO THE U.S. TITLE? I’m aware of an interview that the WWE is butthurt about, but they can just go fuck themselves. This is where Dolph gets HIS WORLD TITLE back, in case you forgot, WWE. The Langston feud that you wanted so badly that should’ve never happened IS OVER. NOW GIVE DOLPH BACK WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY HIS. Ambrose wins.

Next, Alberto Del Rio defends Dolph Ziggler’s World Heavyweight Championship against Rob Van Dam in a match I give a total of zero fucks about. The second Ricardo started announcing for RVD I was just like ‘What the fuck is this?’ and stopped caring. I still love RVD and he’s been doing great since his return, but I’ve paid no attention to this feud because I just don’t care. This is Dolph’s match and everyone knows it. Either RVD wins for seemingly no reason, or Ricardo turns on RVD and helps Del Rio, idk. We can just hope this leads to Dolph getting what’s rightfully his but I smell a Rey Mysterio return and title shot coming. FML. (Sandow doesn’t cash in)

C.M. Punk will face Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman in an Elimination Handicap Match, because Axel for whatever reason doesn’t have to defend his belt. As awesome as the tv segments have been for this, I’m really only somewhat excited for this. I’d be more excited if Curtis Axel had any talent. I just don’t give a damn about him and probably never will. Punk will beat Axel, but he probably won’t get his hands on Heyman.

And finally, in the main event, Randy Orton will defend C.M. Punk’s and Daniel Bryan’s WWE Championship (It belongs to two people now) against Daniel Bryan. Will this be a great match? Yes. Will Daniel Bryan walk out with the title? No. It’s as simple as that. There is no way that Bryan wins the belt after four weeks – this angle is huge, and there’s no way they’re going to kill this now. Bryan will probably go without the belt until Hell in a Cell in six weeks. (Two PPVs away). Now, Big Show has unfortunately been heavily involved in this feud too, so he will unfortunately have a role in this match. WWE will never learn THAT NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE BIG SHOW ANYMORE, which is a huge problem. Please just stop putting him in anything. I see this going either one of two ways: The Shield comes out while the ref is knocked out and beats down Bryan, only for Big Show to come beat them down. He KO’s Orton, and then either turns heel after KO’ing Bryan, or doesn’t and Bryan wins only for Triple H to reverse the decision. Either way, Orton keeps the belt. Calm down internet, learn some patience. Also, please remember kindly that Orton doesn’t suck.

Overall, there’s a few good matches, along with some potential ones, but I’m really not looking forward to much. The product as a whole has been great, but as it usually does, the gimmick is killing the PPV. Night of Champions should happen in the middle of two non-big four PPVs – like, in June, maybe. There’s so much good right now, but they need to stop using Big Show in this feud. Also, please make sure AJ keeps the belt, Dolph gets what’s his, Santino is fired along with Khali and Hornswoggle, and so on. And the Wyatts get some direction. Anyways, review on Sunday.

#LaterMarks #ButImNotWrong #BelieveInTheShield #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IsItOctoberYet?