WWE Hell in a Cell 2018 Review, Comments, Etc.

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Well, that show was a mixed bag, but mostly positive I would say. The preshow saw New Day retain the tag titles against Rusev Day in a fun opener.

The first match of the show was the Hell in a Cell match between Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton. It’s hard for me to judge this match because while it was slow in the beginning, it wasn’t bad by any means. I just wasn’t super into it until Randy tried to kill Jeff’s ears with a screwdriver. And Jeff didn’t dive off the cell but he did the next closest thing – swinging on the ceiling and falling through a table after Orton moved, causing Orton to win.

Rating: **1/2

The second match saw GOD BECKY LYNCH DEFEAT Charlotte TO WIN HER RIGHTFUL WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP BECAUSE FUCK CHARLOTTE AND FUCK HER NEPOTISM! The match was pretty good when it wasn’t suffering from Charlotte’s overall sloppiness and lack of selling as always. But Becky destroyed Charlotte’s arm – even doing the Becktagon Jr. armbreaker – and then countered a Spear into a pin cover that got the win because BECKY IS THE BEST BECKY NUMBER ONE. Finally Smackdown’s standard bearer has her championship back – now we just need Raw’s standard bearer in Sasha to get hers.

Rating: ***

Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler defeated Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose in a really good tag match to retain the tag team titles. It was really good, especially from the one sequence between Seth and Dolph onwards.

Rating: ***1/2

A.J. Styles kind of retained the WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Samoa Joe in a good match even though he tapped out. It wasn’t quite as good as the SummerSlam match I thought, and the finish was just Kairi/Shayna plus an unseen tapout by the ref. So now we’re extending this feud but Joe still won’t win the title.

Rating: ***1/2

The Miz and Maryse defeated Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella in a decent match.

Rating: **1/2

Ronda Rousey defeated Alexa Dumpster Fire Bliss to retain the women’s title in a match I fast forwarded through because I refuse to watch what I know will be garbage.

Rating: DUD

And finally Roman Reigns vs Braun Strowman ended in a No Contest because Seth, Dean, Drew, and Dolph all fucked each other up outside and then Brock Lesnar showed up on a second PPV in a row is if he isn’t the champ – he beats Roman and Braun down and the show ends without an actual winner. Snore.

Rating: DUD

Ultimately the show was pretty good outside of the last two matches. AND GOD BECKY IS THE CHAMP!!

Overall Grade: B-

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

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WWE Hell in a Cell 2018 Final Card and Results

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WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Becky Lynch
My Winner: Becky Lynch
Probable Winner: Becky Lynch by DQ
WINNER, AND NEW WWE BLUE WOMEN’S CHAMPION, BECKY LYNCH

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe
My Winner: Samoa Joe
Probable Winner: A.J. Styles
Winner, and still WWE World Heavyweight Champion, A.J. Styles

Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Universal Championship
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Braun Strowman
My Winner: Meh
Probable Winner: Roman Reigns
Winner: No One; Still WWE Universal Champion, Roman Reigns

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose
My Winners: Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose
Probable Winners: Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler
Winners, and still WWE World Tag Team Champions, Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler

WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The New Day (c) vs. Rusev Day
My Winners: The New Day
Probable Winners: The New Day
Winners, and still WWE Blue World Tag Team Champions, The New Day

Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse
My Winners: The Miz and Maryse
Probable Winners: Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella
Winners: The Miz and Maryse

Hell in a Cell Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton
My Winner: Don’t Care
Probable Winner: Randy Orton
Winner: Randy Orton

WWE Women’s Championship
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Alexa Bliss
My Winner: Meteor
Probable Winner: Ronda Rousey
Winner, and still WWE Women’s Champion, Ronda Rousey

WWE Hell in a Cell 2018 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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WWE is really trying my patience these days. Even though SummerSlam was good, everything they’ve done since then has just been outright stupid outside of God Becky. If the MYC wasn’t happening and Smackdown wasn’t generally good I might even take an actual break from this company. I mean, they care so little about Raw right now because of football that the biggest thing they’re promoting right now is a pointless match between Triple H and Undertaker at a glorified house show in Australia that means absolutely NOTHING! And if they don’t care, why should I care? At least this card is the smallest one since before Mania.

WWE Women’s Championship
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Alexa Bliss

Prediction: Ronda Rousey

Hell in a Cell Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton


Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton inside Hell in a Cell for…..reasons? There’s absolutely no reason for me to care about this. Sure they’ve had a feud but a Cell match? Nah. We just need someone to jump off the cell and I guess since Jeff is suicidal it’ll be him. Jeff is literally Shane McMahon now. He’s going to jump off of it – it’s the whole point, is it not? This feud was fun in 2008, but it’s 2018 now. And the fact that this match is the only SD match to be in the cell and NOT AJ/Joe….LMAO. What a fuck up.

Prediction: Randy Orton

Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

When this match was announced I thought it was for that night’s Smackdown and not for the PPV. Since it’s for the PPV I’m not that excited about it. The Bellas are back even though nobody asked for it, they’re EVERYWHERE and it’s like death. The fact that the Bellas were essentially the Big Bad of the Women’s Revolution and now they’re back and one of them may main event Evolution is so comically ass backwards.

Prediction: Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella

WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The New Day (c) vs. Rusev Day


This match should be fun, but I have nothing really to say about it.

Prediction: The New Day

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose


So Drew and Dolph take out the Revival and take their title shot and win the belts from the B-Team (ew) and now they’re facing Seth and Dean and not the Revival? STOP SCREWING OVER THE REVIVAL FOR FUCK’S SAKE. GIVE DREW A SINGLES TITLE AND KICK DOLPH TO THE CURB. FUCK THIS SHIT. I know this match will be good but FUCK. So the Revival better interrupt this match.

Prediction: Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler

Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Universal Championship
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Braun Strowman

Ah, a Universal Title match on a normal show. Hurray! Okay so there’s so many things wrong with this match. First off, why the FUCK is Foley here? WE DON’T CARE GO HOME! So, Braun doesn’t cash in at SummerSlam out of stupidity. So Braun goes to cash in the next night but the Shield stopped him….so the Shield are heels? Because the crowd loves Strowman and hates Roman so if the Shield does this that makes them heels. So we have the SHEELD. And then the next week Braun aligns with Dolph and Drew so now Braun is also a heel so this is a heel vs. heel feud as far as I’m concerned. And we’re wasting Braun’s MITB case on a match we know he’ll lose so what’s the fucking point? I mean, I haven’t given a fuck about Braun since before Mania so whatever, but it just means we’re wasting yet ANOTHER MITB CASE. You wasted Braun’s. You wasted the women’s MITB case on Alexa. And you wasted Baron’s. Fuck.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe


Let’s all take a moment to appreciate just how good Samoa Joe is. Seriously. I really hope he wins – I really do. But I just don’t think that will happen.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Becky Lynch


It may not main event but this is the main event of this show. God Becky Lynch going to take her title. Becky’s super face turn at SummerSlam was awesome and while WWE was dumb enough to think it was a heel turn and then tried to have her turn on the fans who refused to not cheer her anyway because we have in fact supported her since day one just makes WWE look like the fucking morons that they are. Becky is literally Stone Cold Becky now and it’s awesome – WWE doesn’t know what they did when they tried to get sympathy for Charlotte by having the person we actually like get screwed over AGAIN instead of getting championships she has rightly earned. Welcome to the Bex Movement, because Becky is the new Daniel Bryan. We boo the woo, #CancelCharlotte, Stone Cold Becky Lynch says I just whooped your lass, all hail our lord and savior God Becky Lynch. People are startin to realize that Charlotte is female Roman and she’d better stay that way. All I have to say to those fans booing her now finally, all I can say is, WHAT TOOK YOU SO FUCKING LONG? We’ve been here since 2014 knowing she’s this bad. Come on. She’s worse than Bliss. And for the love of god, people, don’t get so triggered by someone that says Becky Lynch is a better wrestler than Charlotte is that you disqualify their opinion entirely for saying it – because Becky has ALWAYS been objectively a better wrestler than Charlotte. Everyone that we say are better than Alexa Bliss are also better than Charlotte because Alexa > Charlotte. GET WITH IT! CHARLOTTE IS NO GOD. CHARLOTTE IS NOT THE BEST WOMEN’S WRESTLER TO EVER EXIST. STOP ACTING LIKE IT JUST BECAUSE WWE WANTS YOU TO THINK THIS. #RicShouldveWornACondom

Prediction: Becky Lynch by DQ

Review Sunday as always.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

Five Fave Fives #2

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Doing this again a year later. Here’s mine from a year ago: https://mzrc.wordpress.com/2017/08/25/five-fave-fives-or-something-like-that/

NJPW

Honorable Mentions:

Toru Yano
Tama Tonga
Zack Sabre Jr.
Hiromu Takahashi
Hiroshi Tanahashi
Kazuchika Okada
Marty Scurll
Will Ospreay
Hangman Page
Young Bucks
Sanada
Kota Ibushi

5. Tomohiro Ishii
4. Tetsuya Naito
3. EVIL
2. Kenny Omega
1. Minoru Suzuki

Lucha Underground

Honorable Mentions:

Mariposa
Son of Havoc
Marty the Moth
Matanza
Dragon Azteca Jr.
Cage
PJ Black
Ivelisse
Taya
Kobra Moon

5. The Mack
4. Pentagon Dark
3. Killshot
2. Mil Muertes
1. Johnny Mundo

NXT

Honorable Mentions

War Raiders
Undisputed Era
Velveteen Dream
Bianca Belair
Dakota Kai
Candice LeRae
Ricochet
Tyler Bate
Johnny Gargano
Pete Dunne

5. Velveteen Dream
4. Adam Cole
3. Kairi Sane
2. Aleister Black
1. Tommaso Ciampa

Raw

Honorable Mentions:

Bayley
Drew McIntyre
Braun Strowman
Elias
Sami Zayn
Dean Ambrose
Kevin Owens

5. Ruby Riott
4. Ember Moon
3. Finn Balor
2. Seth Rollins
1. Sasha Banks

Smackdown

Honorable Mentions:

The IIconics
The Miz
Rusev
Shinsuke Nakamura

5. A.J. Styles
4. Daniel Bryan
3. Samoa Joe
2. Becky Lynch
1. Andrade Cien Almas

Top Ten Favorites:

10. Kenny Omega
9. Mil Muertes
8. Seth Rollins
7. Minoru Suzuki
6. Aleister Black
5. Johnny Mundo
4. Becky Lynch
3. Sasha Banks
2. Tommaso Ciampa
1. Andrade Cien Almas

So This is How a Revolution Dies…….. With Thunderous Applause

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It’s a shame that it’s come to this. It really is. A little more than a year ago, I never would have thought I’d be about to make this post – but WWE and a fuckton of psychopaths have forced my hand.

