WWE WrestleMania 34 Fantasy Card


Edited version to be more realistic:

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman

WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Sasha Banks (c) vs. Asuka
(Sasha turns heel and wins)

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Becky Lynch

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon vs. Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey

Seth Rollins vs. Jason Jordan

WWE U.S. Championship
Rusev (c) vs. Chad Gable

The Revival vs. The New Day

WWE Smackdown World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Usos (c) vs. The Bludgeon Brothers

Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor

John Cena vs. Elias

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz (c) vs. Tye Dillinger

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Hideo Itami


WWE Royal Rumble 2018 Review, Comments, Etc.


What is this? I’m….happy…after a Royal Rumble. What is this? I haven’t felt this feeling after a Rumble since….um…..uh…….2010. Maybe 2011 – I didn’t hate Del Bitchbag yet in 2011. But I didn’t want him to win in specific, so the fact that this year they got not one but TWO rumble winners correct, I am quite flabbergasted. Now, there were some weird moments and some disappointing parts of the show, but all in all, they got the Rumble winners right and didn’t fuck anything else up really, so I can’t complain. Nothing on this show was the quality of Almas/Gargano, but this is probably the first show that followed a Takeover that wasn’t a failure overall. So all in all, a good weekend for WWE.

The first match, surprisingly, was A.J. Styles defending the WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn in a fairly fun handicap match. It was about what you’d expect from this match. Styles inevitably got a pinfall on Owens when he wasn’t legal, so I was expecting Bryan to come out to restart the match – to lead to more nonsense where the nonlegal man pinned A.J. and Shane restarted to do it again. But, nothing. This storyline will very likely continue, but we got nothing more to this match in specific on this show.

Rating: ***

Next was the Usos defending and retaining the WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship against Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable in a really good 2 out of 3 Falls match. The opening fall was basically the meat of the match with a lot of the fast paced action you’d expect from them, until the Usos took the first fall. And once that happened, it seemed like Benjamin and Gable would tie the match up as they seemed to have a strategy – but the Uso that was in the ring quickly rolled up Shelton for the three count before Gable could break it up and won the match at two straight falls. It was a little weird – I’m happy the Usos retained but the finish was odd.

Rating: ***1/2

Next was the men’s Royal Rumble Match. I was quite pleased to find that the women main evented because their Rumble definitely seemed more properly built up. I enjoyed this match a lot – I liked that Finn was in it for a long time. I was pleased to see Andrade and Adam Cole in the match, and I guess Rey coming back was cool even though Johnny freaking Mundo is way cooler. I was able to call Elias’s entrance. I enjoyed that the match came down to Finn and Shinsuke vs. Roman vs. Cena Orton and Rey in a way. It seemed like a few eras against each other. And then it came down to Finn and Shinsuke vs. Cena and Reigns which was also fun. And Shinsuke won!! I can’t believe it. I didn’t trust them to do it at all and they did the right thing. I know we’re obviously getting Roman vs. Brock no matter what but A.J. vs. Shinsuke is our gift for eating some crap.

Rating: ***1/2

The Bar defeated Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan – three fourths of which had been in the Rumble – to win the WWE World Tag Team Championship. Jordan got taken out and did the A.J. Lee spot from A.J. and Paige vs. the Bellas at Mania 31 where you just spend most of the match down on the outside before coming in. Although, unlike A.J. Lee, Jason Jordan is completely useless and came back in, couldn’t do it, tagged out and left so Rollins could lose.

Rating: **1/2

Brock Lesnar retained the Universal Championship against Braun Strowman and Kane in the exact match you expected them to have, only worse.

Rating: *

And finally, the women’s Rumble match. It was quite fun, outside of Stephanie on commentary. Sasha and Becky started, which was a good idea. We got a ton of legends in this match – basically all of the ones that were on Raw 25 plus Lita and Molly Holly and Beth Phoenix. I was pleased to see Kairi Sane and Ember Moon. My only legit disappointment was no Iconic Duo and I’m really pissed Kelly Kelly was in it. I’d complain about the Bellas, but….you can’t really do anything about that. They didn’t win so it’s fine. I’m not even mad they eliminated Sasha – they kind of had to at that point. When it comes down to it – Sasha was #1, lasted longest, got to face her heroes, eliminated Trish, and proved that she’s the GOAT yet again. Oh and she eliminated Bayley. I’m a bit surprised they didn’t do something with Trish and Lita, though. You’d think they would since both were in the match. And Asuka won so all is good.

Rating: ***1/2

And then Ronda Rousey did indeed show up, but thankfully she didn’t win the Rumble. I’m really not pleased that Ronda is going to be a thing in WWE – but I do appreciate that she basically went straight past the scrubs WWE calls champions and went straight for the real talent in Asuka.