If you’re one of the zero people who regularly reads my blog, you may be able to recall a particular post of mine called Bellageddon. Well, I’m not exactly sure what this post will be called as of now because I’m probably not going to use this for the title – but this is essentially Alexageddon or Blissageddon. However, I intend to come up with a different title than that.

I’m honestly not even sure I’m happy that I’m making this post. There was a time that I was a fan of Alexa Bliss. A pretty big one, too. I was never a fan of the Bellas and that post I have absolutely no remorse for. And I’m not really going to have remorse for this either – but I’m disappointed that it’s gotten this far. It’s disappointing that this overpush has been so overbearing.

The thing is, the Alexa push is a symptom of a larger problem – a problem we’ll get to a bit later. And in fact, maybe Charlotte deserves this post even more than Alexa does, because at least Alexa has a good quality or two in comparison to Charlotte – and some others in the company, too, in all fairness. But I think it’s the fact that I used to be a fan that makes what’s happened with Alexa to be such a disappointment because in the ideal world this wouldn’t have happened and I could still be a fan. Charlotte on the other hand – I could make the post, but she’s a lost cause entirely and I’m not sure she’s worth my time. I would at least like to believe Alexa Bliss could be fixed – she won’t be, but it would be nice.

But, since I was at one point a fan – I can’t make this exactly like I made the Bella one. We will have to talk about when I was a fan, how things went wrong, and then how it’s spiraled out of control. I realize I could title this post now “No Longer a Fan Since Day One” because I was once a fan when she was first a thing – so that falls into my fan since day one post definition – but obviously that’s no longer the case.

So, let’s begin, shall we?

We first saw Alexa Bliss in NXT after she turned heel at NXT Takeover: Unstoppable, helping Blake and Murphy retain the tag team titles against Enzo and Cass. We’re going to ignore that Sparkle Cheerleader face Alexa Bliss was ever a thing – go with me here. (Trust me, we don’t need to talk about it. It was nothing.)  She became an effective heel manager, known mainly for her facial expressions. There’s nothing bad to say there – she had matches at times but never won the NXT Women’s Title – probably because in NXT they know how to evaluate their talent and know who the title belongs on 99% of the time – and they knew she was not ready for it. Sure she was good at managing and had matches against other women who could carry her, but she never got the title or even a title match at Takeover. Because NXT knows who is ready and who is not. But at least she can say she was the second most talented member of Blake and Murphy and Bliss. (Sorry Blake.)

Alexa Bliss was called up in the draft after the brand split in 2016. She was called up too early, but so were Carmella and Nia Jax, and while she and Carmella have always been roughly at the same skill level, they’re both loads better than Nia Jax so I guess you can’t argue about her callup if Nia Jax made it that early. And both brands needed to have a decent amount of women on the roster to sustain them – even though they should never have had separate divisions to begin with. I’m not one that believes they should have two titles – they should have one division where everyone is in it, or two but the champion is on both shows.

Alexa did well as a heel on the Smackdown roster and had decent matches. She cut good promos – no matter if you like her or hate her, you cannot deny her promo ability. She started to get built up as Becky won the title and while Becky had several successful title defenses – even one against Bliss – Alexa ultimately won the title from Becky at TLC 2016.

Alexa’s matches with Becky I would probably consider the best in Alexa’s career. It’s the last time I would probably say I enjoyed one of her matches. That and the first one with Bayley but I remember I missed part of that match. But I enjoyed the Becky/Alexa feud, they had decent matches that ultimately ended in a cage match where Mickie James returned to help Alexa.

Sort of the last bastion of my being a fan of Bliss before things started to go wrong for her was her feud with Naomi. I’ve never been a big fan of Naomi. If you’ve read the Bella post you probably know that. And around this time I liked Bliss and very much disliked Naomi*. I remember when their title match happened I was PISSED. When I tell you that I was once an Alexa Bliss fan – I really meant it. I felt like Alexa’s title reign had just started and Naomi just kind of got a random push for whatever reason and I had “Obvious title retention” penciled in and was pissed when it didn’t happen. I was so angry and I was arguing with my supervisor about it because he loved Naomi and didn’t like Bliss. (And then two months later he was in love with Bliss and indifferent on Naomi.)

*I’ve since calmed down on Naomi, but I wouldn’t say I’m a fan. Naomi has the potential for me to like her, there’s just some things about her offense that put me off and I could do without the entrance. But I’ll certainly take her over a number of others.

Naomi was injured in this match (more later) and Alexa regained the title after winning the vacated title in a match against Becky. (I was rooting for Becky though because Becky is the best Becky number one.) But, ultimately, Alexa walked into Mania 33 and lost the title back to Naomi.

Alexa would then be shaken up over to Raw a week later, and shortly after, that’s where things start to go wrong. Alexa immediately wins the Raw Women’s Title from Bayley in Bayley’s hometown – because if you wrestle in your hometown you will lose – and became the first person to hold both brands’ women’s titles. That’s fine considering the only other potential option for that honor was Charlotte and we will take Alexa over Charlotte every time when it comes to undeserved accolades. It was fine at the time because WWE had already screwed up with Bayley as it was – she’d won the title with help, then refused to hand the title over when Stephanie McMahon requested her to do so – something the Bayley character (a pure babyface that does no wrong) would never do. So it’s not the fact that she won the title from Bayley – it’s what comes next.

And now since we’re getting to the real part of this post, it should come as a disclaimer that this post is about Alexa Bliss the character, and WWE’s booking of her. Some of the fault lies on her.  Some of the fault lies on the booking. Some of the fault lies on the person who plays Alexa Bliss. There is, of course, a difference – and I want to make that clear before some fool tries to get mad at me and post in the nonexistent comment section about “Oh well that’s the character” or “that’s the booking” because we know this. That is obvious. This post is an amalgamation of all the problems pertaining to Alexa Bliss, and I expect you, the reader, to be bright enough to know that when I criticize something – I’m criticizing the responsible party. If I were to say “the content of her promos are repetitive” then you should realize that I am criticizing the writers – not her. If I were to say “she delivers her promos poorly” (something I don’t believe as we already know, but for argument’s sake) then I am criticizing her. I know the difference, don’t jump in pretending I don’t. And I expect you to realize that this post is not “anti-Alexa” or any shit like that. I want her to succeed in her proper place on the show – the problem is that she has been pushed far past where her talent currently dictates she should be. And that is what matters. Everyone should be judged only by their level of talent and that alone – I know this company is full of shit and talents are judged due to many factors that they should not be – there’s plenty of bullshit like that in the world and WWE/wrestling is no different. There will be no judging of Alexa because of her gender, size, anything like that. Only judgment of her character, booking, talent, etc.

In the rest of this post, there will be a lot of “What could have been” and long standing consequences of Alexa’s push – how we could have had far better television, how her push has damaged other talent, and how, in an era where we’re supposed to be past this kind of stuff, her wrestling and stories are mostly Diva level bullshit – among other things.

But first, before we get to the real meat of this post, some related reading if you so desire:

Bellageddon: https://mzrc.wordpress.com/2015/09/14/bellageddon-everything-wrong-with-nikki-bellas-title-reign-of-doomtm/

Whataboutism is a Hell of a Drug (A  sort of followup to Bellageddon): https://mzrc.wordpress.com/2017/07/24/whataboutism-is-a-hell-of-a-drug/

A Thank You Letter to NXT (A good portion is related to women’s wrestling – and I ironically state that I love Alexa Bliss in it – my how times change): https://mzrc.wordpress.com/2016/03/16/a-thank-you-letter-to-wwe-nxt/

The Sky’s the Limit (On how they ruined the Sasha/Charlotte feud): https://mzrc.wordpress.com/2016/11/30/the-skys-the-limit/

Everything Wrong With the Alexa Bliss Overpush of Doom

Bayley

By now if you haven’t heard of Bayley, This is Your Life, you have been living under a rock or are not a wrestling fan. It was one of those god awful segments the likes of Bobby Lashley’s sisters, the Old Day, Megan Miller, and so on. You know those awful kinds of segments WWE does on occasion that everyone knows is going to be awful before it even happens – I saw a tweet that described these four as the 4 segments of the apocalypse and that is accurate.

This segment is the first part of a one-two punch that, to go along with the whole “Bayley not handing over the title” thing, buried Bayley to the point where she can’t be taken seriously anymore. If you haven’t seen this segment – go watch it. I promise you’ll live, but only just.

The amount of cringe in this segment, all the while Alexa bombing the whole time. What chants, boring chants, this is awful chants. Bayley’s teacher’s last name is inexplicably “Flapper” and her boyfriend and friend keep bringing up her father as if he’s constantly around her. They clearly don’t even follow their own canon, because for someone who always accompanies Bayley everywhere she goes, her father is sure absent from all of the documentaries/behind the scenes specials WWE has done about NXT/the women’s revolution – it’s literally just her mom that’s there every time.

But all of that silly stuff aside, because those criticisms are just of those people and we need something more relevant. Alexa, in this segment and throughout the feud, criticizes Bayley because her “lifelong dream has been to be a WWE superstar” and that she couldn’t go out with her friends because she had to stay home to watch Raw and Smackdown.

Why are you, someone inside WWE, making fun of someone because they watch WWE? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Yes, how dare they want to watch the program you are currently on! How dare they want to work where you currently work! Come on Alexa – you’re making it look like someone who has a life long dream of working where both of you work is weird and it’s only okay for someone who stumbled into wrestling when it was never their passion before this is the only way to go…..Oh wait, I get it, that’s your story so obviously your experience is universal to others. I’m sorry, but we’ll stick with the people who’ve been passionate about this their entire life much more than someone who just decided they like this because the people in the back will push them for reasons other than talent.

It’s unfortunate that Bayley didn’t get in the ring and just say “I have no idea who these people are” so she saves face.

Anyways, they go on to have a Kendo Stick on a pole match at Extreme Rules – a match built on “Can Bayley get extreme?” – and it turns out, she couldn’t. She picked up the Kendo Stick but could not use it, and immediately lost in a five minute match – burying her.

These two things happened six days apart, and it killed the Bayley character. It literally took her up until this past week for her to gain any semblance of credibility back and it’s been over a year since this happened. Bayley – one of the foremothers (if that isn’t a word it is now) of the women’s revolution – the woman who is probably the face of the women’s division if you asked a fan, despite what WWE would have you believe it’s Charlotte – someone who was the female John Cena except universally loved, and is legitimately great in the ring, and was essentially a license to print money for WWE – became nothing. WWE sacrificed what should have been a cash cow for them and a source of excellent women’s matches for us at the altar of Alexa Bliss and for what? A year’s worth of decent promos and mediocre matches at best?? Poor choice.