Overall, the show was a lot of fun and I’m pleased with the winners. I just wish there was no Ronda and Braun keeps getting screwed.

Overall Grade: B+

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK



WWE Royal Rumble 2018 Final Card and Results


Royal Rumble Match
Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch vs. Bayley vs. Asuka vs. Ruby Riott vs. Sarah Logan vs. Liv Morgan vs. Naomi vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Nia Jax vs. Tamina vs. Natalya vs. Lana vs. Carmella vs. Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke vs. Molly Holly vs. Ember Moon vs. Lita vs. Trish Stratus vs. Michelle McCool vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella vs. Jacqueline vs. Vickie Guerrero vs. Kairi Sane
My Winner: Sasha Banks or Becky Lynch or Asuka
Probable Winner: Asuka or Ronda Rousey
Winner: Asuka

Royal Rumble Match
John Cena vs. Finn Balor vs. Randy Orton vs. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Elias vs. Rusev vs. Aiden English vs. The Miz vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy vs. Apollo Crews vs. Titus O’Neill vs. Baron Corbin vs. Xavier Woods vs. Big E vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Rhyno vs. Heath Slater vs. Andrade Cien Almas vs. Adam Cole vs. Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro vs. The Hurricane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Goldust vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns
My Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura or Finn Balor
Probable Winner: Roman Reigns or Shinsuke Nakamura
Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane
My Winner: Braun Strowman
Probable Winner: Brock Lesnar
Winner, and still WWE Universal Champion, Brock Lesnar

Handicap Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
My Winner: A.J. Styles
Probable Winner: A.J. Styles
Winner, and still WWE World Heavyweight Champion, A.J. Styles

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan (c) vs. The Bar
My Winners: The Bar
Probable Winners: The Bar
Winners, and new WWE World Tag Team Championa, The Bar

Two out of Three Falls Match for the WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Usos (c) vs. Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable
My Winners: The Usos
Probable Winners: The Usos
Winners, and still WWE Blue World Tag Team Champions, The Usos

NXT Takeover: Philadelphia Review, Comments, Etc.


Well, that was yet another great show. I’m sure no one is surprised. Although, it’s not without its share of disappointments – but it’s only results, not quality.

The Undisputed Era retained the NXT World Tag Team Championship in a fairly good match against the Authors of Pain. It was better than expected – TUE were actually fairly dominant for a while before AOP got going, until they got caught by a rollup win. It was good, and it gets AOP out of the title hunt which is good.

Velveteen Dream defeated Kassius Ohno in a fun match. Dream is just the best – I love everything about the beginning of the match. And even though there was a little sloppiness, it didn’t take away from the match and thankfully Dream won.

Ember Moon retained the NXT Women’s Championship against Shayna Baszler, surprisingly. The match was very similar to Bayley vs. Nia Jax from Takeover London in structure. Baszler dominated but Ember got the win when it looked like all was lost. And honestly I don’t think it was the right decision – I think Ember should have lost and moved up. There’s really nothing left for her in NXT.

Adam Cole vs. Aleister Black had a great Extreme Rules match. This and the next match I’m just going to recommend people go watch to see how good they were because words are not enough. For some reason I thought Cole would win, but I guess not – that being said, Black is basically number one contender now.

And finally, Andrade Cien Almas defeated Johnny Gargano to retain the NXT Championship in an insane match. It’s the match of the year so far. I’d be lying though if I said I wasn’t sad Gargano didn’t win, though. I love ACA, but still. Thank God Ciampa came out at the end, because if he hadn’t I’d have been legit mad about it. But go watch this match right now.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK



NXT Takeover: Philadelphia Final Card and Results


NXT World Heavyweight Championship
Andrade Cien Almas (c) vs. Johnny Gargano
My Winner: Either, but Johnny Gargano
Probable Winner: Johnny Gargano
Winner, and still NXT World Heavyweight Champion, Andrade Cien Almas

NXT Women’s Championship
Ember Moon (c) vs. Shayna Baszler
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Shayna Baszler
Winner, and still NXT Women’s Champion, Ember Moon

Extreme Rules Match
Adam Cole vs. Aleister Black
My Winner: Either
Probable Winner: Adam Cole
Winner: Aleister Black

NXT World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Undisputed Era (c) vs. The Authors of Pain
My Winners: The Undisputed Era
Probable Winners: The Undisputed Era
Winners, and still NXT World Tag Team Champions, The Undisputed Era

Velveteen Dream vs. Kassius Ohno
My Winner: Velveteen Dream
Probable Winner: Velveteen Dream
Winner: Velveteen Dream

WWE Royal Rumble 2018 Predictions, Comments, Etc.


I feel like I’m about to have a lot more to say that I normally do for predictions posts these days, so let’s get right to it.