And this is the biggest problem with Alexa’s promos in general. Sure, most of them are delivered well when we’re not doing awful This is Your Life segments, but they turn out to ALWAYS be right. If you want to see an honest character in WWE – it’s Alexa Bliss. And if that sounds like a positive, it isn’t. She’s a HEEL. Regardless of who people like and people liking heels and all of that – WWE’s goal is to create villains for you to boo and faces for you to cheer for – and while Roman is the prime example of them pushing someone as a face improperly, Alexa is the same on the opposite side of the coin. If everything Alexa says comes to pass, why should I root for her opponent? Why should I cheer the face? If Alexa says Bayley can’t get extreme, and then Bayley can’t – why shouldn’t I believe what Alexa says and root for her?

This is the first of multiple instances of this. And if Alexa will never get her comeuppance, then she is completely ineffective as a heel because that is her purpose. She, as a heel, is there to sell for the babyfaces and make them look good. And if you can’t serve your purpose, then you have no reason to be here. We’ll get more into the comeuppance and selling things later – because undoubtedly WWE thinks Nia Jax and inevitably Ronda Rousey have and/or will be her comeuppance, but if this comeuppance comes from others who don’t deserve it, it’s still completely ineffective. But for now, we move on.

Before we get to the next feud, it should be pointed out that somewhere in here Alexa’s alliance with Nia Jax starts. They start off mainly as an A.J. Lee and Tamina ripoff and not much more – Alexa has a mouth like A.J. with about half the promo ability and even starts sitting on the ropes like A.J. did, and Nia – well I guess you could argue Nia has more than half the talent Tamina does – I’m not wasting my time on that argument. But quite clearly, Alexa, you will never be A.J. – neither on the mic nor in the ring. It’s just funny that I find myself on the opposite side of this war against an AJ Lee-type character because I so long had to fight the AJ Lee vs. Bellas war, but it’s simple because AJ was so far superior to the Bellas and the AJ Lee type character in this one is so far inferior to the counterparts she’s taking away time from. And while AJ > Alexa is a given, and while I’m a huge AJ Lee fan, it still should be noted that as much as I love AJ, that she is no Sasha or Becky or Bayley, etc., in the ring, either. But she’s from right before this generation, so while her ring work was 100% better than those in the division with her at the time, the best women in the division are on a completely different level. That’s not A.J.’s fault, though, and she could still have tremendous matches with them if given the time.

Sasha Banks

Moving on from Bayley, Alexa Bliss moves into a feud with the next obvious challenger, Sasha Banks. It’s no surprise that with Becky and Charlotte on Smackdown, the next person to move on to after Bayley was Sasha, who won the #1 contendership in a gauntlet match. Now, some will say that all of the four horsewomen hate Alexa and view her as an outsider and so on – to that I say, the only one who might actually hate her is Sasha Banks. Charlotte has too much nepotism for her to care, and while Becky may have been more personal with her in promos, it’s clear that she and Bayley only do in character. Sasha on the other hand is the one that will get real with you – because she is constantly in character on and off tv and sees things for how they are. That’s how she gets a bad rap from the entitled male section of the entire wrestling fanbase (mainly because she hates stalkers and naturally the stalkers then blame her for themselves being terrible human beings).

So it’s not a surprise that the promos were more personal, because Sasha sees Alexa as she is – a little girl trying to play wrestler, not someone who is actually passionate about the business. And it should also be no surprise, this is where the stan war comes in. The AJ vs. Bellas stan war continues, but in this day and age, it’s now the Sasha stans vs. Alexa stans – the Sasha ones who actually enjoy women’s wrestling and the Alexa stans who are still trying to regress back to the Diva Era. Sasha represents women’s wrestling, Alexa represents the dark ages because she fits right into that era that the rest of us are trying to get away from.

The Blissfits like to blame Sasha for “breaking Alexa’s nose” back when Alexa was Sparkle Cheerleader Bliss (you know, the dark times no one talks about) because Alexa had a grand total of zero fans at the time so the fact that people are throwing a bitch fit over something years before they actually cared is quite comical. It’s even funnier because Alexa broke her nose because she herself forgot to put her hands out to stop her face from hitting the mat so hard, so it’s entirely her fault that [Alexa] broke her nose – it may explain why she’s so insistent on not bumping these days, though. (More later.)

The first match between them was fine, I suppose. It ended in a countout because it was on Great Balls of Fire and we can’t do big title wins on non-major shows. But the second match was at SummerSlam, and it was again, just alright. It was mainly just Bliss dominating most of it for the face to come back and win – which is what they do mostly. It wasn’t memorable, to be honest. In fact, the only thing I remember about this match is that someone was arrogant/ignorant enough to tell me that “Alexa outworked Sasha” in this match and it’s ten months later and I still  haven’t stopped laughing about it. Blissfits are that sad that they think that a match that was designed for the heel to dominate and the face to come back and win means that Alexa “outworked” someone because she did more moves or something, as if that’s what “outwork” means.

We’re going to need a wrestling terminology lesson in this post, too:

Doing more moves than someone doesn’t mean you “outworked” someone, but please try to tell me how you think wrestling is real, apparently. Every part of the match is part of the work – doing moves, taking moves, selling, working the crowd, etc., and Sasha naturally was doing all of that while Alexa did some moves and worked a crowd. And the fact that someone could think that someone who is quite clearly not as talented as Sasha “outworked” her is hilarious. Practically everyone in the women’s division outworks Alexa – saying otherwise is flat out disrespectful. (I imagine this Blissfit is the same fan that said that Nikki Bella once “carried” Paige. LMAO) Remember folks, talent is objective – whether you like someone or hate someone, their level of talent is the same. I love Sasha Banks. Sasha Banks is one of the best wrestlers in the world. These second statement is true regardless of the first statement. I don’t like Alexa Bliss. She’s an average wrestler but is fairly good on the mic. The second statement is not dependent on the first. Stop judging wrestlers’ ability based on your opinion on whether you like them or not.

Now that the wrestling terminology lesson is over, we get back to Alexa’s promos and how they’re a problem.

Remember how I said that Alexa is honest because what she says comes to pass every single time? And because of that, she never gets her comeuppance? Well, what do you think Alexa says about Sasha the next night? Well, obviously that she won the title three times but has never successfully defended it, because, like they had to sacrifice Bayley to the altar of Alexa Bliss, they had to sacrifice Sasha Banks at the hands of Charlotte and her precious PPV streak. (Something they threw away to Bayley a month BEFORE WrestleMania, btw. Good planning. But they gotta make those mediocre white blondes look strong.)

So Sasha loses her title on her first defense again because WWE doesn’t know what they’re doing. Yet again, Alexa is proven right, her comeuppance never comes, and her usefulness as a heel is completely nonexistent. Not only that, but immediately Nia Jax turns on Alexa for the first time which leads to nothing whatsoever because they become friends again within a month – making it completely stupid that they squashed the Sasha story to begin with. If they’d been intelligent, there’d have been a dirty finish here where Sasha keeps it but Alexa still has a claim to it, so they have another PPV match where Sasha wins normally and moves on. But WWE is dumb, so we move on with mediocrity instead.

Emma

Okay so I know what you’re saying – Emma and Alexa are both heels and never feuded with each other. But this isn’t so much about a feud as it is a missed opportunity. This part isn’t indicative of just Alexa Bliss, but also the women WWE pushes on a constant basis. WWE loves to push Charlotte. WWE loves to push Alexa Bliss. Mandy Rose is now a thing even though she’s so awful she doesn’t even belong on tv. Natalya. Lana. Lacey Evans. Dana Brooke. Carmella. White. Blonde. Most of them tall. All of them average or worse. Some of them have some good qualities (Carmella, Lana) but most of them, not so much. Just like they have a type with the dudes they push, they have a type with the women they push too.

And then there’s the women who fit most of this mold but get nothing. Right now we have Candice LeRae, but she’s safe in NXT for now. And we have Toni Storm, who isn’t quite in NXT yet.

But a year ago, we had Emma. And this ties into Alexa because Alexa was the only one of the five listed above that were on Raw at the same time as Emma.

So, Emma, like Alexa Bliss, is blonde, is good on the mic, and is good looking. (In fact, way hotter.) Unlike Alexa, Emma is tall, is exceptional in the ring, and can play any character. Not only that, but like Alexa Bliss has a good comeback story after having dealt with anorexia in her real life – which is great – Emma also has a great comeback story and it’s actually related to wrestling!

In Emma’s own words: “Six months ago today I couldn’t bend over to put my shoes on. I couldn’t lift my arms up to get dressed. I couldn’t hold my hand up to do my makeup. I couldn’t sit stand or walk without pain. I knew it was bad when I realized all these things weren’t going away and when the left side of my spine and neck started to constantly spasm. It was even more scary finding out I needed surgery on my spine right away because the spasms and the weakness in my left arm were from nerve damage from the herniated disc pressing on my spinal cord. But in that instant all I could think was that I was lucky I wasn’t paralyzed! Six months ago I had surgery and you can see the removed disc above.”

Emma was nearly paralyzed and fought for a year to come back – and what did they do with her? They tried to push her as some bullshit Emmalina gimmick just because she was posting hot bikini photos on Instagram or something, even though she had the perfect character down as it was before this. They delayed that for forever, and then when they decided to debut her as this, they decided to scrap it because they “decided she couldn’t play the character” even though it was the character that was trash and she could play anything you give her.

You could have been pushing Emma in the exact same spot they were pushing Alexa, and we could have gotten better stories, better promos, and better matches. Instead, they continued to waste Emma’s talent and time until they released her so she could go to promotions that actually appreciate her and not waste her time and talent. That’s why Tenille Dashwood is killing it on the indies and there’s no longer any Emma in WWE.

Mickie James

So after the Sasha feud ended, which somehow ended in a five way match because feuds totally end in five way matches, Alexa suddenly entered a feud with…..Mickie James? Because Mickie James was relevant at the time so….?? But I guess since Alexa said something about Mickie on the post-PPV Raw talk about Mickie that we have to get a month long feud out of it. (Even though a month ago Nia had turned on Alexa and presumably that was supposed to mean something?)

This feud was completely pointless. Were we supposed to think Mickie James was going to take the title from Alexa Bliss when she’d done fuck all for six months? And not only that – you might think that I’d already hated Alexa by this point because of what I’ve already written, but you’d be wrong. I had some spite for her, yes, but it was actually this feud that ruined her beyond the point of no return. But we’ll get to that.

Remember the Alexa promo problem? Well, let’s see – she called Mickie James run down and not able to hang with the competitors of today.

What does Mickie do to disprove this? Um, well, she calls Alexa Biscuit Butt – because apparently we reached a time post-Women’s Revolution where we have women making fun of each other’s body parts which is so totally feminist of them and not some diva era bullshit – and then she loses to Alexa twice.

And the second time she lost in the main event. To a slap. Or a punch. It doesn’t matter which, it’s awful.

That is some – say it with me now – DIVA ERA LEVEL BULLSHIT.

This is not Alexa’s “character” no matter how many times someone tries to tell you it is. This is just bullshit. I don’t care if this is the finish you were given. This is some year 2000 WWE video game standard diva finisher bullshit. The “Woman’s Special Slap,” remember? This is what Alexa Bliss just did. It is indefensible in the year 2018 to have that be the finish of a main event title match.

Any chance of you making me take Alexa Bliss seriously again without serious repacking and improvement went out the window once she won a match with a slap-punch to retain the title in the main event of Raw. Because when you do this, you’re telling me that a slap from Alexa Bliss – someone who clearly isn’t THAT physically strong – can knock out someone bigger than her with a slap-punch – and I cannot suspend my disbelief for that. I can buy Asuka knocking someone out with a kick. Maybe a punch from Nia. That’s about it. Alexa couldn’t do that with a fist alone. It’s kind of like when they tried for over a year to make us think that Nikki Bella’s forearm thingy that looked weak as fuck was a devastating maneuver.

So Alexa’s in ring credibility – whatever credibility she had – is completely gone. And she’s done nothing since then to recover from it.

Charlotte

Okay, so there’s really nothing much to say about the “feud” with Charlotte because it’s just a pointless interpromotional match at Survivor Series that means nothing. But, I’ll give Alexa this – as much as I don’t like her, I will always pick Bliss over Charlotte any time you give me this option. That doesn’t really make Alexa a good choice, it just means that Charlotte is way, way worse. Again, a post about her is perhaps even MORE well deserved than this one, but that’s not worth my time for several reasons.

In the end, I know that WWE will put Charlotte over every other woman on the roster- no matter who they are and no matter who they look like. The proof is in this match because Charlotte won. And while Bliss has her crazy fanbase of casual fans, there are many casual fans and also so called smart fans alike who think Charlotte is a wrestling god and the best female wrestler to ever exist which is so unbelievably far from the truth. It’s unbelievable what people will buy just because WWE sells it to them as such. It’s amazing that for years smart fans booed Cena and hated him more than anything, and now they do that with Roman – but Charlotte and Alexa are pushed in the exact same way that they push Cena and Roman and you don’t hear a peep about it from the masses. Alexa is starting to just a little bit, but for the most part – people continue to think Charlotte is god and that Alexa is somehow underrated. And if I had a dollar for every time I heard a female wrestler from the past go on a podcast and answer the “If you could have one more match who would it be with” with Charlotte, or any former WWE star say “I love what they’re doing with the women – with Charlotte” as if Charlotte had anything really to do with building this division, or just any former wrestling star in general go out of their way to kiss Charlotte’s ass – I’d be fucking rich. And that’s why there’s no post about Charlotte – because that would be a lost cause. And I would like to believe Bliss could be saved – that she could be sent back to NXT where she could actually learn what else she needs to to be a worthwhile member of the roster and actually have the good matches her fans so blindly think she already has. But she won’t.

And that’s why this post happens for her – because it’s almost a wish to save her before it’s too late. But, since it won’t – enjoy Bliss while you have her, Blissfits.

Because she won’t be here forever. Charlotte is around because of the same reasons as Alexa is, plus the family name nepotism. Vince saw Alexa and said “Oh a hot blonde, that’s my girl” without actually looking at her ability – because he doesn’t care about that. He never has, he never will. The thing is, when Vince dies, the Charlotte nepotism will continue because Triple H still loves her and would never do anything to upset his best friend Ric.

But Triple H values talent more often then not. And while he’s blinded to Charlotte’s lack of talent because of his friendship with Ric, he’s not blinded to Alexa’s. What did Alexa do in NXT? Mostly nothing. She had some matches, but she was mostly a valet to Blake and Murphy. They played up her strengths – facial expressions, character, and mic work – and hid her deficiencies by not having her wrestle that often. And when she did it was mostly in mixed tags or other tag matches where she wasn’t in the ring constantly. Triple H knows what she’s good and bad at – and when Vince dies, guess whose push dies? Alexa’s.

Um…..Nothing?

So after Survivor Series, which was on November 17th, I was wondering why Alexa’s Wiki was completely blank about anything she did up until Elimination Chamber – which I know she had a feud with Asuka which we’ll get to – but since I know that started on Christmas Raw, that still left everything between November 18th and December 25th. And I remember now, and in partial thanks to ProFightDB.com, that Alexa Bliss did absolutely nothing between this time. She wasn’t injured but she also had a grand total of zero televised matches. She may have been on commentary for some matches but she did absolutely nothing. You know who else spent a month doing fuck all as champion? Well, Brock Lesnar most recently (and he’s gotta go because we need a world champ), but let’s see….I don’t know….is it Nikki Bella? Oh, yea, it was Nikki Bella, when she didn’t defend the title for over a month but was still somehow champion despite the 30 day rule. And even if she’s not defending the title – you mean to tell me that the champion of your women’s division is not going to compete for over a month when she is not injured and you are having weekly tv shows? You can’t tell me there’s not something wrong there – because legitimately any other women’s champion not named Alexa Bliss would be having matches at least every other week. Even Nikki regularly competed despite not defending the title according to the rule.

Asuka

So once Christmas hit, there was basically no one left for Alexa besides Asuka. Asuka, the then undefeated killer from NXT. Asuka, that wrestler that I couldn’t buy Alexa lasting in a ring with for more than a minute. To Asuka, Alexa is a fly that – if wrestling was real – Asuka would swat away in about 19 seconds and never have to hear from again. But that’s not what happens in WWE because matches are choreographed, obviously.

What’s funny is that, after the first segment between Asuka and Alexa, where Asuka kicked her face off, I read a Blissfit so ignorantly say that he had to witness Alexa be “fed” to Asuka. This is like that Nikki “carried” Paige thing again.

Here’s some more wrestling terminology for idiots:

To feed a wrestler to another is to have a superior wrestler get destroyed by an inferior one to make the inferior one look strong. It’s like when they suddenly pushed Ryback against CM Punk – Punk was being fed to Ryback. That’s how it works. So, in this instance, that statement means Asuka was inferior to Alexa Bliss. Which, as you can probably tell, is hysterically stupid to literally anyone who knows anything about wrestling. You want to know why?

Okay, say it with me guys:

Talent. Is. Objective!

Good. I’m glad you remembered. I shouldn’t have to explain that to people, but apparently there are people who do not realize this.

Now that the second wrestling terminology lesson is over, we get back to the regularly scheduled program.

So, the next week, Alexa has one of two matches with Asuka. And what should have essentially been the same as their segment from the week prior – Asuka immediately kicks Bliss’s face off and wins in seconds – we get a long and drawn out match. It was somewhat boring, to be honest. And I’m sitting here thinking, like most of us – Bliss is really having a bad match with Asuka. And I just don’t know how that happens – because outside of squash matches against Dana Brooke, all of Asuka’s other matches are at least good – except arguably the most recent one with Carmella, but that was definitely better than the Bliss match. If you can’t have a good match with Asuka you probably should be in developmental learning your craft.

Anyways, Asuka wins, so naturally she has a right to have a title match whenever she wants to, but instead of using that, she just goes to the Rumble and wins the Rumble – because apparently even though she beat the champion and had a better undefeated streak than Goldberg’s, she still needed to win a Royal Rumble to have the right to face Alexa Bliss at WrestleMania. Which of course, she didn’t even choose Alexa to face – which I guess is good because again, I’d want something more than a nineteen second squash at Mania and that’s what Asuka/Alexa would have had to have been to be believable. But what we got was way worse for both brand’s women’s titles.

Elimination Chamber and WM34 Alternatives

So after the Rumble, they decided to play the “Who is Asuka going to face at Mania?” game and it started to come out that they wanted to do Alexa vs. Nia and Charlotte vs. Asuka, two matches no one in their right mind could want. There was no reason to do Charlotte vs. Asuka when Charlotte vs. Becky was sitting there ready to happen, and, after Sasha and Asuka had the best WWE women’s match of the year the night after the Rumble, it’d be literally insane of them not to do that at Mania.

Unfortunately, as we know, WWE is insane. They would rather torture us with awful matches between Alexa and Nia then actually good wrestling matches that we actually want – basically because WWE hates us and has a mediocre white blonde problem.

It just doesn’t make any sense at all – you have some of the best wrestlers in the world in Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch and both are stuck in a preshow battle royal because you feel the need to put focus on Alexa Bliss, Charlotte, and Nia Jax – all of which barely even belong on the main roster as it is.

So we go into the Elimination Chamber match where basically Sasha and Bayley do all of the work (as always) while Alexa (naturally) comes out last and does literally like, three things and wins. She did a flip off the chamber which apparently is enough for her fans to think she did something worthy of praise – so, I guess if we’re giving out participation awards, Alexa is truly the goddess of them.

Nia Jax

So, we move on to the god awful Nia Jax feud. The feud between two people I don’t like – and one where I’m basically forced to root for Alexa even though her title reign has been going on far too long at this point and needed to end months ago – and yet I have to root for continued boredom over an even bigger dumpster fire.

And honestly, there’s no better description of the beginning of this feud than the related comments from my WrestleMania predictions post:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This is the best thing they can come up with for the women’s title HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What a fucking joke. “Hi we’re WWE and we care about our women and here’s this title match between mediocrity and trash” aka Alexa “I think getting rid of Net Neutrality is a good idea and I won a match with a slap so clearly I’m actually a good wrestler even though I’m afraid to take a bump” Bliss and Nia “I’m gonna walk out of the company because I lost to someone who can actually wrestle. Also I’m related to the Rock” Jax. Good God. WHY? WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR FANS WWE? WHY ARE YOU INSULTING OUR INTELLIGENCE THAT THIS WAS THE BEST WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH YOU CAN COME UP WITH? LMAO FUCK OFF. “HI WE’RE WWE AND WE CARE ABOUT OUR WOMEN BUT HERE’S OUR MEDIOCRE CHAMPIONS WHILE OUR GOOD WOMEN ARE STUCK ON THE PRESHOW IN A BATTLE ROYAL.” Anyways, now that that’s over, for now – this is trash and you know you’re fucking up when you make me root for someone as mediocre as Bliss. So am I supposed to feel bad for Nia? Because I don’t. I don’t need to have my awareness raised to fatshaming because I don’t fatshame people – I’m normal and don’t need to be told I shouldn’t call people bad names. I don’t care about who Nia is, what she looks like, etc. Fact remains she’s bad at her job so until she improves, she doesn’t belong being the champion. This should be on the preshow. Anyways, as much as I’m going to hate Jax as a champion, I’m going to laugh at the sorry Alexa stans when their mediocre hero loses to basically the worst possible option that isn’t Many Rose – and quite honestly, Alexa fans deserve it not only for their insane notion that Alexa is actually a good wrestler just because she has decent mic skills, but because they also think this match is a “dream match” even though for something to be a dream match, it needs to be between two good wrestlers – and this match doesn’t even have one.