Two out of Three Falls Match for the WWE Blue World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Usos (c) vs. Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin

This match is going to be insane. The Usos track record speaks for itself and Chad Gable is insane – and Shelton’s no scrub either. And two out of three falls – damn. I don’t feel like there’s a good reason to take the belts off the Usos anytime soon.

Prediction: The Usos

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan (c) vs. The Bar

I can’t stand the fact that Seth Rollins is being forced to carry around this weight on his back. How ironic is it that I’m actually hoping for Sheamus and Cesaro – a team formed despite being rivals that I never wanted to exist – to win the titles from Rollins and Jordan – a team formed despite being rivals that I don’t want to exist? Like, Rollins and Jordan is to Angle as Sheamus and Cesaro is to Mick Foley. But at least Rollins FINALLY has the Curb Stomp back – and hopefully they’ll lose so he can curb stomp the fuck out of Jordan.

Prediction: The Bar

Handicap Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
A.J. Styles (c) vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

So first things first – A.J. is retaining. The match will be good. Now can we just get this Shane/Bryan shit done with? Because it’s getting old. Someone Shane McMahon is acting like the biggest heel with the world’s biggest vendetta against Owens and Zayn because….why exactly? They cost Smackdown a completely meaningless tag team match on Survivor Series? Fuck that. And now he’s basically trying to make Daniel Bryan look like the bad guy when all Bryan is doing is trying to unfuck everything Shane is fucking up. GOOD GOD. They can’t keep going down this path if Bryan isn’t going to be cleared to wrestle. END THIS.

Prediction: A.J. Styles

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane

Braun isn’t going to win so literally NO ONE CARES.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Men’s Royal Rumble Match
Significant Participants: Roman Reigns, John Cena, Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura, Finn Balor

This feels like the least built Rumble match ever. It feels like no one’s in it. There are only 17 people announced and like, four that have a chance. The betting odds are weird as fuck. Daniel Bryan has the third highest odds and he won’t even be in it. Dolph Ziggler has the fourth best odds and he hasn’t a shot in hell in winning. The rightful winner is, of course, Shinsuke Nakamura, but I don’t trust WWE to be that smart. I don’t trust WWE to be smart enough to get both rumble winners right. I don’t trust WWE not to be racist because I just envision them being “WHAT? SHINSUKE AND ASUKA? No way we can give them both to non-American talents.” Yea. Seems like a Vince thought process to me, as awful as it is. I hate to settle on the safe bet, but I feel like I have to go with it – although I hope they do the right thing and give it to Shinsuke. That said, I hope the match is actually fun and there are real surprises unlike last year.

Prediction: Roman Reigns

Women’s Royal Rumble Match
Significant Participants: Asuka, Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Bayley

I have A LOT of things to get off my chest here.

  1. Why the hell is Stephanie McMahon on commentary? AWFUL. Just so she can surprise us and be in it.
  2. No Ronda Rousey. We don’t need her, we don’t want her. Disrespectful to even think that this revolution thingy is being built by the women in the company and yet you want to bring in a random UFC fighter to win this? Grow up.
  3. The obvious victor is Asuka. BUT, considering she already beat Alexa’s bitch ass a few weeks ago, I’m wondering if Alexa’s useless ass might find her way into the ring and cost Asuka the match. I know that sounds crazy considering Alexa is afraid to do anything in the ring these days – she’s had one match since Survivor Series guys. (And it was a bad match. With Asuka. ALEXA BLISS MADE THE GREAT ASUKA HAVE A BAD MATCH. Release her.)
  4. If Asuka were to be taken out by Alexa’s waste of space ass, she’ll just win the title in the first women’s Elimination Chamber match and then Alexa’s irrelevant ass will find herself NOT even in the Raw Women’s Title match at Mania because that means we’ll get Sasha vs. Asuka and all will be right in the world.
  5. Speaking of the Raw Women’s Championship, have you seen that thing? I haven’t seen it in months. It’s like at SummerSlam, we finally saw that title again and then it was around for a week, and then a week later it fell into a dumpster that was on fire again.
  6. That being said, I haven’t seen the Smackdown Women’s Championship since like…………….TLC 2016? Becky Lynch won it….and then it just disappeared and was never seen again. Can we get that on a milk bottle?
  7. I got this feeling that WWE is going to do the right thing and give us Sasha vs. Asuka but to have that greatness we might have to have a repeat of the ultimate dumpster fire match of Alexa vs. Charlotte too, so we might have to accept some trash to get what we want.
  8. As far as surprises go, I sincerely hope we get some Ember Moon and even moreso, some Iconic Duo. Other surprises I would greatly enjoy are Toni Storm, Dakota Kai, Santana Garrett, or somehow Taya. Because I know I won’t get any A.J. Lee.
  9. For the love of God, NO KELLY KELLY. And no Bella Twins, but if I have to stomach the Bellas so there’s no Kelly, fine. It would be extremely disrespectful to have Kelly in this match – it was disrespectful enough to the current women that she was on Raw this week. Remember, Kelly Kelly went on live radio and said that the current women are NOT stars and that the women who had piss break matches WERE STARS. SHE IS FUCKING DELUSIONAL.
  10. I sincerely hope, even though I know it’s not, that the Paige injury is a work and that it’s all been a ruse so she can end up being #30 and win. I know that’s not real and it’s just me hoping, but I really don’t want her career to be over and I really want more to rub in the face of the insane fucktards who are blaming Sasha for Paige getting injured again when Paige was clearly a ticking time bomb. And yet they dare accost Sasha the Great. In the meantime, here’s to hoping Sasha comes to the ring and turns heel by saying she killed Paige’s career and then promptly break Alexa’s ass because really – the only reason people even like talentless Alexa is because of her overrated ass.
  13. Fun surprises, please.