That was the nice version of that rant.

So, the match happens at Mania and naturally it was awful. Literally the only way to do it right was a squash match. Instead they wasted all of our time in a ten minute long, awful match – the worst match on the show and one of the worst women’s matches ever on Mania. It’s really sad that they think this is what quality wrestling is.

So now the title is finally off of Alexa – which should be a good thing – but it went on to someone worse. So naturally they get a rematch at Backlash and in doing so, Bliss cuts promos painting Nia as a bully. They have another terrible match at Backlash and Nia retains.

Nia moves on to have an inexplicable feud with Ronda Rousey. You remember that problem with Alexa’s promos where everything she says about her opponents comes true? Well, Nia immediately starts bullying her opponents, proving Alexa right and continuing to make her an ineffective heel.

Money in the Bank/Ronda Rousey

After this feud ended, she got entered into the Money in the Bank match. That in itself is not a problem. As much as she is mediocre, she is credible and there should be people with credibility in the match. The problem was that they had three clones of her in the match too, in Charlotte, Natalya, and Lana. It’s a surprise that Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke weren’t in it so they could have as many mediocre white blondes in the match as possible. Hell, throw in Carmella and Lacey Evans – it’d be the Vince McMahon dream match. Still, they should have replaced Natalya with Bayley and Lana with Peyton Royce. And to be completely honest Alexa should have been Ruby Riott and Charlotte should have been Billie Kay.

The problem was that they actually gave Alexa Bliss the briefcase. They marketed the MITB match as a match that could “change your life” and the winner was the one who’d been champion for basically all of the past year – and hadn’t been out of the title picture more than six weeks before this happened. And then, not only that, but the blind morons that the Chicago fans have become since CM Punk left, they actually cheered this because they’ve bought the mediocre trash that WWE is trying to sell them, and cheered again when she won the title back from Nia. I’ve been ashamed to be a part of the Chicago crowd for a while now, but this was the cherry on top. Chicago is supposed to be a “smart town” but they’ve been pretty dumb as fuck recently – it’s like we’re suddenly a moronic conservative crowd from the south or something.

In that moment, it was like watching a revolution dying….to thunderous applause.

(It wasn’t really thunderous when you watch it back, but when you’re actually in the crowd, it’s hard not to think it is. While the Chicago crowd is full of idiots, at least the internet has started to figure it out a bit more now that the sparkle of Alexa seems to have worn off on them.)

And now they’re moving on to have her feud with Ronda Rousey at SummerSlam – because when people thought “OMG Ronda Rousey is here” they were totally waiting for her to feud with…..Alexa Bliss? LOL. Ronda will need to be carried and you can’t be carried by someone WHO NEEDS TO BE CARRIED! Put Ronda in the ring with people who are proven in the ring like Asuka or Becky or Sasha.

Now leading up to this it was about as silly as you would expect when you think of Alexa trying to take down Ronda Rousey. Now, I don’t have any positive feelings towards either of them so I’m just going to go off of what WWE wants us to think Ronda is – an untouchable badass. So if I view Ronda as the untouchable badass I’m supposed to, what am I supposed to believe Alexa Bliss can do to her? Absolutely nothing. Alexa is a gnat in comparison and Ronda could beat her simply by flicking her with her finger – which Alexa wouldn’t sell.

Not to mention that their match at SummerSlam had to be rehearsed move for move all week because they have to protect Ronda and Alexa can’t carry a match. It’s gotten that bad that the person you are having Ronda Rousey – the woman WWE is trying to push as some kind of fighting god – take the title from, the woman who is supposed to be such a huge threat, has to rehearse her match move for move because that’s the only way it won’t look awful.

Meanwhile they will keep of the five most talented women on the main roster not named Becky Lynch off of SummerSlam entirely so that they don’t overshadow Alexa and Ronda because you know that they absolutely will without barely raising a finger. You are keeping people from getting paydays simply for being good at what they do in favor of giving mediocrity even more time in the spotlight and even more money while the ratings suffer because of it.

Now, ultimately, the match with Ronda was exactly what it should have been – Ronda murdering Alexa without Alexa getting any offense in whatsoever. Why Alexa needs to rehearse doing absolutely nothing we’ll never know. Of course Alexa getting no offense in sparked a lot of her moronic fanbase to complain that she looked weak – as if she was capable of something more than she did in this match to whom we’re supposed to believe is an untouchable badass. Let me assure you, if someone with offense as inconsequential as Bliss’s had done anything more to such an untouchable badass, the match would have gone too far into the realm of absurdity. If we want realistic matches then what we got at SummerSlam between these two is exactly the depiction of a fight between these two would be. Anything else would have been awful booking.

And rest assured, Bliss will not be champion again for a long time.

Trish Stratus and Evolution

Now I’m only going to touch on this a little bit because, in the end, we all knew this was coming well before they announced this. Yes, their biggest female legend (in their eyes) should be saved for their biggest female star at Evolution (Sasha Banks), but we can’t overlook their desire to have their current mediocre white blonde face the quintessential white blonde at Evolution. They can even market it as Trish Stratus vs. Trash Stratus. You’d think Trish would have some more pull because of who she is – and she wanted Sasha, and Sasha wanted her. That moment between the two in the Rumble was the best part of the match.

And it’s not that Trish is some kind of excellent wrestler or something, mind you – rest assured she’s as overrated as Alexa is – it’s more of their best talent on the roster in Sasha should be getting to face what WWE would have you believe is the end all, be all. But it’s clear that this PPV is being created by Vince McMahon, someone who doesn’t give a single shit about women’s wrestling, and not Triple H, who does. And since Vince loves blondes who can’t wrestle, this is what we get. Also considering his other idea is Ronda vs. Nikki Bella, you know how much Vince doesn’t get it considering one of those matches is going to main event an women’s PPV when the finals of the MYC is going to be – and the thought of that being an undercard match to one of those two is flat out absurd.

So, let Alexa and Trish have their bad match because niether of them can carry the other. It will be a piss break for those of us who actually care. Laugh at them and Ronda vs. Nikki while the rest of the actually talented women tear the house down. Reportedly they leaked Alexa vs. Trish early because they want to help ticket sales – because apparently in their eyes Alexa in yet another featured match will help draw more eyes on the show – even though it’s their gross misrepresentation of what good women’s wrestling is and grand underutilization of their actual talent is what’s shot this women’s revolution in the foot at every turn.

Now that the feuds are over, a small reprieve.

I guess maybe I should take a moment to explain why this matters so much to me, because you may be wondering “Why is this rando spending all this time writing such a long post about women’s wrestling in WWE – aren’t you used to this?”

Well, for me personally, after CM Punk left, there was a big void left because my favorite was gone. If one were to have read my blog for years (which like maybe one person has), they’d see that this was a tough time for me as a wrestling fan, and while I still watched weekly, I kind of floundered around for a bit trying to figure out who the next heir to the throne of “My favorite wrestler” would go to after Punk left. For a while I thought it’d be Dean Ambrose, then I thought it would be Finn Balor, and then I thought it would be Kevin Owens – and while I do love those guys – they all fell just short of hitting that mark. But what picked me up was the women’s revolution – I’d always enjoyed women’s wrestling since the time I started watching, but we know WWE’s history when it comes to women so I don’t need to go on about it. And when I finally saw the potential of what WWE could do if they, you know, tried, I got behind it full force. I cried after four Takeover matches from what these four were able to do. I became a huge fan of Sasha Becky and Bayley throughout 2015 – and while they’ve all played hot potato with who I love most between the three of them, over time Sasha Banks has leaped over both as not just my favorite of the three, and not just my favorite female wrestler, but she is my favorite wrestler period. (Becky is close behind.) And unfortunately, where Sasha, Becky, and Bayley have worked hard (among several others) to build and carry this division and revolution on their backs, it’s crap like the Charlotte and Alexa Bliss pushes that show how much farther there really is to go – because right now we’ve reached the “WWE has done something and wants you to kiss their ass because of it, even though all they really did was push the worst of the talent to the moon while they fed them the good talent – and in doing so managed to blind countless people into thinking these overhyped blondes that still 100% fit the mold of women from the diva era are actually good” point of the revolution. Or, I should say, regressing back to where we were before it. Alexa Bliss and Charlotte are the torchbearers of the death of the revolution. I haven’t felt this kind of pain since CM Punk left, and I refuse to just allow that to happen.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

Let’s Do the Math

WWE really doesn’t deserve me going easy on them for this. If they’re going to push the fact that they “care about women’s wrestling now” then I will hold them to the standard that that statement makes me expect of them. It makes me expect no less than the best women’s wrestling – the best women’s wrestlers having quality storylines and great matches. That means that I expect them to push the talent they have in accordance to their level of skill. Triple H for the most part gets this right in NXT. I expect the same from the main roster. But right now they absolutely do not push people based on merit/their actual ability.

In an age where WWE wants you to believe that they care about women’s wrestling instead of having women to attract the male gaze, they still don’t. They pretend so that they look good while really only caring about white blonde women who are marginally better than women from years past. That’s how we end up with mediocre talents like Charlotte, Alexa Bliss, Natalya, Lana, Mandy Rose, and Dana Brooke (Exceptions to the rule: Ronda and Nia) winning literally everything they don’t deserve or getting pushes long before they’re ready while their vastly superior coworkers Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Bayley, Asuka, Ember Moon, Ruby Riott, the IIconics, and more get crumbs.

And it’s not like I’m just spouting off some bullshit, either. It’s provable. Not only is talent objective, but their popularity among fans is quantifiable. Just look at everyone’s social media followers just on Twitter alone:

As of August 21st, only main roster women:

Ronda Rousey 3.64 million*
Bella Twins 3.51 million*
Natalya 2 million*
Sasha Banks 1.65 million
Charlotte 1.32 million
Becky Lynch 1.29 million
Bayley 1.13 million
Lana 1.04 million*
Naomi 997 thousand*
Alexa Bliss 983 thousand*
Carmella 709 thousand*
Nia Jax 435 thousand*
Asuka 365 thousand
Peyton Royce 235 thousand
Billie Kay 203 thousand
Ember Moon 190 thousand

So according to social media we should be pushing people in that order, however we do need to account for a couple of things. One, the women at the bottom have been on the main roster for a short amount of time and they only have a small follower base because of that. In a year they’ll be around where Bliss/Carmella are. Also, the asterisks are for women who gain followers not just from wrestling but from Total Divas/Total Bellas which doesn’t count because they are not a wrestling audience. It’s the only reason the Bellas are at 3.56 million – otherwise they’d be at about half of that if they’d stuck to just being wrestlers because that’s where everyone else is at. (See also, Natalya at 2.1 million – she would definitely not be over a million without them. And everyone on Total Divas would lose at least 25% of their following had they not been on it.) Also, Ronda Rousey brought that following from UFC and thus doesn’t count. We ware talking about wrestlers who are popular because of wrestling. (The only female wrestler that’s past two million because of solely wrestling is A.J. Lee who has 5.08 million – but take into account a portion who followed because “CM Punk’s wife” because sexism and also from her book – but even that was about her wrestling career.)

So you want to push people according to their popularity and their wrestling? Well guess who the clear favorite is? Sasha Banks, naturally. And the other four horsewomen are behind her.

But who do they push the most? Well here’s everyone’s total time as champion on the main roster, as compared to significant and/or combined title reigns of other female wrestlers since 2013. These stats are as of August 21st.

Calculated by: (Number of combined days as champion)/(Total number of days on the main roster, excluding time gone for injuries or other time off)

Alexa Bliss: 65% (507/779)
Charlotte: 57% (614/1070) (Current Champ)
AJ Lee: 34% (406/1207)
Nikki Bella: 19.5% (301/1540) (2013-now) (10.7% = 307/2881 if 1st run included)
Carmella: 17% (132/779)
Paige: 14% (121/843)
Ronda Rousey: 10.5% (25/239) (Current Champ)
Bayley: 10% (76/764)
Nia Jax: 9.4% (70/743)
Becky Lynch: 7.6% (85/1114)
Sasha Banks: 7.5% (84/1114)
Naomi: 6.1% (149/2424)
Natalya: 4.5% (157/3487) (Includes Divas Title reign from 2010)

So, even though clearly Sasha and Bayley are far more popular than Alexa Bliss is, they’ve been champion far less of their main roster careers where Alexa has been the champion the vast majority of her time. Charlotte has been the champion the majority of her time as well, but – to be fair – Charlotte would be above her in terms of percentage if they started at the same time. (Taking a full 365 days out of Charlotte’s time puts her at a whopping 87% As much as this post is about Alexa, again, do keep in mind that Charlotte will always be an even bigger problem.)

Match Quality

Now, despite all of our different preferences for whom we like and whom we don’t, we’re all wrestling fans. So, when it’s all said and done, that means that, in spite of any and all division between us, that we all enjoy good wrestling matches, right? And regardless of who we like, we shouldn’t have such a divide regarding whether a match is good or not. I’m not really one who is big on star ratings and I think Dave Meltzer is a snob that should always be taken with a grain of salt (even though sadly his ratings will be a part of this post in a bit), but a match in itself is what it is. An opinion on it may vary, but if it’s well regarded as good or bad then a rating that’s on the complete opposite end of the spectrum is likely from some kind of bias for or against someone in the match. For example, tons of people hate on Roman – for valid reasons – but while some of his matches (like the Jinder match and his matches with Brock) are very bad, not all of them are. So saying “All Roman matches are trash” is completely biased and false, even though there are people who will say that because they hate him so much.

So when I see an Alexa Bliss match, and basically each one of them is at most decent, I shouldn’t be seeing “Oh her match with Nia Jax was outstanding.” But most of her fans seem to think her matches are amazing. And I just don’t understand. I thought we were all wrestling fans and thus we should be able to know what a good match is and vice versa.

But they are blind to many problems, it seems.

Remember how I said that once in NXT, Alexa screwed up and didn’t put her hands down so that her face slammed on the mat and she broke her nose? Well, that apparently traumatized her so badly now that she refuses to take a bump.

EDIT: Apparently the account who made this threat that I link to below was suspended. The Blissfits must have paid Twitter or something to help silence the truth.

Now, there’s a number of botch gifs in here too, but I’m not so much talking about those as I am about the numerous instances in this thread where someone goes to kick her or to slam her and she flat out falls down or moves out of the way to avoid taking the bump. She falls down well before taking a dropkick from Asuka, a Big Boot from Charlotte, and instead of taking the Press Slam from Nia, she decides to fall onto her feet first and then fall over and thinking we’ll just ignore the fact that she landed on her feet. Instead of falling onto the floor from the top rope, she rolls off the rope and onto the apron and then onto the floor.

I thought this business was called PROFESSIONAL wrestling. If you’re going to be booked as a brand’s champion for so long, and thus, for all intents and purposes be, in their eyes, its top star of the brand, the least you can do is ACTUALLY BE A PROFESSIONAL. You have other wrestlers in the division nearly killing themselves every night to put on an entertaining show and then you have Alexa who won’t take a simple dropkick without falling too early. Do your job, Alexa.

And the worst one is the gif where she moves out of the way of Naomi’s moonsault to not take the impact (not because she was supposed to counter, but because she wanted to take as little impact as possible), she causes Naomi to land on her knees and sustain an injury. What a professional. I really hate blaming wrestlers for other wrestlers getting injured because 99% of the time its unfounded and full of bias, but in all of the other cases it was between two professionals who TOOK THE BUMP THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE. Alexa even manages to do this wrong.

Alexa even knows she has a problem with bumping because fans call her out on Twitter for needing to learn how to bump and she tells them “I WILL WHEN YOU DO.” That statement, regardless of what it means to a fan, means she KNOWS she needs to learn how to bump. And apparently she won’t learn until the wrestling fan does – even though the wrestling fan is not currently planning on learning how to wrestle so she has no need to, meanwhile Alexa is the WOMEN’S CHAMPION – meaning it is her JOB to both know how to take a bump, and actually take them. She later tweets that “You must HATE that your champion can’t wrestle” even though literally no one in the crowd during  the match she just had chanted that she couldn’t wrestle – so she herself just said that she can’t wrestle without prompt.

If you’re as committed to this job as you claim to be, this is not how you act – not in the ring and not when facing justified criticism. If you aren’t a finished product you have no right to be a five time champion.

And not only that, but she also decides to get a tattoo two days before she has a big ladder match that just maybe she might have to do something in – especially since you are winning – but you get a tattoo and thus can only take minimal bumps because of it. Or she has a surgical procedure done but still goes out to the ring for tag matches and promptly never tags in. If you want these tattoos or surgeries that’s cool – do what you want with your body, you have 100% authority over that – but just wait until after you have the big match so you can actually participate in it to your fullest capability. If everyone else in your division is busting their ass for scraps, you bet your ass that you’d better be doing the same and more to be champion as long as you have been.

Oh, and by the way, we have now reached a time where she’s not only had a bad match with Asuka, but she’s also had a bad match with Ember Moon. Both of them. It should be impossible to have a match with only one of them but she’s had one with BOTH. And since she’s the common factor it’s clearly on her.

Also, she then says the following in an interview:

 

Now, there are a number of things wrong with this. One, absolutely nobody was criticizing her not doing any flashy moves at all – we’re intelligent fans, we know heels don’t do “flashy” moves and we weren’t expecting her to. The fact that she doesn’t actually have any flashy moves in her repertoire besides her occasional Twisted-Bliss-to-Make-My-Fans-Pretend-I-Did-Something-Significant-in-this-Match^TM is besides the point. Although the fact that she said this now makes all of the Blissfits think that this is in fact the criticism people have of her and will use it in every defense. Also, she says “me not being able to wrestle” which again, no one says – the criticism is her unwillingness to take any form of bump or contact. The fact that she brings “ability to wrestle” clearly shows an inferiority complex. And most importantly, she thinks her character’s main thing is being a bad wrestler which hurts her and her opponent – not only do fans not get into her matches because they know her matches are boring, they then don’t help her opponents when they beat her because there’s no heat and it’s basically like her opponent beat a stalk of cauliflower. Same difference. Inevitably when Ronda takes the title from her, it will mean nothing because the big badass from the UFC took down a vegetable.

Also, does she realize that being a heel doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be able to wrestle? Inability to wrestle heat is the worst kind of heat because it’s basically Go Away heat. It’s not heat that makes us want you to see you get your ass kicked (THE EXACT JOB OF A HEEL), it’s the kind of heat that makes us want you to just go away and since we know that won’t happen, it makes us change the channel when you’re on or fast forward to actually entertaining parts of the show – which hurts her opponents too. No matter who her opponent is, even if they are exceptional,  she gets fast forwarded through which somehow makes Vince blame her opponent even when Alexa is always the common factor.

And to go along with match quality, some more empirical evidence for you. Now, again, the opinion of Dave Meltzer is taken way too seriously on the internet, but for two reasons we are using his star ratings. For one, the vast majority of wrestling fans put tons of stock into his ratings – I’m in the minority – so while I don’t care about him, sadly his ratings are relevant. And, more importantly, I need a consistent list of ratings for matches from one person – I need this list because I want a list of matches judged the same way as all of the others because getting ratings from different people can vary. I might judge a match differently than you – based upon different criteria – and come to different conclusions. (Although those conclusions should still be similar.) And while I would rather use someone else’s ratings if I could, Meltzer’s are both taken in high regard and also readily available.

Now I’m not going to give a list of all of her matches and all of her coworkers for comparison like I did earlier. I don’t have the time. But, this you can do on your own if you want to see the ratings in front of you. I’ve already looked at them for what I have to say. If you want to see for yourself, go to http://www.profightdb.com and search Alexa Bliss and then click star ratings, and it will bring up all of her major PPV matches and/or any other match Meltzer rated. You can also search other women in the company and do the same.

Alexa’s highest one on one rated match is 3.25 stars – against Bayley at Payback. (Ironically of all the matches listed, I actually agree that’s probably the best one.) Meanwhile, Sasha, Bayley, Becky, Charlotte, Asuka, and Ember Moon have all had matches at and above four stars. So don’t try to tell me Alexa is a better wrestler than them because certainly she’d at least have one if she was capable of them. (One on one, don’t try to bring up a multi person match because they can be attributed to far more factors than just two people in the ring. Chamber and MITB are higher than 3.25 but you can’t pinpoint the reason for that on Alexa, significantly.)

We already talked about the fact that Alexa’s promos on her opponents always turn out to be right, but to go along with that, her lack of bumping is also a major factor in why she never gets her comeuppance. Both of those make her unable to get the face over, and make her an ineffective heel. That and the fact that people blindly cheer her for being attractive because they’re being fooled by a pair of wrestling trunks.

Also, because Alexa just doesn’t know how to not say stupid things in interviews because of her inferiority complex:

“I’ve head a very fortunate time” is an interesting way to describe someone who does the bare minimum both in ring and during her off time to get better and has politicked her way into the spots she has.