Prediction: Asuka

Anyways, that was fun.

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK



NXT Takeover: Philadelphia Predictions, Comments, Etc.


A big four PPV means that the real show is the night before. This show is going to be amazing.

Velveteen Dream vs. Kassius Ohno

Excuse the self-made graphic. Anyways, this match was just kind of thrown together, so it doesn’t have much story besides Dream saying he can beat Ohno easily. And hopefully he does because Dream is awesome and I give no fucks about Kassius.

Prediction: Velveteen Dream

NXT World Tag Team Championship
(c) The Undisputed Era (c) vs. The Authors of Pain

I think it’s time we finally get AOP out of the title picture and I’m pretty sure the Undisputed Era will find a way to win.

Prediction: The Undisputed Era

Extreme Rules Match
Aleister Black vs. Adam Cole

This match should be great. I feel like since we’re past Aleister’s first loss that we’re going to see another one here.

Prediction: Adam Cole

NXT Women’s Championship
Ember Moon (c) vs. Shayna Baszler

Given how quickly Shayna has found herself in a title match, I can’t imagine her losing. Ember may have just won the title two months ago, but she seems more likely to be main roster/Rumble bound the day after this. It seems like the title win felt more like a show of thanks from NXT before whisking her on her way right up after Asuka.

Prediction: Shayna Baszler

NXT World Heavyweight Championship
Andrade Cien Almas (c) vs. Johnny Gargano

This match is going to be amazing. They’ve already had two great matches as it is. And while this is Andrade’s first title match – I don’t think there’s a point to this story unless Gargano finally beats him and thus become champion. (And so Ciampa can come back and beat him for it!)

Prediction: Johnny Gargano

#LaterMarks #DontTouchTheBombs #ButImNotWrong #LunaticFringe #StraightEdgeMeansImBetterThanYou #FollowTheBuzzards #IAmTheEaterOfWorlds #WalkWithTheReapers #AJIsTheBestDivaInTheWorld #PaigeIsTheBloodyDivasChampion #InZayn #FaceThatRunsThePlace #BalorClub #SashasTheBoss #StraightFire #FiveFeetOfFury #LittleMissBliss #FightOwensFight #BecauseHesAFatherDamnit #WelcomeToTheWasteland #SAWFT #BayleysGonnaHugYou #JoeIsGonnaKillYou #ReadyWillingAndGable #BlissedOff #SAVE_US #JerichoInventedEverything #NewDayWillFightYourChildren #CeroMiedo #SamoaJoeHasAn8AndaThirdPercentChance #ReyIsLifeReyIsLove #BaddestBitchInTheBuilding #CesaroSection #JohnnyRudo #SuicidalAngel #ImNotAManImAMachine #YouKnowWhatThatMeans #TeamKICK



2017 Wrestling Awards



So I’m going to go through some wrestling awards for 2017, and hopefully not take too much time here. It’s the beginning/end of the year, you’ve no doubt seen 43849438293 of these, so no need for explanation. I’m just going to give mention the awards and winners, not necessarily writing anything about them.

We’re going to run through some WWE only awards first before we get to wrestling in general, although the first award is the worst match of the year in general.

Worst Match of the Year: Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss, Kendo Stick on a Pole Match
A match that was not only terrible, but it destroyed Bayley’s credibility and career. We can only hope it can be saved.