She wants to “elevate the Women’s Evolution” but has done literally nothing to help it and has done far more harm in the past year that will take a long time to fix. She’s only saying that so that she looks better, and that she looks like such a good person to her fans. In reality, what’s happening is that she knows that her title reign is basically over now that Ronda is taking it from her, and she wants to make it seem like she’s doing something helpful and is relevant when her championship days are over by helping the new girls instead of what she’s actually going to be doing – which is fading into obscurity. Let me assure you, Alexa, that the new women that haven’t been called up yet and the rest of the women on the roster that haven’t had their proper day in the spotlight yet don’t need your help. To think that the likes of Sasha, Ember, Bayley, the IIconics, Ruby, Dakota, Kairi, Bianca, Toni, and Io need the help of practically useless Alexa is both hilarious to think about and pretentious of Alexa to think her assistance is required – especially since she’s done so much to harm some of those women I’ve already mentioned and the women as a whole. God – imagine her going up to Io Shirai and trying to give her advice about wrestling. Bitch, please.

(Also, as an aside, maybe don’t mention anything about WWE’s newly re-association with Hulk Hogan’s racist ass. We already know you’re a conservative and apparently anti-net neutrality so that plus all the harm you’ve done to the women’s division already makes us know you’re an awful human, so adding this on is just showing us how bad you really are.)

Also, Alexa is far more fitting to be a champion in the divas era – aka the dark ages.

Read this regarding Vince McMahon’s mindset in terms of the women’s division – and how it hasn’t changed at all: https://www.google.com/amp/www.mandatory.com/wrestlezone/news/968623-ex-wwe-creative-member-dishes-on-superstars-vince-finds-unattractive-memory-lapses/amp

So, Alexa is in fact champion just because Vince thinks she’s good looking. And she’s a carbon copy of what we’d see back before we had this revolution. Unfortunately while they decided to regress and put this diva level shit on our screens, the rest of us have moved past this and will not go back to the stone age.

Because, like it or not, we are moving forward. There isn’t room for people who take after the Bellas or the Kelly Kellys because, unlike what many ignorant people (including Alexa herself), not every woman that’s ever been in the company paved the way forward for the women of today. Alundra Blaze, Jacqueline, Ivory, Chyna, Trish, Lita, Victoria, Beth, Molly Holly, Mickie and A.J. Lee paved the way forward for the women of today. Meanwhile the Kelly Kellys and Candice Michelles and the Bellas have been trying to pull us backwards throughout this time.

When the onset of the Women’s Revolution, WWE made the fans a promise – whether they are aware of it or not remains to be seen – but the promise remains. They said that there was a revolution themselves, and that means that they would start taking women’s wrestling seriously. (Something they should have done from day one.) What that means to us, the fans, is clearly different from what they had in mind. We expected quality storylines and matches showcasing the best their women’s division had to offer, meanwhile what they had in mind was continuing to push their chosen few – only this time the chosen were marginally better than years past – and put them in gimmick matches so they could shove the words “history making” down our throats, while the most talented women on the roster are used to make the chosen few look good because those golden girls can’t do it on their own.

Well, it’s high time that we as a collective start holding WWE accountable for their screwups, because they’ve been pushing this Revolution for several years now but have been sabotaging it since day one. And again, it’s important to note, that Alexa is part of a larger problem – and once you cure this symptom of said problem, we can move on to the next. They continue to choose talent from looks and/or family relations and not the ones who’ve been busting their ass for years to become the exceptional talents they are now – and then go out every night and bust their ass and give all of themselves and in some cases more every single night. Those are the women you reward with championships, big matches, and storylines – the ones that have devoted their lives to this business.

WWE has some of the best women’s wrestlers in the world on their roster, and I implore them to use them wisely while they can. Stop wasting their time or they’ll be gone and it’ll be too late when you finally realize what you had. Because it’s getting to the point where you don’t deserve them anymore. Without the talent, the women’s revolution is nothing. And I refuse to watch something that has meant a lot to me die because of the ineptitude of the company that started it.

Becky Lynch. Sasha Banks. Ember Moon. Asuka. Bayley. Ruby Riott. Peyton Royce. Billie Kay. Sarah Logan. Kairi Sane. Dakota Kai. Bianca Belair. Candice LeRae. Toni Storm. Io Shirai.

If you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years, take stock of those names – because a decade from now it will be their matches that you’ll never forget. Their talent is unmatched and they are destined to overcome any and all of WWE’s latent biases. These women are the present and the future. And, most importantly, they are the revolution, and they are why this revolution will not be killed.

WWE SummerSlam 2018 Review, Comments, Etc.

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Well after all is said and done – SummerSlam is in the books and if I’m honest, I actually enjoyed it for the most part. The matches I expected to be good were, the matches I expected to suck did suck but they made them watchable somehow, so at the end of the day, it was a successful PPV. That being said, it was still too long.

The preshow matches were fine, barring the last one. Andrade and Zelina defeated Rusev and Lana in a fun match and Cedric retained the Cruiserweight Championship in a good match against Drew Gulak. On the other hand, the B Team is garbage and the way WWE treated the Revival tonight is pathetic and WWE should be ashamed.

The first match was Seth Rollins defeating Dolph Ziggler in a really good match for the Intercontinental Championship. It was better than the Ironman match definitely. Still Rollins never should have lost the title to Dolph to begin with. Hopefully Seth moves away from Dolph now.

Rating: ***1/2

The New Day defeated the Bludgeon Brothers by DQ so they did not win the tag titles – other than the DQ finish this was a fun match.

Rating: **1/2

Braun Strowman then killed Kevin Owens in a squash. RIP.

Rating: DUD (Overall a positive, though.)

Then, Charlotte defeated Carmella and Becky Lynch to win the Blue Women’s Title in a really good match. Definitely the best women’s title match on PPV this year I would say. Even though the wrong person won, I’m not going to complain until Becky doesn’t win the belt from Charlotte. Becky winning the title from Charlotte will ultimately mean more than her beating Carmella so I’m okay with it. And Becky with the super face turn after the match and destroying Charlotte while the crowd cheered her on. She’s an even bigger crowd favorite than ever. Nice botched Moonsault, btw, Charlotte.

Rating: ***1/2

Samoa Joe then defeated A.J. Styles by DQ to not win the WWE title in a very great match. I’m still disappointed Joe didn’t win the title, though. Hopefully he will come out of the feud with the title.

Rating: ***1/2

The Miz defeated Daniel Bryan in another very good match on this show – I’m glad they’re going to keep this story going because it’s definitely a money feud for Mania. Hopefully Bryan moves on to Almas.

Rating: ****

Finn Balor decided the demon was necessary for Baron Corbin and squashed him.

Rating: DUD (Positive)

Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Jeff Hardy in an okay but overall too long match to retain the U.S. Championship.

Rating: **

Ronda Rousey destroyed Alexa Bliss to win the WWE Women’s Championship. Good that they kept this realistic because Bliss doing anything to what we’re supposed to believe Rousey to be would be comical and just WWE blowing smoke up their own asses. It wasn’t going to be a good match, they did literally the best thing they could have done with it. Enjoy never being champ again Bliss.

Rating: DUD (Positive)

Roman Reigns defeated Brock Lesnar to win the Universal Championship in the same match they always have – now with added Braun Strowman for reasons. At least we have a champion now, but what they did with Strowman was stupid. I wonder if they put him out there so the crowd wouldn’t be assholes but since they were assholes they just took him out because the crowd was bad.

Rating: *

Overall it was a good show and basically all but a couple things that should have happened, did.

Overall Grade: B

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

WWE SummerSlam 2018 Final Card and Results

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WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe
My Winner: Samoa Joe
Probable Winner: A.J. Styles
Winner by DQ, Samoe Joe: Still WWE World Heavyweight Champion, A.J. Styles

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns
My Winner: Meh
Probable Winner: Roman Reigns
Winner, and new WWE Universal Champion, Roman Reigns

WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Ronda Rousey
My Winner: Sasha Banks, Ember Moon, Bayley, Ruby Riott – you know, someone actually talented
Probable Winner: Ronda Rousey
Winner, and new WWE Women’s Champion, Ronda Rousey

Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: The Miz
Winner: The Miz

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Carmella (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte
My Winner: Becky Lynch
Probable Winner: Charlotte
Winner, and new WWE Blue Women’s Champion, Charlotte

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Seth Rollins
My Winner: Seth Rollins
Probable Winner: Seth Rollins
Winner, and new WWE Intercontinental Champion, Seth Rollins

WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Bludgeon Brothers (c) vs. The New Day
My Winners: Either
Probable Winners: The Bludgeon Brothers
Winners by DQ, The New Day; Still WWE Blue World Tag Team Champions, The Bludgeon Brothers

WWE U.S. Championship
Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Jeff Hardy
My Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
Probable Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura
Winner, and still WWE U.S. Champion, Shinsuke Nakamura

Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens
My Winner: Meh
Probable Winner: Braun Strowman
Winner: Braun Strowman

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin
My Winner: Finn Balor
Probable Winner: Finn Balor
Winner: Finn Balor

Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega vs. Rusev and Lana
My Winners: Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega
Probable Winners: Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega
Winners: Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The B Team (c) vs. The Revival
My Winners: The Revival
Probable Winners: The B Team
Winners, and still WWE World Tag Team Champions, The B Team

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Drew Gulak
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Cedric Alexander
Winner, and still WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Cedric Alexander

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn IV Review, Comments, Etc.

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Tonight was NXT Takeover: Brooklyn IV and as usual, it was really good. I’m even more mad this couldn’t have been in Chicago.

Undisputed Era defeated Mustache Mountain to retain the tag team championship in another really good match between these two teams. The right team won and while I still don’t care much about MM as a team there’s no denying their talent. I think it would’ve been interesting if Bate found himself in the same submission that Seven refused to tap to and tapped quickly to see where they ended up after that. War Raiders attacked Undisputed Era after the match.

Velveteen Dream defeated EC3 in a good match. I’m glad the right guy won because I was assuming EC3 would. The spinning DDT onto the ramp was awesome as well as the Dream Valley Driver on the apron. And if Dream gets called up it’s safe to say Vince has been staring at Dream’s ass.

Ricochet defeated Adam Cole to win the North American Championship in a really good match. The moonsault that was countered by a superkick was awesome. Just go watch it.

Kairi Sane defeated Shayna Baszler to win the NXT Women’s Championship in a pretty good match. It was a little short and I think the way Kairi won made sense because I’m not sure she’d done quite enough to Shayna to get the win in any other fashion then catching her in a pin from her own submission. AND KAIRI WON!

And finally Tommaso Ciampa defeated Johnny Gargano in another great match to retain the NXT World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match. It was great – which isn’t a surprise – and while I still would have gone with a draw, no harm was done. Still, there was one part that disappointed me. I would’ve done the finish differently – and it would’ve led to a draw. This is my version: Ciampa jumps from the barricade to the apron to do his hanging DDT off the apron, thru the tables and onto concrete, but Gargano intercepts him w/his Spear and they both effectively hit their move thru the tables and onto concrete and we get a draw. But regardless it was still really good.

Ultimately this went as good as it could have for me. I probably would’ve kept the title on Cole but I love Ricochet so it’s not like I’ll complain. Anyways, beat that, SummerSlam. LOL.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn IV Final Card and Results

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Last Man Standing Match for the NXT World Heavyweight Championship
Tommaso Ciampa (c) vs. Johnny Gargano
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Tommaso Ciampa
Winner, and still NXT World Heavyweight Champion, Tommaso Ciampa

NXT North American Championship
Adam Cole (c) vs. Ricochet
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Adam Cole
Winner, and new NXT Noth American Champion, Ricochet

NXT Women’s Championship
Shayna Baszler (c) vs. Kairi Sane
My Winner: Kairi Sane
Probable Winner: Kairi Sane
Winner, and NEW NXT Women’s Champion, Kairi Sane

NXT World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Undisputed Era (c) vs. Mustache Mountain
My Winners: Undisputed Era
Probable Winners: Undisputed Era
Winners, and still NXT World Tag Team Champions, Undisputed Era

Velveteen Dream vs. EC3
My Winner: Velveteen Dream
Probable Winner: Velveteen Dream
Winner: Velveteen Dream

WWE SummerSlam 2018 Predictions, Comments, Etc.

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Behold the PPV poster that was packed with as much mediocrity as they could when only including two matches from this show. Ah, SummerSlam – a show that will be half good and half trash because basically all of Smackdown’s matches will be good and all of Raw’s will be trash. From what this show could have been, this still seems to be yet another disappointment.

Pre-show

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Drew Gulak

I wish I had something to say about this match but I still don’t watch 205 Live because I don’t have time for everything. I feel like maybe they’ve been building this for a bit but I’m not positive they’re going to have a new champion yet.

Prediction: Cedric Alexander

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) The B-Team (c) vs. The Revival


We finally have the Revival getting a tag title shot on a PPV and…..it’s against the B-Team. I feel so bad for them. The B-Team is such awful trash but it’s indicative of all of Raw’s champions – boring, irrelevant garbage. The Revival proved to be tag team gods and now they finally get a shot on PPV after a year of injuries and being wasted against this crap. They’d better fucking win.

Prediction: The Revival

Rusev and Lana vs. Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega

I wish it was just Andrade vs. Rusev because Lana is still useless in the ring but this will still be fun. And after this show Andrade better end up in a real feud. I expect Aiden English to fail Rusev Day yet again.

Prediction: Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega

Main Show

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

Nothing screams “I have nothing for you” than putting Finn Balor in a third match with Baron Corbin on SummerSlam in an extremely pointless feud. How disinteresting. What does this do for anyone? What we should have gotten was Finn and Drew McIntyre both being active competitors in the Intercontinental Championship match in a fatal 4 way. Instead we get…..this. Imagine if WWE was dumb enough to finally bring the demon back for this crap.

Prediction: Finn Balor

WWE U.S. Championship
Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Jeff Hardy


This story seems to focus more on Randy Orton and he’s nowhere in this match. It’s basically them saying that Orton’s definitely going to interfere in this match. Just don’t shake his hand. Yet another Extreme Rules rematch even if that was a squash. How many rematches on this show do we need?

Prediction: Shinsuke Nakamura

Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens

Oh look, ANOTHER rematch. And it was so great the first three or four times. How many times do I need to see Braun shoulder block Kevin on the outside? Feels like they’ve been feuding for three months for no reason other than Braun can’t figure out someone else to beat up for no reason. And now Jinder was somehow dragged into this for reasons. And Owens gets the briefcase if he wins in any fashion but…I don’t see it happening.

Prediction: Braun Strowman

WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Bludgeon Brothers (c) vs. The New Day


I’m sure this match will be good but sadly I find myself not super interested. They haven’t handled the Bludgeon Bros title reign poorly, but not great either. They’ve won against teams they should have but the matches weren’t memorable. Hopefully this changes that.

Prediction: The Bludgeon Brothers

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Seth Rollins


If WWE was smart Seth would be winning the Universal Title from Brock on this show but alas, he’s stuck with Dolph’s bitchass again. Dolph should be losing that belt to Drew on this show but isn’t. It should be a fatal 4-way with Drew and Finn and it’d be a MOTN competitor. So basically Seth is going to regain the title unless Dean turns on him which I doubt.

Prediction: Seth Rollins

Daniel Bryan vs. The Miz

This is definitely one of the biggest and most anticipated matches on the show……and honestly is this the first time you can say that about a one on one Miz match? Probably. But it’s well earned. This feud is great, and if we want it to keep going then the Miz needs to win.

Prediction: The Miz

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Blue Women’s Championship
Carmella (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Everything about this feud was going great. Carmella had Ellsworth back, Becky was being built up, and it was going to be the best women’s title match we’ve had since Bayley lost the title to Bliss. We had a match with a built in feud and story and two women who work well together. And then Charlotte’s bitch ass returned. Charlotte, who has absolutely nothing to do with this story.  Charlotte, who has done absolutely nothing at all to earn this title match. Charlotte who was given an opportunity to get into this title match for no reason whatsoever – she lost to Carmella TWICE clean, and just came back from getting surgery – and you don’t get opportunities just for being back. And that’s just fucking pathetic. You constantly screw over the actually talented women on your roster for garbage because of nepotism and bias and for what? Becky has proven to be ratings. The women you push as your champions prove to drive people away. And I like Carmella – even if she’s not the best wrestler, she’s definitely the more entertaining of the two main roster women’s champions. That said, SummerSlam is the longest her reign can be in terms of acceptability. The problem is that now, the way the story is going – the only way Carmella doesn’t retain is if Charlotte wins. And then Becky gets pissed. And Becky turns heel. And that’s horseshit. Becky has barely ever gotten her time to shine and she has constantly been the best part of Smackdown’s women’s division since the brand split happened and she is constantly shoved aside for bullshit. She was shoved aside for Alexa’s bitchass, then Naomi, then Natalya’s bitchass, and Charlotte’s bitchass, and when Carmella won the title – someone Becky has been feuding with for ages and it’s clearly her story, she still has to be shoved aside for Charlotte’s bitchass AGAIN. And yes sure she’s showing that she’s mad on screen which she rightly should be – but that’s something she should be doing in the back and still being a face on screen because she shouldn’t be turning heel – Charlotte should be. Any fan that still cheers for Charlotte after she clearly stole her best friend’s spot is an ignorant pile of shit. NO ONE CARES ABOUT CHARLOTTE. SHE IS AWFUL. BOTH AS A HUMAN AND AS A WRESTLER. The only people who like Charlotte are delusional fuckwits. I’m so sorry Becky – you deserve so much better. This company doesn’t deserve you.

Prediction: Carmella

WWE Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Ronda Rousey


And if you thought that last rant was bad….. Alexa Bliss continues to hold the Women’s Title hostage from actually talented women and she’s going to lose the title to…..another talentless human. In a match with no heat. Because no one in their right mind perceives Alexa “I won’t take a bump until you do, my character is a bad wrestler not me I swear” Bliss – the one whose offense consists of mediocre, ineffective slaps, a crappy looking DDT, and some various other weak looking maneuvers – as any form of threat to Ronda Rousey – the apparent badass from the UFC. Even if you don’t watch UFC or don’t care about her, her name still carries that weight. And when I think of the two against each other – while I have really nothing positive to say about Ronda – she would still defeat Bliss just by flicking her with her finger in a real fight. Of course Bliss would try to avoid that contact to and not bump from it, but that’s par for the course. Hell, the bat that showed up at ringside on Raw Monday has more heat on Ronda than Alexa does just from Ronda saying “OMG there’s a bat.” Imagine UFC people crossing over to watch this match to see Ronda – someone they’ve been cheering for years – go for the women’s title and see Alexa as her opponent. They’re laughing their asses off. They even know how bad this match is going to be because they’re going to have them practice it move for move all week – now the ignorant will probably praise them for “working hard” while the rest of us can see it’s two people who clearly don’t belong here having to have everything rehearsed so it doesn’t look awful – and then it will look awful anyway because we know they’re faking everything. And ultimately, if and when Ronda wins, it will mean nothing because she won the title in a match that was rehearsed against a woman who refuses to bump and sell so it will just make Ronda look like an idiot instead of the badass we’re supposed to perceive her as. FFS just send a meteor to take them both out. At this point is actively not putting actually talented women on this PPV because those women are so damn good that they know those women will overshadow Alexa’s and Ronda’s bitchasses and they don’t want that. That’s why Sasha and Bayley aren’t having a one on one match on this show – something they’ve been promising us for months now – and it would have been in Brooklyn AGAIN, where their first match was, where that big moment of the women’s revolution was. That was one of the best matches in WWE history and we’re not getting that because that would make this match forgettable even though it still will be, and because heel Sasha makes Alexa even more irrlevant than she already is. Still, in the absence of that, there still isn’t even any Boss Hugs vs. Riott Squad which would also be great because Sasha, Bayley, and Ruby are all exceptional and Sasha and Bayley as a team is STILL the best part of Raw even if they aren’t feuding with each other. FUCK I can’t even make fun of all the idiots who thought it was some kind of lesbian angle just because Sasha said I love you, as if friends/people who are like family don’t tell each other that they love each other. Like FUCK OFF morons – as if WWE has the kind of sensitivity to do an lgbt angle with any kind of positive representation of anything. I don’t trust them to do anything good with that so as bad as it is that there’s no representation of that, that’s still better than anything they could actually do if there was. Regardless Sasha vs. Bayley was the shining moment of the women’s revolution and the fact that WWE isn’t going to do something with them at all when they’re in Brooklyn just so they don’t show up the inferior garbage WWE decides to shove down our throats is mindblowing and pathetic. You want us to watch your shows and you have the opportunity to have great matches that people will praise you for…..and you choose not to just out of pettiness. Sasha and Bayley are too good for this company. Ruby and Ember too. Just leave and go to a company that’s worthy of your time and talent, please, because WWE would rather push talentless women with no love for this business over exceptionally talented women who have been busting their ass for years – and that includes years before they even got to this company – and we simply can’t afford for that talent to be wasted and these women’s passion for this industry to be destroyed by a company so unwilling to actually put on the matches and stories and rivalries that their self congratulating and heavy promotion of their women’s evolution would have you believe that they already do – because all of their promotion of it is just smoke and mirrors.

Prediction: Ronda Rousey

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns


For fuck’s sake just give Roman the title already and get it fucking over with. No one gives a fuck about either one and no amount of having Roman beating other people we don’t give a shit about is going to make us cheer him.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe


Really looking forward to this. How many Samoans named Joe are going to win the title on this show? Probably only one. And I wish it was this one. But somehow I see A.J. retaining.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

Phew. Glad that’s over. Review Sunday.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK

!bye

-Mzrc-