Best WWE Match of the Year: The Revival vs. DIY vs. The Authors of Pain
Honorable Mentions: The Usos vs. The New Day (SummerSlam), Pete Dunne vs. Tyler Bate (NXT Chicago) A.J. Styles vs. John Cena, Aleister Black vs. Velveteen Dream

Worst WWE Male Champion of the Year: Jinder Mahal
Honorable Mention: Bobby Roode

Best WWE Male Champion of the Year: A.J. Styles

Worst WWE Female Champion of the Year: Natalya
Honorable Mentions: Charlotte, Naomi

Best WWE Female Champion of the Year: Asuka
It’s basically by default. Sasha can’t make it with a one week title reign and Bayley got ruined. And none of the rest have been good, either.

Most Overrated/Overutilized WWE Male Superstar: Brock Lesnar
Honorable Mention: Shane McMahon

Most Underrated/Underutilized WWE Male Superstar: Rusev
Honorable Mention: Luke Harper

Most Overrated/Overutilized WWE Female Superstar: Alexa Bliss
Honorable Mention: Charlotte

Most Underrated/Underutitlized WWE Female Superstar: The Iconic Duo
Honorable Mentions: Sasha Banks, Emma

Worst Heel: Jinder Mahal

Worst Face: Jason Jordan

Worst Storyline: Jason Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son

Worst Feud: Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal

Worst PPV: Battleground

Best Tag Team: The Usos
Honorable Mention: The New Day, The Revival, DIY

Best Heel Turn: Tommaso Ciampa

Superstar of the Year: Braun Strowman
Honorable Mention: A.J. Styles, Aleister Black, Johnny Gargano

Female Superstar of the Year: Asuka
Honorable Mentions: Sasha Banks, Peyton Royce, Ember Moon, Kairi Sane

Anyways, moving on to include ALL of wrestling considering WWE was mostly garbage this year. (Meaning, any of these that aren’t given to someone from WWE, that means it’s better than WWE.)

Match of the Year: Killshot vs. Dante Fox, Hell of War. (UltimaLucha 3 Night 1)
Honorable Mentions: All WWE matches from above, Johnny Mundo vs. Prince Puma (UltimaLucha 3 Night 4), Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada (Wrestle Kingdom 11), Tomohiro Ishii vs. Tetsuya Naito (G1 Glimax), Kazuchika Okada vs. Minoru Suzuki (G1 Climax)

Storyline of the Year: Killshot vs. Dante Fox

Show (or event) of the Year: UltimaLucha 3 (As a whole)
Honorable Mentions: G1 Climax (As a whole), NXT Takeover War Games

Wrestler of the Year: Kazuchika Okada
Honorable Mentions: Kenny Omega, Johnny Mundo, A.J. Styles, Braun Strowman, Tetsuya Naito, Tomohiro Ishii, Pentagon Dark, Prince Puma, Killshot, Dante Fox

Female Wrestler of the Year: Asuka
Honorable Mentions: Taya, Peyton Royce, Ember Moon, Sasha Banks, Kairi Sane, Toni Storm
If I watched Stardom, I 100% guarantee Mayu Iwatani and Io Shirai would be on here, and probably winning the award. Black Lotus Triad forever!

Wrestling PSA 12/27/17: The Royal Rumble


Alright, so I felt like I needed to come on here and get a few things off my chest. It’ll probably be quick.

First, we need to talk about the Royal Rumble for a minute.

So, am I hearing John Cena is going to win and face AJ again? Why? I don’t have a problem with Cena anymore, but we really need to move on. You have to build new stars eventually.

And you think we really need Cena vs. AJ again when we want AJ vs. Shinsuke? LOL.

But that’s not the royal rumble we really need to talk about.

We have to talk for a second about the women’s royal rumble.

No, not about it happening to begin with – it’s awesome that it’s happening. I’d have liked the segment of its announcement to have been better, but I’m quite looking forward to the match itself.

Now, with royal rumbles comes surprise entrants. And for the women – if it’s going to be 30 women, I’m pretty sure there are ten open spots if everyone competes.

And we’re going to have to have a discussion about two women I’m hearing might be in it.

I’m hearing that the favorite to win the women’s rumble is Ronda Rousey. You got it. The winner of the first women’s rumble is someone who is not in the company, has never wrestled before, and generally no one gives a fuck about anymore.

This is unacceptable. You have this supposed feel good segment announcing the women’s rumble and you hype all the progress you’ve made because of the women that are in the company….and the winner of the match isn’t even going to be one of those women. The thought of it is just so disrespectful to think about. The segment announcing the Rumble was odd because they decided to have everyone break character since they didn’t know about it – and they were pretty much overjoyed – and now you’re saying none of them are even why you’re doing this You’re doing this for mainstream publicity I couldn’t give a fuck about.

All of this 4 horsewomen vs. 4 horsewomen shit is stuff I don’t need. I don’t give a fuck about UFC. I’ll gladly welcome Shayna Baszler into NXT because she’s paid her dues, but the rest of them, no. And I despise Charlotte, so any excuse for them to overhype that trash is a poor choice.

And for what? Ronda vs. Charlotte? Kill me. I’d rather not be alive. The fact that so many people think Charlotte is a star because her last name is Flair and because she’s tall and athletic is ridiculous. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that Charlotte is a star or “I love what they’re doing with the women, Charlotte is so good” or “If I were to return to the ring I’d want to face Charlotte” – the former by random former males in the business on podcasts or the latter by former females in the business on podcasts. I’d be rich. None of them seem to know how to give proper credit to the actual talent in the division that’s gotten it where it is.

I don’t want to see them overhype what will be an awful Ronda vs. Charlotte match. Or an awful Ronda vs. Alexa match. I mean, as comical as I’d find Alexa losing to Ronda, no. (Hey remember when we all that Alexa was good? Yea, me too.)

God, both women’s divisions are in a terrible state with garbage as champions and now they’re talking about Ronda Rousey.

And the second name I’m hearing is Kelly Kelly.

Now, we all remember Kelly Kelly. She was fucking awful in every possible way. She was a terrible wrestler. She had a terrible theme song. She screamed obnoxiously thoughout her matches. She literally screamed “Come on!” at someone who moved out of the way of a stinkface because she’s so dumb she doesn’t realize that, in a wrestling match, her opponent’s goal is to get offense on her and to not take any of her offense. She does not want the stinkface performed on her and will evade when she can. The fact that Kelly doesn’t realize this and screams come on as if her opponent is supposed to want to take her offense and sit there and wait for it is stupid as fuck.

That being said, Kelly was obviously a part of the dark ages of the women’s division when they were piss breaks and basically eye candy. She wasn’t a star. She wasn’t anything. WWE didn’t care at the time, she had no chance of it even if she wasn’t completely awful.

So when you hear WWE wants to bring in big names for this – Kelly Kelly never comes to mind.

And then you have to consider how stupid she is. Has anyone heard her give interviews related to wrestling in the past few years? She literally thinks WWE positioned her and others in her time in the company to be stars and that the women in the business now – you know, the ones with actual talent – are not in fact stars. Even though, you know, these women are the ones having matches of the year, main events of PPVs, hell in a cell matches, and the best match on a WrestleMania card. Not to mention several of the women are better than half of the male wrestlers or more.

Bringing Kelly Kelly into this match would be equally disrespectful to the women in the business now that actually worked for this – the ones who brought the women to where they are now.

No Ronda Rousey. No Kelly Kelly. End of story.


2018 WWE Wish List


Alright, so with the last WWE PPV having happened last night, I think we can go through my wish list for WWE in 2017 and see what they succeeded and failed on, and then make the 2018 list. Sure, there are two weeks left of tv, but it would appear unlikely that they could really change the results.

So here we go. In 2017:

1) Raw must use the same writing team as Smackdown. That or EVERYONE I like on Raw MUST be traded to Smackdown so I do not have to watch Raw anymore.

Well, they don’t have the same writing team, but in 2017, the quality of Raw’s and Smackdown’s writing has been fairly equal. Unfortunately it was Smackdown coming down to Raw’s level of awful, though.

2) WWE must dedicate one episode of Raw for Charlotte to lose and win the Women’s Title 12 more times so we can get her inevitable 16 title reigns out of the way, and warn us in advance so we can all skip that episode. That way we can get the inevitable out of the way and perhaps move on to women’s champions that are actually good and stories that are good.

She didn’t do that. And somehow she only won a title one time. Unfortunately she still exists though.

3) The Paige situation must be resolved. Either release her like she clearly wants or give her the push she actually deserves when she returns.


4) At some point we need a Shield vs. Wyatts vs. New Day vs. Club match


5) WWE MUST stop scheduling Total Bellas or Total Divas on the same night and at the same time as Lucha Underground and pretend that any of their fans ACTUALLY watch their reality show trash when the best wrestling show on tv airs at the same time.

Fail. Not only did they fail at it, but they decided to have Tribute to the Troops on the night everyone went to see Star Wars and thought people were going to watch.

6) Sasha Banks, Bayley, Emma, and Becky Lynch must ALL be in important matches at WrestleMania. Charlotte vs. Bayley and some meaningless tag match is NOT acceptable.

Besides Emma, I guess this happened?

7) Charlotte must lose for a straight year on PPV, or at least pushed according to her talent and not her last name. No one with the mic skills of a geoduck should be the centerpiece of the division when she’s surrounded by so many who are better than her.


8) Sasha Banks MUST turn heel and show everyone exactly why people have called her the best wrestler in the world. She MUST win the title and KEEP the title and have feuds with Emma and Bayley before dropping it to either one of them.


9) Normally when there are people I hate on the roster, I want them fired. But, in this one special case, Mojo Rawley needs to die a slow, painful death.

Sadly he’s still alive. But apparently he figured out how to not suck in the past few weeks.

10) JBL and David Otunga must stop being commentators.


11) The cruiserweights need characters and stories. They must be allowed to compete on the level of the CWC. Because right now we’re close to  JBL saying that the Bellas started the Cruiserweight Revolution.


12) There must be an NXT Takeover: Chicago.


13) WWE must announce that 2018’s Royal Rumble will be in Chicago. We’ve been waiting far too long.


14) Any fan that chants C.M. Punk, Harambe, Hey We Want Some Bayley, JBL, What, or Boring must be shot and killed. No exceptions.


15) WWE must NEVER have a best of 7 series that contains 9 total matches and result in a mathematically impossible tie, only for the competitors to become a tag team.


16) WWE needs to learn that we’re not going to cheer Enzo for being a misogynist.

Success, he’s a heel now.

17) Bray Wyatt for World Champion.


18) People must realize how damn good Luke Harper is and he must win his own title.

I mean, I think people know he’s great but he doesn’t have his own belt.

19) Dolph needs to not be an ignorant douche on Twitter.

Still an ignorant douche.

20) We must not get any more Brock vs. Goldberg matches


21) Roman must defend the U.S. Championship and act like it means something to him.


22) WWE must stop acting like the U.S. Title is more important than the Universal Championship.

Success I guess

23) James Ellsworth must die.

Well he’s gone.

24) Cesaro needs to rid himself of Sheamus ASAP. We cannot allow for Sheamus to be to Cesaro what Swagger was to Dolph.


25) WWE must explain why Jinder Mahal was rehired again. And also, Curt Hawkins.

Well…..I guess we found out.

26) Asuka MUST debut.


27) Shinsuke Nakamura and Samoa Joe must debut.


28) Alberto Del Rio must never be rehired.


29) A.J. Lee must be put into the Hall of Fame.


30) Charlotte must never win matches with Big Boots ever again.


31) The WrestleMania 33 theme must be a Nice Enough People song.


32) Raw either needs to stop sucking or stop using a Shinedown song as the theme so a song by my favorite band isn’t associated with garbage


33) WrestleMania must actually be good


34) The Revival must be brought up and have more matches with SAWFT, American Alpha, New Day, the Club, and DIY.

This isn’t their fault

35) Natalya has got to go.


36) Naomi needs to stop having seizure-inducing entrances.


37) Now that women have main evented PPVs, it needs to happen more often.

It hasn’t

38) WWE must never use a song by one of my favorite bands in a buildup video for a match my favorite wrestler is in if she is going to lose.


39) WWE needs to stop having the same PPV in the same arena for multiple years in a row.


40) Whatever the fuck an Emmalina is, she needs to show the fuck up already.


41) WWE must stop not caring about their programming during football season. Football is for marks.


42) LESS PPVS. No more HIAC and TLC PPVs.


43) All “fans” that think that their favorite wrestler gets to be the champion solely because they’re their favorite wrestler must stop watching wrestling. Just because Sasha and Charlotte have been feuding for months doesn’t mean your favorite is being held back from championships or something. When I see a comment on a Sasha vs. Charlotte video that goes “#JusticeForSummerRae” that only goes to show how much of an idiot you are. Firstly, she’s injured. Secondly, WHAT THE FUCK HAS SUMMER DONE TO EARN A TITLE? Storylines don’t end in three weeks. Summer isn’t credible. The title isn’t something you pass around to everyone just because they’re there. YOU HAVE TO EARN IT. Stop deciding to have your favorite be a jobber and then pretend they’re being held back when they aren’t on tv – you just have terrible taste in favorites. I’m sure Miz will send you a nice participation award, though.


44) Mick Foley needs to be replaced. He’s ruining his legacy.


45) WWE needs to show us they are progressive and NOT tell us. Have women main event PPVs. Have women wrestle men. Have women win non-women’s titles. Do NOT have women lose matches to moves that wouldn’t end any men’s match we’ve ever seen. Have women have feuds based on hatred just as men would. That said, that hatred shouldn’t be catty, diva-ish bullshit. No slut-shaming. No feuds that are centered around their boyfriends. Stop it with the “All women hate each other” bullshit. Men must not be the deciding factor of a women’s match.


46) WWE must stop having people lose in their hometown.

Fail, unless you’re Naomi or Charlotte

47) WWE must stop having people break someone else’s record because of petty bullshit. First Nikki Bella did it to A.J.’s, and now New Day potentially did the same with Demolition’s.


48) Now that Linda McMahon is part of Trump’s cabinet or in a position or whatever (No one really cares), WWE must at least realize that she is not running for senate and no longer needs to be PG and childish because of it.


49) Big Show and Kane must retire.


50) Seth Rollins needs a new finisher.


51) Cesaro must get a new theme.


Alright, so in 2018, let’s have the following happen:

1) Let’s just get this out of the way now: Big Show, Kane, Natalya, Dolph Ziggler, Tamina, Dana Brooke, Nia Jax, TJ Perkins, Big Cass, Mandy Rose, and Jinder Mahal have got to go.

2) For the love of god, less PPVs.

3) Reassemble both shows’ women’s divisions so they’re worth watching. Smackdown literally only has Becky and Carmella and now the Riott Squad but the rest is trash. Raw has a champion no one gives a fuck about, Nia Jax, and a number of great talents who are terribly underused/misused.

4) WWE must never give the WWE Title on a whim to a random jobber like they did with Jinder Mahal, and then have him hold the title all year, having awful PPV main event after awful PPV main event and ruining the credibility of the title and the show itself, making everyone lose all interest in the program. Especially when you keep having awful main events with Randy Orton, then job out Shinsuke Nakamura to him twice, and then consider Jinder having a match with Brock Lesnar – as if anyone is going to buy it – and then consider Jinder going into Mania as the champion against Cena, as if anyone will give a shit about that when they’re already going to have to have Roman vs. Brock..

5) Kane can never show up and beat someone like Finn Balor.

6) Braun Strowman must never be wasted in a feud with someone like Kane

7) The Bludgeon Brothers must win the tag team titles because it’s ridiculous that Luke Harper hasn’t had any more titles since 2014.

8) Sasha Banks must turn heel, win the title, and never lose it for about a year and a half.

9) The Iconic Duo must debut

10) Someone the crowd likes must win the Royal Rumble

11) WWE must fix the other problems within the women’s division before they even consider tag titles for them

12) Alexa Bliss must actually become a better wrestler, stop botching, take a god damn bump, and not be a trash ass conservative so that all the idiot fanboys might actually sound sane when they say that she’s great – because right now when people say stupid delusional shit like “She’s the best heel on Raw” or “She outperformed Sasha” they sound like delusional mark and a psychopath with a grudge against superior wrestlers (because remember, talent is objective and Sasha is objectively superior to pretty much every female on the roster and also half the males at least) so next time when you say something dumb like that, remember the rest of us intelligent people who actually know stuff about wrestling are laughing at you. Don’t get mad when people say others are better than your favorites – just have better taste in favorites if you can’t handle the truth.

13) WrestleMania must actually be good.

14) Bayley must be fixed

15) Breezango must start having matches and not Fashion Files

16) Chad Gable must start having a singles run leading to him winning the U.S. and later the world title.

17) Whatever prank they’re pulling on us with Jason Jordan has got to stop

18) Ryback just needs to never talk about wrestling related stuff ever again and everyone better know not to listen to his bullshit podcast

19) WWE must stop thinking that we give a shit about Shane McMahon

20) The Mixed Match Challenge must become intergender wrestling otherwise I won’t give much of a shit. Stop giving a fuck about your bullshit sponsors and start giving a fuck about actual wrestling. You keep telling us how you’re progressiveness but you keep forgetting that the only way to actually have women be equal to men is by having intergender wrestling. Separate but equal is not equal. And remember, when some idiot tells you that intergender wrestling promotes domestic violence, you can just remind them that wrestling isn’t real.


22) A.J. Lee must be put in the Hall of Fame.

23) Fix everything about the writing and booking, but that’s obvious.

24) No more Brock Lesnar as champion ever again

25) Everyone who goes on to a podcast and talks about women’s wrestling must not keep calling Charlotte a star and that they love what they’re doing with Charlotte and that she’s the best women’s wrestler ever when there are other women who are far superior to her who have actually carried the weight of the division on their backs to make her look good even though she’s garbage and get practically no credit for it.

26) Naomi’s entrance just needs to end

27) We need every tag feud imaginable between The Usos, Bludgeon Brothers, Revival, Breezango, New Day, and Benjamin and Gable.

28) Booker T must stop being a commentator

29) Rusev must win more titles because it’s Rusev Day!

30) Bobby Roode must be stopped

31) The Cruiserweight Division must be saved

32) No more awful music acts being involved with WWE. No Machine Gun Kelly, No Kid Rock, etc.

33) Whatever is happening with Nia and Enzo can stop now.

33) Nepotism because of people’s relatives must end.

34) Johnny Gargano,Tommaso Ciampa, Velveteen Dream, and Aleister Black must win the NXT Championship

35) Peyton Royce, Kairi Sane, and Dakota Kai must all win the NXT Women’s Title

36) Ember Moon must debut

37) Nikki Cross must be fixed

38) Cesaro must get a new theme

That’s it for now. I may add some before 2018 arrives.

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